Game Thread, Twins @ White Sox, 5/24 @ 1:10 pm CT

[formerly33]

Sunday 5/24, 1:10 PM CT at U.S. Cellular Field

TV: FS-N, MLBN; Radio: Go 96.3, TIBN, BOB FM (Sp.)

 

 

Weather:

 

A 20 percent chance of showers after 4pm. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 75. Southeast wind 10 to 15 mph, with gusts as high as 20 mph.

 

 

Line ups:

 

TWINS (24-18):

1. Dozier 2B

2. Robinsobn LF

3. Mauer 1B

4. Plouffe 3B

5. Hunter DH

6. Escobar SS

7. Hermann C

8. Rosario RF

9. Hicks CF

 

Kyle Gibson, RHP (3-3, 2.98 ERA)

 

 

WHITE SOX (19-21):

1. Adam Eaton CF

2. Melky Cabrera LF

3. Jose Abreu DH

4. Adam LaRoche 1B

5. Avisail Garcia RF

6. Conor Gillaspie 3B

7. Alexei Ramirez SS

8. Tyler Flowers C

9. Carlos Sanchez 2B

 

Jose Quintana, LHP (2-4, 4.13 ERA)

 

 

 

PREFACE

 

It is a little remarkable that - though disinclined to talk overmuch of myself and my affairs at the fireside, and to my personal friends - an autobiographical impulse should twice in my life have taken possession of me, in addressing the public. The first time was a little over a week since, when I favored the reader - inexcusably, and for no earthly reason that either the indulgent reader or the intrusive author could imagine - with a description of my past life in the deep quietude of a Game Thread. And now - because, beyond my deserts, I was happy enough to find a listener or two on the former occasion - I again seize the public by the button, and talk of my experience with my beloved Minnesota Twins.

 

Before I proceed, let me heartily commend those of you who recognize the source of this last paragraph without the kindly aid of our all-knowing friend Google. Also, let it be known that I will not be giving any sketch of a certain personage to whom I am supposed to cherish a peculiar malevolence, even though that is what the author of the source I mentioned proceeded to do after writing an introduction that is markedly similar to mine. And, as in the more famous instance which I am copying, the only remarkable feature of the said sketch would be its frank and genuine good humor and the general accuracy with which I would have conveyed my sincerest impressions of the character therein described.

 

However, unlike the author of this mystery source I am so fond of referencing to, I am aware that the public disapprobation would weigh heavily on me - and might I add that I would be most deserving of such regard? - so I will wisely refrain from giving any such sketch. And I might add that, though the popular opinion seems to tend towards the contrary, as to enmity, or ill feeling of any kind, personal or political, I hold none such feelings towards anyone who participates in these threads - and, not only that, I have the utmost respect for everybody on here and would not wish them or anyone else to think otherwise.

 

There is one thing which I must point out now before I forget. If my memory serves me correctly, the author of the source which I am so dutifully plagiarizing was a lone Democrat among countless "radically conservative Whigs." Here, I am just the opposite - or almost - but I have determined in my heart to remain absent from any future political discussions since my two cents only seem to cause general confusion and misunderstanding. However, I may join in occasionally during those periodical terrors more commonly referred to as presidential elections. But time will only tell; I make no promises at this point to stay out of or get into such discussions.

 

Furthermore, having already given countless hints as to what my source is, and having already issued a formal (though not necessarily called for) apology, I will now proceed to the aforementioned autobiography. I assure you that it is a faithful narrative of my dealings with the most wonderful invention in the wide, wide world of team sports - Baseball.

 

 

ONCE UPON A TIME

 

I used to hate baseball. Passionately. I was proud to be one of those intelligent few who realized what a waste of time and money sports were. Instead, I was a die-hard Minnesota Orchestra fan. I listened to every concert on Friday night with the rest of my siblings, and we knew every member (conductor, musicians - including at least half the subs, and yes, even the librarian) by name. My siblings and I collected countless CD's, and we had all the Beethoven symphonies with the Minnesota Orchestra, just to name a few.

