mchokozie

Hang with the Majors is an event put on by the Minnesota Twins Wives Organization to benefit the Military Family Foundation. Fans can pay to have dinner with players and later the event opens to the public for player bartending, autographs, photos and auctions. So, I jokingly tweeted before the event that because I no longer recognize anyone, I was just going to approach any tall muscular men I saw at Toby Keith’s and assume they were with the Twins. This joke ended up basically being reality. There were a lot of jeans and plaid, button down shirt wearing men (I’m pretty sure Josh Willingham was the wardrobe coordinator) behind the bar that were obviously somebodies but I was at a loss. Thankfully, my friend Cindy pulled out her Twins yearbook so we could discreetly compare their faces to the photos in the yearbook. We drew the line at asking them to pretend to throw a baseball so we could better identify their pitching faces. I decided to purchase a small wooden bat to have players sign. Last year I bought a picture of baseballs and ended up asking Anthony Swarzak to “sign my balls.” That was an awkward moment. This year one of my friends thought of inappropriate things I could say while handing my bat to players and, although I’m a super immature person, I managed to hold back. The players were so ridiculously nice that I’m kind of glad that for once I didn’t make things more embarrassing than they needed to be. All the athletes and their wives were genuinely appreciative of the fan support and were quick to make sure everyone was having a good time. The stand-outs were Brian Dozier and Glen Perkins, who both stuck around and carried on real conversations with us beyond what is expected at a player appearance. Glen even joked about the game where he was pitching with his fly down and told us how embarrassed he was about it. He was just as funny and sarcastic as you would expect from his twitter account. Dozier was a total Southern Gentleman, and was the first to notice that we were sitting there without drinks. He definitely gained new fans that night. The guys had just come off of their series loss to the Royals, and although they were clearly having a good time, I didn’t get the sense that they were OK with losing. A drunk guy approached Kyle Gibson, and once he finally realized he was a Twins player, which was hilarious, told him “you guys need to start winning!” Kyle responded with passion “We’re not trying to lose!” which, duh. It was good to see there still is some heart left on the team. Overall, Hang with the Majors was another huge success. The Twins Wives Organization always does an amazing job of creating an experience that’s fun and available to all. My roommate and I were able to get Morneau and Willingham autographs for $5 apiece. How often can you say that? The auctions also raised a large amount of money with big ticket items, like game suites and autographed baseballs and guitars. Even though this baseball season has more often been painful than not, I think the Twins are one of the best professional sports organizations in keeping players accessiblle. Can’t wait until next year! Download attachment: IMG_1978.jpg Click here to view the article

There’s often discussion about clubhouse chemistry and the effect on a team’s performance, but let’s take that one step further and talk about bromances. Although, realistically, the presence of a close male pair has nothing to do with a team’s win/loss record, they can provide moments of delight in both winning and losing seasons. Join me now as I look back on the bromances of Twins yore. Joe Mauer/Justin Morneau: Duhhhh. Joe and Justin are the quintessential Twins Bromance: One, a mild mannered hometown boy with the personality of a glass of lukewarm Kemps skim milk, the other a rebellious Canadian with a love for AC/DC. Several years ago, the two were roommates and Sports Illustrated even wrote a profile about it, which, if for some reason you haven’t read, stop everything and read it. Now. (Twins sluggers Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau share a - 09.25.06 - SI Vault) Pictures (Cribs: Joe Mauer & Justin Morneau - Photos - SI.com) Seriously, so many good moments: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the vending machine that dispensed Miller Light and "root beer for Joe.” THE PICTURES. I don’t care if you’re a burly hetero dude, this stuff is adorable. Of course wives and children came along and the roommates had to split up years ago, but the friendship lives on. I’m pretty sure any trade offers that have come along for Morneau have been personally vetoed by Joe himself. Denard Span/Ben Revere: Ben and Denard, or “Benard” as I just decided to call them, were the traditional big brother/little brother bromance