HowStellasGotHerGleeBack

It was a quiet Wednesday night at the downtown Cowboy Jack's. Dispersed throughout the bar were a few groups of regulars, and the low hum of country music was only occasionally disrupted by roars from the Twins game occurring down the street. In one particular dim-lit corner sat Seth Stohs and Nick Nelson. Seth plunged a straw into his vodka cranberry as Nick leaned back, nursing his frosted pint of Miller Lite. The two had now sat there for three hours, but neither had spoken a word.
 
"Well, what are we going to do? We can't just let Patrick Reusse run roughshod over our beloved team like this."
 
Nick stared back at his old friend and contemplated the question in silence. He was frozen both by the complexity of the situation and by the fear that a bar patron might recognize him from his ESPN-affiliated glory days.
 
"I really don't know, Seth. Nick's Twins Daily is growing, but we don't even come close to matching the readership of the Star Tribune."
 
"TWINS Daily, Nick. You really need to get over that. It's hubris like this that will prevent us from ever challenging Reusse's reign."
 
Just as Nick was about to angrily retort, a blinding white light came in from the doorway, catching the two bloggers off-guard. Nick and Seth both shielded their eyes, unable to fully behold the magnificence before them. Silhouetted by the white light was a tall, broad-shouldered, bearded man riding a mechanical bull. The mysterious figure adjusted his glasses and wiped a trail of duck sauce from his chin. Rubbing their eyes in recovery from the initial flash, Nick and Seth slowly realized who stood before them. It was none other than legendary Twins blogger Aaron Gleeman.
 
"G-Gleeman," stammered Nick. "You came!"
 
"Yes, child. I finished brunch early today."
 
"But you never leave Stella's!"
 
"Drastic times call for drastic measures. Tell me, have you and Seth come up with any solutions yet?"
 
Nick and Seth both looked at their feet in an attempt to avoid the piercing glare of the Gleeman. Three hours of meeting and they still had nothing.
 
"No, we haven't," replied Seth, with a hint of shame. "Did you bring the Geek? We could really use his wise insights right now."
 
Gleeman stroked his stubbly beard, relishing the odors of Chinese cuisine that it still contained. "I did not, but tell me," he inquired. "All of our problems stem from Patrick Reusse, no?"
 
"Yeah!" exclaimed Nick. "He ignored the contributions of J.J. Hardy!"
 
"Exactly!" shouted Seth. "He tossed the entire farm system under the bus!"
 
"Then it's simple," uttered Gleeman, with a maniacally twisted grin on his face. "We kill the Pat-man."