 

I remember my 10th birthday very well; I got the last clothes for my American Girl dolls that I needed to complete my collection. Yes, most girls that age would have been delighted with that gift, but I was sulky since I wanted an Hélène Grimaud CD. For those who wonder, I got it the next year.

 

 

 

My role model was Hélène Grimaud. I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. My older sisters would take me to the library and we would watch videos of her playing the piano with the sound off. Perhaps it was a bizarre way of learning, but I think I can safely say that I learned. Then I would come home and practice the piano, and my sisters would tell me that I moved and made faces like her after watching the videos. That made me very happy.

 

We used to eagerly anticipate our mom's weekly visit to the grocery store, and the moment she would step out the door, the radio would be turned on with a favorite CD blaring so loud our neighbors had to have heard it just as well as we could hear the radio any other day when our mom was home.

 

But the very best thing of all was when the Minnesota Orchestra would give their Close-to-Home concerts at St. Andrew's Lutheran Church. While there were only two concerts a year, we thought about them constantly, and when I started dreaming about them at night, I knew that the time was close at hand. Usually they were nightmares, and something happened to prevent the concert, but luckily it always panned out just fine in real life. There were no nightmares in reality back then.

 

When the big day finally rolled around, we would leave anywhere upwards of an hour early to watch everyone arrive and set up for the concert; it was even exciting to see the librarian lay out the music. When the doors opened, we'd charge in as quickly as we could without disgracing ourselves, pausing only to hurriedly take a program each to add to our growing collections, and then hurry on down to claim the front row pew by the 2nd violins. (There were no seat numbers, just tickets.) It was so close that I could read the music over the violinists' shoulders.

 

At the concerts, we always looked with contempt at the people who would nab the musicians the moment the concert was over; that was rude. (It was even ruder to nab them during intermission, though.) So we were pretty happy when the musicians began coming up to us. There was something about us that made us pop out in a large crowd, I guess (even if that "something" meant sitting in the front row at every concert and getting into the music like only someone who truly loved it could - oh, and besides our parents, there were 7 of us, which must have helped at least a little). Before we knew it, one of our new-found friends in the orchestra was giving us free tickets to the concerts. That's when we finally got the opportunity to go to Orchestra Hall. As much as I would love to tell about that experience, too, I'm going to stop now since this is not what this thread is about, and I think I've almost written a book on this topic already. Hopefully at least one of you will appreciate the story, though. And if the rest of you got bored and quit, well, what's the use of trying to change your minds? You won't see this if that's the case.

 

Back to baseball (it's the best, isn't it? - or at least tied at first). In 2010 my parents decided that it was time to get a computer (well, yeah, we were raised in the Stone Age), and in April of 2011 my brothers and I discovered the ESPN widget in the dashboard, and we were like, “Why not?”

 

Please understand that the reason we hated sports was because we were under the influence of our peers (older siblings), but when the chance to break some rules came, the opportunity was too great to resist. That's us. That may even be the reason I started a Twins Daily account last year, and now look where it's taken us. I'm almost ready to believe that breaking rules is the right thing to do - but not yet. It'll take quite a bit more to convince me.

 

Therefore, intrigued by the minimal information available on our little dashboard widget, we started to follow baseball.

 

Now, I have to explain that we had listened to one season before, the 2006 season. My first encounter with the name Twins was admittedly an odd one. One evening I walked into my parents' bedroom, and the radio was tuned into a station that I'd never heard before. I wanted to know what they were listening to, and Bowsk turned around and gave me an impish grin (if you knew Bowsk, you'd know that grin).

 

"We're listening to the baseball game." (I instantly processed the mental image of the classic 1990's player with flow and mustache. We had a set of encyclopedias from the year I was born, and we liked to educate ourselves by reading them, even topics we knew nothing about, such as baseball.) "There's this whole team of baseball players, and they're playing these twin brothers," Bowsk continued. That caught at the strings of my heart. I could just see those twin brothers, fighting valiantly to win that game, whatever it looked like. No doubt they were handsome, and I also knew that baseball involved a bat and glove. And a baseball, of course. But my knowledge of the game ended there. However, I listened in awe to the rest of the game, not understanding a word of it, but happy when those twin brothers won. It was a triumphant moment.

