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As we tip toe to July, we know that inevitably Twins fans will start to imagine all manner of favorable scenarios, dream sequences and wishful thinking that leads the GM Terry Ryan to make all the right moves and deliver a winner to Target Field. We Peanuts from Heaven are nothing if not imaginative, but rather than prognosticate any remotely feasible trade scenarios, allow us to write another in our on-going series of creative scenes played against a backdrop of the Twins 2015 season (apologies if you find these scenes tedious...it's what you get from a blogger who's a wannabe playwright/novelist). [Interior: Terry Ryan's office, as the sun sets on a fine June day with Target Field sprinklers running in the background] Secretary: Mr. Ryan? Flip Saunders is here to see you. Terry: Thank you. [Flip Saunders enters, Terry's joy bubbles in his voice, like an impressed grandfather] Flip! Old buddy, ol' pal, how are you! Flip: Uhh...I'm fine Terry, fine...How are you? Terry: Pretty good, pretty good! I saw you had a great night during the draft! Flip: Yeah, we're pretty happy about it. Terry: Wooowhee! Karl Anthony-Towns and Tyus Jones! Well, I tell you, every one here's just as pleased as punch. Very excited, very excited indeed. http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/f5165edfa19bcf273643df7b3770f5690bca06dd/r=x404&c=534x401/http/cdn.tegna-tv.com/-mm-/8f34608b555ec32dd768545f79953f0d1ac02edc/c=1-0-1022-768/local/-/media/2015/06/26/KARE/KARE/635709175776399451-Jones-and-Towns-skyway.jpg Flip: Thank you Terry. Terry: Yes, siree-Bob, you're a smart man Flip. And you sure seem to have a way with those fellows from Cleveland. Yup, it's almost like magic... Flip: Uhh...well, you know how it is Terry, you hang around this business long enough, you build certain relationshi-- Terry: [Cutting Saunders off, Terry now sounds terse and demanding, a hard nosed boss at last] Can the bull Flippy-boy! What do you have on Cleveland? How do you get them to make these asinine trades? Flip: What? Terry: Don't play dumb. I've been in this business since before you first sniffed a speed dial. You've got some sort of pull on Cleveland, and I want to know what it is! Flip: Terry, I assure you, I-- Terry: "Assure me", what an "Ass-U-Are" Flip! I want details and I want them now. Flip: [Sighs, defeated] Alright, alright, I'll tell you. The magic word is Cumquat. Terry: Cumquat? Flip: Yeah, Cumquat. See, at the last GM meetings, I took David Griffin to see this hypnotist, The Great Gaspini. Anyway, I slipped the guy a fiver and he gave Griffin a private session. Anyway, in between making him cluck like a chicken and memorize the entire dance to Single Ladies, he implanted the idea that any time he heard the word "Minnesota" followed by "Cumquat" he would agree with whatever someone was saying. http://41.media.tumblr.com/b8b5aaf726b2dde7e721ac7d51429884/tumblr_ml0cy7n6DQ1qfyo3so2_1280.jpg Terry: So that's how you got Wiggins, Bennett and Jones for 1 Season of crappy Kevin Love and a pair of second rounders? Flip: To be fair...yes...yes it was...I guess I am a genius. Terry: Brilliant, brilliant! So I just need to get this Gaspini-guy to do the same thing for me with Shapiro and Antonetti! Flip: Actually...well...what with this whole West Loop partnership thing we've got going on these days, Glen Taylor, Bill McGuire and the Pohlad boys paid for Gaspini to pull the same thing over on the Indians and AFC Cleveland. Terry: Not the Browns? Flip: Pssh...c'mon Terry, they're the Browns, they'll screw themselves anyway. Plus, this is a West Loop deal, so Ziggy can lump it for all I care. Terry: Hehe, yeah, West Loop Pride. [Calls into the hallway] Dorothy! Get me Chris Antonetti on the line! [Pause] They've got soccer in Cleveland? Flip: I'm as surprised as you are. Secretary: Antonetti on line one! Terry: Just say Minnesota first and then Cumquat? [Flip nods, Terry picks up the phone] Chris, my-boy! How are you?! Terry Ryan here in...Minnesota! Listen, we've got a bit of a pitching log jam here, so I'm thinking it might be time to make a trade: how about you guys take Ricky Nolasco and his contract and we take that short stop of yours, Francisco Lindor?[Pause] Oh, don't be so quick to count me out Chris, after all, Nolasco's no...cumquat!...[Pause] Yeah, I thought you might reconsider. Tell you what, I'm feeling generous today, so if you toss in Trevor Bauer, I'll send you Mike Pelfry and Shane Robinson, how about that....? [Scene]