model. It was clear how much Ben looked up to Denard, the slightly older veteran who played the same position as him, and was just a little bit cooler. And I mean, their twitter conversations were legendary. Download attachment: Benard.PNG We agree, Trevor, we agree. Kevin Slowey/Glen Perkins: It’s not cool to like Slowey anymore, but this is the guy that hugged every Twins pitcher when they came off the mound, and danced with R.A. Dickey’s kids in the outfield during postgame concerts. He brought a lot to the adorableness table. And he and Glen Perkins were super besties and possibly still are. Whenever one was asked about their favorite teammate, they’d always say the other. Perkins was a groomsman in Kevin’s wedding this past offseason, so here’s hoping the bromance is still going strong. In that same era, we can’t forget Matt Guerrier/Jesse Crain the pitching pair who boasted of “holding hands as they walked out to the dugout” during the division clinching celebration in 2010. And there was also Carlos Gomez/Alexi Casilla who had more personality and energy than the rest of the Twins dugout combined. So where are the current Twins Bromances now? Do Andrew Albers and Chris Herrmann secretly have sleepovers every weekend? Do Brian Dozier and Chris Colabello play Monopoly on the bus on the way to the game? Or have the Twins become a team devoid of these relationships and this is the reason for their demise? Ok, no, but as I’m always on the lookout for anything quirky and amusing to add spice to the season, I think it’s time for some modern Twins Bromances to make themselves known. Click here to view the article

I care a lot about the Twins giveaways, I’m not even sure why. I think the stupid, pointless, but fun things are a part of what make the game of baseball so loveable. (See also: mascots, walkup music, and special handshakes. Not the wave, don’t be dumb.) While the Twins are pretty good about having a handful of decent giveaways each year, there are always some duds thrown in there. Download attachment: minnesota-twins-garden-gnome.jpg For example, on the 16th of August, the Twins will have an “aviator sunglasses and shell necklace” giveaway. This idea is terrible. Us women look at the combination of these items as a sign of who to avoid. If the whole ballpark is wearing them it throws everything off. No one is safe anymore. The team also did the usual DQ cap giveaway, the fishing lure, and the poster schedule, among other things. These are fine and I understand the tradition of giving these things away every year, but the Twins could do well to be a little more creative. With how they’ve been playing lately they’ve got to try harder to get the people in the park. I humbly submit the following ideas. PLUSH A few years ago the Twins gave away a plush Joe Mauer to fans 14 and under. Obviously, it was adorable. I think it’s time to bring the plush baseball players back. We have a lot of cuddly options on the team right now. There’s Doumit and his fuzzy red beard. They could do Dozier complete with flowing locks ready to be whipped to and fro. Or, I’ve got it! Plush Glen Perkins with working zipper! Wait, no, that one is terrible. And enough of this 14 and under nonsense, it gets exhausting kidnapping a child or walking on your knees every time. FILL IN THE BLANKS Of course, being as the Twins consistently have a merry go round of players going up and down from the minor leagues, it might be best to just avoid any player specific items. Maybe have a blank bobble head with a marker provided to draw on the face and name of whichever player is up that week. DISGUISES Instead of the aviators and shell necklaces they could give out those eyeglass and mustache combinations so you can successfully disguise yourself when the Twins fumble another routine play. Plus a crowd of people wearing funny glasses would just be hilarious. Could really boost fan morale. GNOMES Finally, my most obvious suggestion: How have the Twins not had a gnome giveaway? The Twins manager is a human embodiment of a lawn gnome! I’m pretty sure if he put on a pointed hat and sat outside in someone’s yard, no one would bat an eye. The Giants (and many other teams) have given away gnome versions of several of their players the last few years. And although the Tim Lincecum version (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH - McCovey Chronicles) has probably given multiple children nightmares, the idea is still pretty great. The Twins did in fact make a Gardenhire gnome that was sold at the Proshop, but I really think Twins fans deserve to be given one. We’ve earned it after all we’ve been through. The ball is in your court, Twins Organization. I will be eagerly waiting by my computer for the inevitable email from your promotional department begging for my assistance. Click here to view the article