 

Pretty soon I found out that Bowsk had lied to me. He still insists that he doesn't remember it, but it happened. And I still sometimes think of those twin brothers when I'm rooting for the Twins to win. I wonder if they were the M & M boys. I do miss half of them.

 

 

Unfortunately, that was before we had a computer, and it was so hard to get into a game that we didn't understand. Yes, we knew that we had a good team. Yes, we knew that home runs and strikeouts were good things, but we'd never seen baseball in our entire lives. We couldn't visualize it properly, so it's no wonder we didn't listen again in 2007. But I'm glad we listened that year. I vaguely remember being proud of Morneau - he was my favorite player then, and he's my favorite player still. And he will always hold a special place in my heart, even after retirement. Heavens, I love him.

 

It's hard to believe it, even still, but that offseason I broke up with my Twins - a decision that I now regret. I don't know how I managed to live through those long, dark years without them. I guess you could say that music saved me. But when the Minnesota Orchestra cut Close-to-Home concerts from their schedule, my family was plunged into the depths of despair. It seemed like there was nothing to look forward to anymore.

 

That is, until we truly got into baseball with a passion.

 

I suppose the first thing we had to ask ourselves was what team we should follow. We knew about a few (Yankees, Dodgers, Cardinals, etc. etc. Oh, and of course our Twins). Given the fact that the Twins were Minnesota’s team and we'd followed them 5 years previously, we knew we had to follow them. Loyalty has always been an important thing in my family.

 

The next question was, how do you know who won? We quickly came to the conclusion that we won the games that we were at the top of and our opponents won the…well, ditto. Anyway, please understand that this was the beginning of the 2011 season, so that was a happy thought indeed. If only we could have believed at the end of the season that we’d played .500 ball (winning all our away games and losing all our home games…wow!!). Luckily we were a little too smart to think that for long, and, little by little, we learned more and more until by the end of that season we were passionate baseball fans who listened to every game, defended our team whenever they came under criticism, called Minnesotans who rooted for other teams “Twins Snakes,” declared that, “To be an American, you gotta love baseball,” and…yeah, I’d say we were already reasonably intelligent when it came to conversing on that subject.

 

Remember Frankie’s no-no, Thome’s 600th? Historical year for us newbies. Revere’s so-called home run rob. John Gordan’s last year. I cried. Honestly. And I developed a massive crush on Ben Revere.

 

 

And, needless to say, I was back together with the Twins. This time for good. We got engaged that fall, and married...well, hold on. I have to explain that one in a little more detail.

 

My brothers. They’re great. If it wasn’t for them, we would never have gone to that first game 3 years ago. (Not to draw attention from myself or anything - I’m the one who did the convincing last time, and that, let me assure you, was a much harder task than the one the boys chose to take on themselves. But that's not today's story.) What they did was ask everyone they met if they were Twins fans. No for an answer, and you were a Twins Snake. Yes, and you found yourself talking more baseball in one moment than you had in your past ten years combined. Okay, okay, I exaggerated a little there, but you need to get the idea.

 

One notable Twins fan was our UPS man, Derek. Never did a more wonderful UPS man walk this earth! The boys voted him Best Delivery Man of the Century. He used to honk his horn every time he pulled up, and I got so sick of it I ended up telling my brothers that if he didn’t stop it he would probably lose his job. Shortly thereafter I had the honor of hearing my youngest brother (then a new 7-year-old), in the most innocent and serious of tones, “You need to stop honking your horn so you don’t lose your job, and we don’t want that to happen to you since you’re the best UPS man ever.” I think it made the man’s day. And, not unexpectedly, he continued to honk his horn.

 

Back to the original point: they (Derek and the boys) LOVED to talk baseball. One day Derek told the boys that he was going to the Twins-Blue Jays game. That was one of the few games my non-baseball fan members of the family rooted for. He ended up leaving early, and my brothers were righteously offended since the Twins went on to win big time. You can probably find the date. It would be sometime in May of 2012. Anyway, they rebuked him soundly. He wanted to know whether they’d ever been to a game, and they told him the sad truth. Shortly after that (May 24th, 2012 - 3 years ago to this very day), he pulled up to our house and rang the doorbell. My mom was surprised since we weren’t expecting a package, and she went down to see what was the matter. He grinned and held out his hand…and you wouldn’t believe the gem it held. With a dramatic gesture, he fanned out 8 tickets to the Twins game on Monday. The rest is history. (Never was that phrase more aptly used in context.)