Many of you may be looking at the Twins roster for opening day and wondering: "where the hell are the prospects?" Sure, we've been told again and again that we're about to get a huge influx of talent. And sure, we've been told that the children are our future. But the young players coming north: Danny Santana, Kennys Vargas, Oswaldo Arcia, Kyle Gibson...we've seen them all before...and the people we haven't seen: Blaine Boyer? Kurt Suzuki? Tim Stauffer? Are not the world changing prospects we've been asked to bank on. So, you may be a little frustrated. I'm a little frustrated. Until I realized that this is all part of Terry Ryan's Secret Plan. We at Peanuts from Heaven have found a secret ad written, directed and produced by Terry Ryan. What follows is a transcript of that ad. TWINS SECRET COMMERCIAL http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sHUQsYurfT8/VRsVnQZM0oI/AAAAAAAADHA/325H98WUK7c/s1600/SaneTerry.jpg [Ext. Day, Terry Ryan, wearing a completely respectable suit is walking toward the camera from Right Field] SANE TERRY. Hi. I'm Sane Terry, from Sane Terry's House of Fiscally Viable Veterans here with totally reasonable deals on all your veteran baseball player needs. [Cut to. Int. Twins Clubhouse, Sane Terry walks past empty lockers] SANE TERRY. For years, the Minnesota Twins have been giving the aging and seemingly ineffective baseball players of America a chance to hit rock bottom. Once they do that, they are ripe for the picking...your picking. [Cut to. Close Up, Terry Ryan turned to face new camera] SANE TERRY. Are you a team with six valid starting pitchers? Why not trade for one of our many rotation candidates as insurance in case of injury, theft, or spontaneous combustion? [Cut to. Opposite angle Terry Ryan turned to face new camera] SANE TERRY. Are you a team who wishes their young players could learn from a cautionary example? Why not trade for one of our jaded-former-prospects whose shattered dreams has left them a shell of their former selves? [Cut to. Original Angle Terry Ryan turned to face new camera] SANE TERRY. You can get all your valuable veterans for low, low prices. Just ask these satisfied customers. [Cut to Neal Huntington smiling in front of PNC Park in Pittsburgh] HUNTINGTON. Our team used to be a joke, but once we just started picking Terry's discarded pitchers off the scrap heap, we had all the support we could ever need! [Cut to Buck Showalter at the dugout railing of Camden Yards] SHOWALTER. If someone has "former-Twin" on their resume, you can bet that they'll be a below-average starter, but an irrationally great resource for your post season run! Thanks to Sane Terry, I might not be fired right before my team wins the World Series! [Cut to Sane Terry reclining in his office at Target Field, the camera takes in a view of the field] SANE TERRY. We know you can get brand new ballplayers from many sources. But Crazy Billy's Coliseum of Deals always seems to have ulterior motives, and the next Miami Marlins Fire Sale isn't scheduled until November 2016, so why not come on down to Sane Terry's House of Fiscally Viable Veterans and see what we have on offer? [Cut to, reverse Angle, the camera takes in a view of the hallway] SANE TERRY. You don't have to give up the farm, just a young kid with upside, or downside, or cash...we like cash. And we like to give these veteran ball players a new lease on life. That's why we'll always have them on the roster, and always have them available, because that's what made us successful all these years. ANONYMOUS INTERN [While walking by Terry's door]. Huh? What do you mean? We haven't been successful. And the older players rarely if ever help us. And when we trade them we almost never get anything of value. SANE TERRY. Well, you know what they say, "the definition of sanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result." ANONYMOUS INTERN. Actually I think that's the definition of insanity. SANE TERRY. Ha. Ha. If that were true, I would be Crazy Terry...and I am clearly Sane Terry. It says so on this ad. ANONYMOUS INTERN. What ad? And who are you talking to? SANE TERRY. Sane Terry's House of Fiscally Viable Veterans. Call now and get Mike Pelfry right before he finalizes his deal with the devil for one more good season. [Fin.]

