Swarzak Attack (Twins 4 As 3 - Game 143)

You'd have a tough time coming up with a cooler success story for the Twins than the tale of Anthony Swarzak. Dude got injured rough-housing at Twins Fest and put himself out of commission for while. It seemed like one more reason to end up in Gardy's dog house, and an embarrassing way to escort yourself off of a major league roster.

Now it's September, and he's a success story. Maybe we should all start believing in the existence of the Sasquatch, huh?

Living on If and If I Tried (Twins 3 As 18 - Game 144)

What kind of a fan am I, anyway?

The Twins lost this game like a boxing match where the ref just wouldn't call the fight and skulls were caving in, and all I could muster was a shrug. I did show the score to my wife. She shrugged, too.

I believe, in my heart, that Good Fans exist. Good Fans watch every game with nothing but team pride in their hearts. When they see a blowout like this one, they just find a way to nod toward their golden retriever and sigh, "We'll get 'em next time, Duke."

Their dogs are always golden retrievers named Duke. They are also mostly retirees.

I, myself, am not such a Good Fan.

I Ain't No Good (Twins 2 As 8 - Game 145)

Not just another loss, but another stomping. I didn't have enough "I care" left in me for a real sigh this time.

I would feel a lot better if the Twins stopped blabbering about their new food truck.

If I were a Good Fan, I'd be excited at the green growth of new Twins who will be future stars - and believe me, it exists. But I'm not a Good Fan. I'm a Pissy Fan.

Every time the Twins social media mentions that new food truck, it feels like it's Christmas and Daddy Twins are playing with their new toys while the rest of us are opening up boxes of coal.

I love the Twins, but I won't love them forever just because they are the Twins. The world already has one Chicago Cubs. Why build another?