Joe Mauer’s DEVOTION regarding walking up to T.I.’s “What You Know?” is well-known and even generates some GOOD-NATURED RIBBING from the chaps who write baseball things.

Yet, has the STABLE SLUGGER hidden a message of PROFOUND SUPERNATURAL LORE within these words? Consider the following lyrics:

What you know about that?

What you know about that?

What you know about that?

Simple, upon first view. But simplicity can hide behind its cloaks GREAT COMPLEXITY, like the bounteous spread of dishes at your local PIZZA RANCH!

If you look closely, you will see each line of this selection contains both FIVE WORDS and SIX SYLLABLES! The odds of this happening by chance are ASTRONOMICAL! The odds off this happening for just two lines is rare enough we scream the magical word “JINX!” to ease our sense of interdimensional HORROR! THE DARK GODS THEN DEMAND A COKE!

The word “know,” the middle word of five, hints at a world we may imagine but will likely never visit. Is this the QUIET PLACE where the Mighty Mauer’s patience at the plate was born? Is he teasing us because we can never reach this zen ballpark?

WE MUST GO DEEPER!

Six of the fifteen words end with “at.” Is “that” where it’s “at?” The remaining two words, “you” and “about,” cannot be ignored. “About” has two syllabouts, whereas “you” only has what.

That adds up you what hell about a know take on this old song. You know what? About that. What, that? You know about! That about know you what.

You know about,

What That