 

So, on Memorial Day, May 28th, 2012, we stepped inside the most beautiful stadium in the world. I couldn't believe my eyes. Sure, I knew the dimensions of the field and everything, and I recognized it from watching recaps, but this...this was HUGE!

 

That day, I married my Twins. I solemnly vowed in the presence of God, my family, and 34,702 other fans that they would be my love from that day onward. I vowed that I would be faithful to them, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promised to love them unconditionally, to support them in their goals, to honor and respect them, to laugh with them and to cry with them, and to cherish them for as long as we both should live.

 

So far, I've kept that promise. To be sure, there have been some pretty rocky times, but that's to be expected in any marriage. I've only heard of "happily ever after" in fairy tales, but this is real life. People tell me (or at least insinuate) that it would be quite as reasonable to form a sentimental attachment to a disarranged checkerboard, but I don't believe it. These are living, breathing humans who deserve fans as much as anybody else out there - and might I add that they're much more lovable than the White Sox? And, for those who wonder, I intend this marriage to last.

 

THE END

 

 

APPENDIX

 

Most long books have some sort of concluding afterward, and while they're usually long and boring, I'll keep mine short and sweet to make up for lost time before. I just want to say that while I can't believe that anyone would bother to read all the way down to here, I give my sincerest congratulations to that distinguished person who does possess the patience to labor through this with me and happens to be reading this last bit right now. You are very patient.

[Craig Arko]

I hope the sequel proves as successful for you. This life thingie; it takes so many unexpected steps off the path.

 

Meanwhile, back off the ranch,

 

http://www.astronomy.com/news/2015/05/nasas-wise-spacecraft-discovers-most-luminous-galaxy-in-universe

[Hrbowski]

I don't know if that story was ish or ick, but I do know that it was gross. I guess I'm going to provide a commentary on her autobiography, and here we go. In the fall of 2012, which was election time, she had a sign in her front yard that said "1 girl, and 25 ball players," and she thinks that fits the definition of marriage, but it certainly doesn't, but if it does her spouse is an absolute loser, and years from now when the debate about polygamous marriage is going on, and I am running for office and opposing it, but if I am asked if I have ever attended one, I will be able to say, "Yes, but I did not bring a gift," and then people who are for it will think that I was a jerk. And on another note, this game thread has been TOO long.

P.S.

The honeymoon ended on August 31st, 2013.

[formerly33]

I hope the sequel proves as successful for you. This life thingie; it takes so many unexpected steps off the path.

Meanwhile, back off the ranch,

http://www.astronomy.com/news/2015/05/nasas-wise-spacecraft-discovers-most-luminous-galaxy-in-universe

You mean you actually read the whole thing?! Inconceivable! I want to give you a high five!

[formerly33]

And on another note, this game thread has been TOO long.

I know. I disgust myself.

[Halsey Hall]

Maybe, maybe not.  But I'm patient. 

[twinsnorth49]

TLAD.

[Squirrel]

I think we can pull this one out ... if Gibson keeps rolling as he has been. We can hit Quintana ... if our bats start rocking again.  But it's not looking good here weather-wise. Very overcast, cool-ish but not too cold. As reported above, at game time it's only 20% chance of rain, but it moves up to 60% by 3 'o clock. As long as the rain stays away, or is only light, it's not bad for being out there watching.

[Halsey Hall]

Since we can't score after the 3rd inning, best get on the board early and then pray for rain. 