The primary drama for the Twins-Phillies game on Monday surrounded Twins starting pitcher Mike Pelfrey looking to stake his claim on the last spot in the Twins rotation. The Phillies did their part to make the litmus test feel real. Their lineup featured Ben Revere, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Carlos Ruiz in the top five spots. So how did Pelfrey do?He was "OK." He described it as such. He didn't dominate (only two strikeouts amid seven hits and two walks in 4.2 IP) but also didn't give up many runs (only two, and only one was earned). His control wasn't terrible, but it also wasn't stellar. He was hurt by his defense. (Eduardo Nunez had and error and a couple he probably could have fielded.) He was also helped by it. (Eduardo Escobar and Reynaldo Rodriguez both made wonderful plays, and Escobar's probably saved more runs.) In short, it wasn't the dominant game he probably wanted to lay sole claim to the job of fifth starter with, nor was it a step backwards. Both he and Twins Manager Paul Molitor said he "battled" and that's about right. When asked about the competition for fifth starter, Pelfrey deferred and talked about how he's just happy to feel healthy. "I feel good. In 2013, I came back from Tommy John in eleven months for opening day. Maybe it was too early," said Pelfrey. "Last year, it faded off pretty quick. But I feel good again. I expect good things to happen - to be successful - when I feel good. At the end of they day, as long as I feel good, no matter what happens, so be it." So this was not a knockout. Instead, it looks like we're going to have at least one more round as Molitor said after the game that both pitchers competing against Pelfrey, Tommy Milone and Trevor Mays, will get another start this week. It is not clear if both would start on the same day - both of them should have their next turn on Thursday. If that happens, one would need to start in one of the minor league games. But the Twins could bump one of them back a day to Friday - the day that Phil Hughes is scheduled to pitch - and have Hughes throw to minor leaguers instead. Whatever the decision, Molitor doesn't seem to be overly worried that he isn't going to be stuck with someone who isn't prepared. He finished his postgame talk by saying "I like my options." Escobar's Day Last night I wrote that we should trust Eduardo Escobar's bat more than we do, so today he struck out in his first three at-bats. He had only struck out twice over 32 at-bats in spring training prior to today. However, he made two very good defensive plays at third base. In the first inning, he started a double play that Molitor talked about at length, praising Escobar's patience. "On the first double play, we try to preach a lot: don't let the speed of the ball speed you up," reflected Molitor. "That was a play with a left-hand hitter, where the double play wasn't there yet. A lot of time, that guy catches that ball and turns and fires and there's nobody there yet, but he let the play kind of develop, and it made it close at first [base], but that was the right way to go about it." Then, in the second inning, following a two-run home run, the Phillies got runners on the corners with only one out. Ben Revere hit a hot grounder down the third base line where Escobar was playing inside the bag, but he ranged to the line, speared it, and caught the runner off base after an efficient run down. Pelfrey's outing might have looked a lot worse if not for that play. By the way, Molitor also had Escobar play a little in the outfield in the late innings today. He did not get a chance to field a fly ball. "A Real Fine Play" Escobar's play was topped the next innings when Twins first baseman Reynaldo Rodriguez dove and speared a hot grounder by Chase Utley, turning it into a leadoff out. When Reynaldo came up to bat at the top of the next frame, there was a memorable scene. One of the beer vendors at the Phillies park has a resonating voice that you can hear throughout the park. When Reynaldo was batting, the vendor happened to be working the aisle right behind home plate and had made it all the way to the bottom, right next to the netting. Midway between yelling "Water! Soda! Beer!" he looked up, saw Rodriguez and boomed "That was a REAL FINE PLAY at first base. JUST GREAT." Not only did Rodriguez hear him - he was only about 10 yards away - but I bet Aaron Hicks heard him in center field. Hell, Eddie Rosario might have heard him, and he didn't make the trip to Clearwater. Rodriguez just looked around as if thinking "Am I not in the middle of an at-bat here?" One More Defensive Play As Pelfrey was battling, trying to get through the fifth inning, the leadoff hitter laid down a successful bunt single. Suddenly, a tiring Pelfrey was faced with a speedster on first and Utley, Howard and Ruiz coming up to bat. Utley laced a line drive to deep right-center field but (at least from my angle behind home plate) it looked like Hicks got a great jump on the ball and raced it down. I asked Molitor about it after the game and Molitor thought he might have started to turn the wrong way but caught up to it. "We all know he can play the position out there." Center Field Battle Hicks started in center field, made that catch, but went 0-2 with a strikeout. He was facing a right-hander. Shane Robinson also made the trip and started in right field. He went 1-3 but also drew a walk. Before the game, I asked Twins general manager Terry Ryan if the Twins felt that Rosario or Hicks would need to play every day to make the 25-man roster. "You could give it some thought with Hicks," replied Ryan, "but I don't see falling into that situation at all. If he's going to be on this team, he's going to have to be a player." I got the sense the Twins are resistant to that idea for Hicks and dead set against it with Rosario. Boyer Continues To Roll Blaine Boyer relieved Pelfrey and continued his streak of strong pitching. He got through 1.1 innings on 14 pitches, and Molitor wanted to bring him back for one more inning, so Boyer had to bat in the National League park. It was not a comfortable moment. "I was just saying 'Don't get hurt. Don't get hurt,'" grinned Molitor. He didn't, by the way. He grounded out. Boyer is an interesting dark horse candidate to make the bullpen. The 33-year-old right-hander retired from baseball in 2012 but then went to play in Japan in 2013 and came back to play with the Padres last year. He's on a minor league deal. He hasn't posted impressive strikeout numbers - just 6.9 K/9 last year in San Diego - but was very effective with only 8 walks in 40.1 innings and a 1.04 WHIP (walks + hits divided by innings pitched). For reference, the only Twins pitchers that matched that WHIP were ... nobody. Not Phil Hughes. Not Glen Perkins. Nobody. Click here to view the article