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Game Thread: Twins@Brewers 6/2 6:20PM

Riverbrian

By Riverbrian
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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

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Game-time forecast: Partly cloudy with a 30-percent chance of rain. Winds blowing from right to left field at 15-20 m.p.h. Temperature around 75. (What's the difference between 'around' and 'near?')

 

Bri: The Lineups Live from Milwaukee on the way... Just stay patient. ChiTown Delivers!!!

Chi: Yes, live, as Milwaukee is a suburb of Chicago.

 

Twins:

SP, Gibson

 

Dozier 2B

Mauer 1B

Plouffe 3B

Arcia RF

Willingham LF

Suzuki C

Escobar SS

Santana CF

Gibson P

 

Brewers:

SP, Garza

 

Segura SS

Braun RF

Lucroy C

Gomez CF

Davis LF

Gennett 2B

Reynolds 3B

Overbay 1B

Garza P

 

------------------------------------------------------

 

Things to Think About:

 

1. Milwaukee -- Milwaukee is a city on the shores of Lake Michigan that Alice Cooper struggles to pronounce. You have to wonder why Michigan got to name the big lake instead of Wisconsin... Just another example of the East trumping the West once again I guess. Walking through the city of Milwaukee... be sure to wear shoes because there are broken beer bottles everywhere. Of course if you wear shoes... you will immediately stand out as a tourist. Because of the abundance of cheese... you also notice many mice scurrying back and forth. The mice are well fed and larger than cats so Milwaukee is the only city that plays the game of mouse and cat. Milwaukee was originally settled in the 1500's by Italian descendants of Arthur Fonzerelli and Laverne De Fazio. Juke boxes and Pinball Machines have always been no charge to play because all you have to do is tap your fist on them and they start right up and the phrase "Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!" is part of the lexicon and means we are not married and living together so draw your own conclusions. Milwaukee is a popular vacation destination... Summerfest is a huge yearly concert event that lasts from June to May. The beer tours are popular although nobody remember the details of the tour after the free samples. Harley enthusiasts come from everywhere to pay homage to the birthplace while shark jumping in leather jackets is a popular sport.

 

2. The Brewers -- Things have been going great for the Brewers this year. They have the third best record in MLB baseball and currently hold a 4 game lead over the impossible to beat St. Louis Cardinals. The offense has produced at slightly less runs per game than our Twins but they do have players like Ryan Braun and Carlos Gomez that provide instant offense... just add steroids or a chirpy opposing player. Most surprising... it's been the pitching that is driving this club to 1st place. The veteran Kyle Lohse has been leading the way followed by Wily Peralta who was obviously not trying in his previous years after looking at his past stats.

 

3. Miller Park -- The baseball stadium opened it's doors in April, 2001 and was named after Arthur Miller after a Coors Salesman was killed outside the stadium while attempting to secure a service contract with the Brewers. Unique features of the stadium includes a retractable roof. The retractable roof is fan shaped because it's Milwaukee... They needed a larger fan for the **** to hit. Way beyond the left field there is a giant metal slide that leads to a platform. Bernie Brewer the team mascot slides down the slide every time the Brewers hit a homerun... something he's done 8 times in the past 12 plus years. Bernie Brewer used to slide into a giant mug of beer but they found it impossible to keep beer in the giant mug because Milwaukeeans were constantly drinking the beer out of the giant mug causing Bernie Brewer some surprise hard landings with no way to exit the giant mug. In the Middle of the 6th inning... there is always a sausage race and there is nothing stereotypical about the presentation of each sausage.

 

4. Matt Garza -- Tonight the Brewers will throw ex-Twin Matt Garza... Garza was a Free Agent signing in the off season. Securing a contract of 50 million dollars and 4 years in length... which equates to 10 dollars per every time he spits. Matt was born in the middle of the Big Valley in California the son of Barbara Stanwyck. Originally drafted out of Fresno State by the Minnesota Twins in 2005... he blew through the minors and arrived in the big leagues in 2006. Reportedly... Matt's time in Minnesota was short because Garza became difficult to manage and new GM Bill Smith felt they had enough pitching with Nick Blackburn. Which led to a trade of Garza and Bartlett to the Rays for Delmon Young who was a top rated prospect mainly because of his ability to berate homeless people and attack umpires. The Rays traded Matt Garza to the Cubs 4 years later... in return for Garza... The Ray received the top 17 prospects in the Cubs system.

 

5. Cow Poop -- Scientists in Michigan claim to have found a way to turn cow manure into clean water. The system produces 50 gallons of water from 100 gallons of manure. This is an actual recent progress report about solving draught problems around the world... It is not the set up of a joke. While you read it and become indignant... you can always put down the glass of water and get a glass of milk if that's better.

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Willihammer Cedar Rapids Kernels

Willihammer

Provisional Member
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Scientists in Michigan claim to have found a way to turn cow manure into clean water. The system produces 50 gallons of water from 100 gallons of manure

 

When the neighbors gives you lemons, make lemonade?

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jokin Wichita Wind Surge

jokin

Old-Timey Member
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http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/Wfos6KCzJdAamtTV5Xj70g--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTQxNztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz02MzA-/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/sports/2013-07-22/c3e37600-6ae1-4ec0-b6ba-84798edd8224_braun1-072213.jpg
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Gibby First Round Pick

Gibby

Provisional Member
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Julia, the Jeopardy champion for 20 straight games, lost.

 

Wow. $420-some thousand later, I think.

 

She'll never forget John Irving.

 

She missed a John Irving question? What was it Prayer for Owen Meany?

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Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

Community Leader
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I've been singing that blinking song for the last hour.

 

If you want to get a song out of your head, start singing the Hawaii 5-0 theme. Do that and it will go away, and the Hawaii 5-0 won't linger either.

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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
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That was a sympathy like.

 

When I was single... I tried one of those dating sites that tried to match you up with a date by similiar interests.

 

At first... They had a hard time finding another woman who liked to chase other women which was my primary interest. So... They expanded the questionnaire and after all my interests were calculated... They set me up with Jack Klugman.

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