[formerly33]

I'll give you 3 things to think about now:

 

1. I'll never write such a long OP again. Ever.

 

2. Here are some interesting statistics concerning this OP:

 

Details:
Words - 3089
Characters - 16731
Characters (no spaces) - 13630
Sentences - 178
Avg. Sentence (words) - 18
Avg. Sentence (chars) - 94
Paragraphs - 78
Reading Level - 11-12th Grade

Keyword Density:
the - 149 (5%)
to - 115 (4%)
and - 90 (3%)
that - 73 (3%)
of - 63 (2%)
we - 50 (2%)
my - 44 (2%)
was - 44 (2%)
in - 40 (1%)
it - 33 (1%)

 

3. I'll won't reference this OP again unless someone else brings it up. We've all had enough, right?

[Squirrel]

Today's vantage point. And we're under an overhang in case of rain.

[JB_Iowa]

 

Today's vantage point. And we're under an overhang in case of rain.image.jpg

 

Nice view!

 

I thought it was already 1 p.m. and I turned to FSN expecting to see the pregame.....duh.

[Squirrel]

Seeing lots of Twins shirts out in the crowd. If I had some small placards advertising TD I'd hand them out. But I'm pretty sure such activities at a stadium is prohibited.

[spinowner]

Today's vantage point. And we're under an overhang in case of rain.

[formerly33]

 

Seeing lots of Twins shirts out in the crowd. If I had some small placards advertising TD I'd hand them out. But I'm pretty sure such activities at a stadium is prohibited.

Do it after the game. It's seems like it's impossible to go to/leave a game without having someone shove something in your hand...not that I've been to too many...but you'll be loved for it. Are there TD shirts/hats on the market?

[formerly33]

 

Today's vantage point. And we're under an overhang in case of rain. image.jpg

You turn your camera to the right and ChiTown can turn her camera to the left (am I right?), and we'll see what you look like and what kinds of phones you have.

[Squirrel]

I said 'if'. Although on the train here could do it, too.

[twinsnorth49]

I'll give you 3 things to think about now:

 

1. I'll never write such a long OP again. Ever.

 

2. Here are some interesting statistics concerning this OP:

 

Details:

Words - 3089

Characters - 16731

Characters (no spaces) - 13630

Sentences - 178

Avg. Sentence (words) - 18

Avg. Sentence (chars) - 94

Paragraphs - 78

Reading Level - 11-12th Grade

Keyword Density:

the - 149 (5%)

to - 115 (4%)

and - 90 (3%)

that - 73 (3%)

of - 63 (2%)

we - 50 (2%)

my - 44 (2%)

was - 44 (2%)

in - 40 (1%)

it - 33 (1%)

 

3. I'll won't reference this OP again unless someone else brings it up. We've all had enough, right?

Ok everybody.....Shhhhhh.

[Squirrel]

You turn your camera to the right and ChiTown can turn her camera to the left (am I right?), and we'll see what you look like and what kinds of phones you have.

No

[sampleSizeOfOne]

I know. I disgust myself.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey-now. Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."

 

(i leave it for someone to name the reference, hopefully sans google)

 

Anyway, i'll take time to read it, but am doin' stuff so not really keepin' up with the thread 'til game time.

 

Mad props to anything autobiographical. I think that element is what gives game threads their real charm.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

 

 

Today's vantage point. And we're under an overhang in case of rain.image.jpg

Enjoy the first hand view o' the game!

 

(and same to you spinowner)

[Squirrel]

Under an overhang also means directly under a speaker.

 

What? WHAT?

[formerly33]

Look who else is at the game besides Spin and ChiTown (I'm not sure if they're running mates or opposing candidates, but either way, they have one thing in common):

 

[formerly33]

DOZIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Craig Arko]

Mr. Dozier.

[Hrbowski]

STRETCH...STRETCH!!!! YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD!!!! YEESSSS!!!

[JB_Iowa]

Great way to start, Brian Dozier!

[GCTF]

Can't score any earlier than that.

[formerly33]

 

Can't score any earlier than that.

Yes you can. One pitch earlier. But we like to get the pitch count up; kind of a cat-and-mouse sort of a game. You know.

[Hrbowski]

 

Look who else is at the game besides Spin and ChiTown (I'm not sure if they're running mates or opposing candidates, but either way, they have one thing in common):

 

scott&hillaryfor2016 (2).png

That was great.