I care a lot about the Twins giveaways, I’m not even sure why. I think the stupid, pointless, but fun things are a part of what make the game of baseball so loveable – see also mascots, walkup music, and special handshakes (Not the wave, don’t be dumb.) While the Twins are pretty good about having a handful of decent giveaways each year, there are always some duds thrown in there. For example, on the 16th of August, the Twins will have an “aviator sunglasses and shell necklace” giveaway. This idea is terrible. Us women look at the combination of these items as a sign of who to avoid. If the whole ballpark is wearing them it throws everything off. No one is safe anymore. The team also did the usual DQ cap giveaway, the fishing lure, and the poster schedule, among other things. These are fine and I understand the tradition of giving these things away every year, but the Twins could do well to be a little more creative. With how they’ve been playing lately they’ve got to try harder to get the people in the park. I humbly submit the following ideas. PLUSH A few years ago the Twins gave away a plush Joe Mauer to fans 14 and under. Obviously, it was adorable. I think it’s time to bring the plush baseball players back. We have a lot of cuddly options on the team right now. There’s Doumit and his fuzzy red beard. They could do Dozier complete with flowing locks ready to be whipped to and fro. Or, I’ve got it! Plush Glen Perkins with working zipper! Wait, no, that one is terrible. And enough of this 14 and under nonsense, it gets exhausting kidnapping a child or walking on your knees every time. FILL IN THE BLANKS Of course, being as the Twins consistently have a merry go round of players going up and down from the minor leagues, it might be best to just avoid any player specific items. Maybe have a blank bobble head with a marker provided to draw on the face and name of whichever player is up that week. DISGUISES Instead of the aviators and shell necklaces they could give out those eyeglass and mustache combinations so you can successfully disguise yourself when the Twins fumble another routine play. Plus a crowd of people wearing funny glasses would just be hilarious. Could really boost fan morale. GNOMES Finally, my most obvious suggestion: How have the Twins not had a gnome giveaway? The Twins manager is a human embodiment of a lawn gnome! I’m pretty sure if he put on a pointed hat and sat outside in someone’s yard, no one would bat an eye. The Giants (and many other teams) have given away gnome versions of several of their players the last few years. And although the Tim Lincecum version (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH - McCovey Chronicles) has probably given multiple children nightmares, the idea is still pretty great. The Twins did in fact make a Gardenhire gnome that was sold at the proshop, but I really think Twins fans deserve to be given one. We’ve earned it after all we’ve been through. The ball is in your court, Twins Organization. I will be eagerly waiting by my computer for the inevitable email from your promotional department begging for my assistance.

I care a lot about the Twins giveaways, I’m not even sure why. I think the stupid, pointless, but fun things are a part of what make the game of baseball so loveable – see also mascots, walkup music, and special handshakes (Not the wave, don’t be dumb.) While the Twins are pretty good about having a handful of decent giveaways each year, there are always some duds thrown in there. For example, on the 16th of August, the Twins will have an “aviator sunglasses and shell necklace” giveaway. This idea is terrible. Us women look at the combination of these items as a sign of who to avoid. If the whole ballpark is wearing them it throws everything off. No one is safe anymore. The team also did the usual DQ cap giveaway, the fishing lure, and the poster schedule, among other things. These are fine and I understand the tradition of giving these things away every year, but the Twins could do well to be a little more creative. With how they’ve been playing lately they’ve got to try harder to get the people in the park. I humbly submit the following ideas. PLUSH A few years ago the Twins gave away a plush Joe Mauer to fans 14 and under. Obviously, it was adorable. I think it’s time to bring the plush baseball players back. We have a lot of cuddly options on the team right now. There’s Doumit and his fuzzy red beard. They could do Dozier complete with flowing locks ready to be whipped to and fro. Or, I’ve got it! Plush Glen Perkins with working zipper! Wait, no, that one is terrible. And enough of this 14 and under nonsense, it gets exhausting kidnapping a child or walking on your knees every time. FILL IN THE BLANKS Of course, being as the Twins consistently have a merry go round of players going up and down from the minor leagues, it might be best to just avoid any player specific items. Maybe have a blank bobble head with a marker provided to draw on the face and name of whichever player is up that week. DISGUISES Instead of the aviators and shell necklaces they could give out those eyeglass and mustache combinations so you can successfully disguise yourself when the Twins fumble another routine play. Plus a crowd of people wearing funny glasses would just be hilarious. Could really boost fan morale. GNOMES Finally, my most obvious suggestion: How have the Twins not had a gnome giveaway? The Twins manager is a human embodiment of a lawn gnome! I’m pretty sure if he put on a pointed hat and sat outside in someone’s yard, no one would bat an eye. The Giants (and many other teams) have given away gnome versions of several of their players the last few years. And although the Tim Lincecum version (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH - McCovey Chronicles) has probably given multiple children nightmares, the idea is still pretty great. The Twins did in fact make a Gardenhire gnome that was sold at the proshop, but I really think Twins fans deserve to be given one. We’ve earned it after all we’ve been through. The ball is in your court, Twins Organization. I will be eagerly waiting by my computer for the inevitable email from your promotional department begging for my assistance.

Hang with the Majors is an event put on by the Minnesota Twins Wives Organization to benefit the Military Family Foundation. Fans can pay to have dinner with players and later the event opens to the public for player bartending, autographs, photos and auctions. So I jokingly tweeted before the event that because I no longer recognized anyone, I was just going to approach any tall muscular men I saw at Toby Keith’s and assume they were one of the Twins. This joke ended up basically being reality. There were a lot of jean and plaid button down shirt wearing men (I’m pretty sure Josh Willingham was the wardrobe coordinator) behind the bar that were obviously someone but I was at a loss. Thankfully, my friend Cindy pulled out her Twins yearbook so we could discreetly (not discreetly) attempt to compare their faces to the photos of them playing. We drew the line at asking them to pretend to throw a baseball so we could better identify their pitching faces. I decided to purchase a small wooden bat to have players sign. Last year I bought a picture of baseballs and ended up asking Anthony Swarzak to “sign my balls.” That was an awkward moment. This year one of my friends thought of inappropriate things I could say while handing my bat to players and although I’m a super immature person, I managed to hold back. The players were so ridiculously nice that I’m kind of glad that for once I didn’t make things more embarrassing than they needed to be. All of the athletes and their wives were genuinely appreciative of the fan support and were quick to make sure that everyone was having a good time. The stand outs were Brian Dozier and Glen Perkins, who stuck around and carried on real conversations with us beyond what is expected at a player appearance. Glen even joked about the game where he was pitching with his fly down and told us how embarrassed he was about it. He was just as funny and sarcastic as you would expect from his twitter account. Dozier was a total southern gentleman, and was the first to notice that we were sitting there without drinks in our hands. He definitely gained some new fans that night. The guys had just come off of their series loss to the Royals of all people, and although they were clearly having a good time, I didn’t get the sense that they were alright with losing. A drunk guy approached Kyle Gibson, and once he finally realized he was a Twins player, which was hilarious, told him “you guys need to start winning!” Kyle responded with passion “We’re not trying to lose!” which, duh, but it was good to see that there still is some heart left on the team. Overall, Hang with the Majors was another huge success. The Twins Wives Organization always does an amazing job of creating an experience that’s fun and available to everyone. My roommate and I were able to get Morneau and Willingham autographs for $5 apiece. How often can you say that? The auctions also raised a large amount of money with big ticket items like game suites and autographed baseballs and guitars. Even though this baseball season has been more painful than not, I think the Twins are one of the best professional sports organizations in regards to player accessibility. Can’t wait until next year! [ATTACH=CONFIG]5080[/ATTACH]