Joey P

TOM KELLY (MANAGER, 1986-2001): Just a great gal. Broke out of the gate quickly, lightning fast down the stretch, amazing haunches. So powerful. Always left the track in a good mood when she ran. [INFORMED THAT THIS IS NOT QUEEN ELIZABETH II, THE GREYHOUND KELLY WAGERED ON AT ST. CROIX MEADOWS, BUT RATHER THE HUMAN WOMAN] Oh. Well, that’s a shame. What country?
EMILIO PAGAN (PITCHER, 2022): I was fortunate enough to meet her on a visit to Great Britain in 2018. I even threw her a baseball for a photo op. She hit it 440 feet. I tip my cap to her.
ANDRELTON SIMMONS (SHORTSTOP, 2021): 96-year-old woman dies after getting the COVID vaccine? Coincidence? Yeah, right.
JOE MAUER (CATCHER, 2004-2018): Wow. Pretty big deal.
NICK PUNTO (INFIELDER, 2004-10): I slid headfirst into Buckingham Palace once. Guards got all bent out of shape about it and I’m like, “Hey, hustling doesn’t stop at the water’s edge, muchacho.” Anyway, that’s the only other time I had to fight extradition for wanting it more. RIP get money.
JUSTIN MORNEAU (FIRST BASE, 2003-16): As a Canadian, this means one thing: I must take up arms for the crown. If (Glen) Perkins or (Dick) Bremer get in my way, so be it.
GLEN PERKINS (PITCHER, 2006-2017): You know, it’s a complicated legacy. I th—wait a minute, what is (Justin} Morneau doing with…is that a musket?
DICK BREMER (TWINS PLAY-BY-PLAY, 1983-PRESENT): That’s a musket. Take cover, Glen. Fortunately, I’ve been to a St. Cloud State Homecoming or two in my day. [LIGHTS MOLOTOV COCKTAIL, HEAVES FLAMING COUCH AT POLITE YET FERAL SASKATOON HORDE]
BRAD RADKE (PITCHER, 1995-2006): I don’t think she was much of a fisherman, right?
BYRON BUXTON (OUTFIELDER, 2015-PRESENT): England is a country where I’ve never had a devastating injury. Liz is good by me.
ROCCO BALDELLI (MANAGER, 2019-PRESENT): Was following Phish around the country in 2015, just chill vibes for days. They played Alpine Valley and on night 1, the minute they kicked into “Tweezer,” who gets up on stage but the Queen herself? Just started jamming with Trey, couldn’t believe my eyes. Everyone says I was “feeling the effects” so to speak and there’s no video evidence, but I know what I saw. Her Majesty could shred.
DAN GLADDEN (OUTFIELDER, 1987-1991; RADIO ANNOUNCER 2000-PRESENT): America fought a damn war for me not to care about this. I tell you what though, if the Queen came out to the farm and helped me move some earth, lay some sod, get her hands dirty, and maybe punch that egg-sucking bastard Steve Lombardozzi right in the solar plexus, I’d pay my respects.
Image license here.

Friday’s highly-anticipated home opener isn’t the only exciting, fresh beginning at Target Field. 
Joined by UnitedHealthcare CEO Brett Edelson, the Twins officially unveiled their brand new UnitedHealth Sensory Suite on Tuesday afternoon at Target Field. 
Grounded in providing a more inclusive gameday experience for all fans, the suite will strive to provide a welcoming, compatible, and calming environment for neuroatypical fans seeking respite. 
“Since opening in 2010, we’ve worked really hard to ensure that Target Field is accessible to everyone,” Twins President Dave St. Peter said on Tuesday. “This suite is going to allow so many people who maybe otherwise wouldn’t be able to enjoy a day at the ballpark to do so now.”
The suite features several sensory rooms with various traits, toys, and features catering to fans of different age generations. 
“It’s a very intricate design of spaces that are quiet, spaces that have sensitivity around different sensory disorders, and features to be inclusive to all fans,” Edelson said. 

Yet the real difference maker is the front portion of the suite, which offers a beautiful overlook of the playing surface at Target Field. 
“One of the greatest pieces of feedback that we got during the process was ‘how can we actually see the game?’” Edelson said. “Having the fantastic view of the field, that was so important to everyone.”
And while other professional sports teams offer similar spaces, the sensory suite at Target Field goes above and beyond. 
“Other teams have spaces like this, but ours takes it to the next level,” Twins Senior Manager of Business Communications Matt Hodson said. “Any team that has a space is doing the right thing, but oftentimes those spaces are tucked away in a service area and can be just one room. We are being very intentional with the individualized spaces in this process.”
Providing proper and inclusive accommodations for fans is not a one-size-fits-all scenario. That’s why the Twins, UnitedHealthcare, and Fraser will be working with guest service staff members to help equip them to best serve neuroatypical fans throughout Target Field. 
“We took a step back and said, ‘Not everyone is going to come to the suite, (some fans) want to have that gameday experience at the ballpark,’” Edelson said. “We are offering training to all the guest service staff members so they can help families make the most of their gameday experience.” 
In an industry that is often viewed through a lens of results on the field, it’s important to remember the human side of baseball. The Twins have long served as champions of bridging the gap between baseball and the needs of our society. 
“We found through our listenings in the community that this was something that we were missing,” Hodson said. “We were missing the environment where families and individuals who are neuroatypical could enjoy the ballpark experience.”
And while the implementation certainly creates a great story, the Twins organization will continue to use its platform to best serve community members of all walks of life. 
"This organization does the right thing because it’s the right thing to do,” Hodson said. “When we say ‘all are welcome at Target Field, we truly mean it.” 
 
UnitedHealthcare Sensory Suite: What to Know
The new UnitedHealthcare Sensory Suite is an attempt to provide a different way to watch #MNTwins games for neuroatypical fans that might be a little overwhelmed at the ballpark.  It includes a balcony that overlooks the game and two inside rooms that provide a quieter environment, designed by UnitedHealthcare in partnership with Fraser, with neuroatypical kids and adults in mind.  The suite is in the newly branded UnitedHealthcare Suite Level, which most fans previously didn’t have access to. It’s right next to the elevators near the right-field foul pole, so it’s very accessible.  Twins game day staff will be trained to best serve neuroatypical fans that may not want to use the suite.  The Twins, UnitedHealthcare, and Fraser will provide sensory kits for guests to check out, free of charge, at Guest Services stations throughout Target Field. The sensory suite was a designed build, meaning that additions and recommendations from field experts were utilized in the building process.

I’ve watched countless veterans get a shot to wake up the echoes of past glory for the Minnesota Twins. In a tale as old as time, those veterans simply didn’t have it anymore, be that “it” talent, youth, conditioning, anabolic steroids, some cocktail of all these things, you name it. I’ve watched Steve Carlton and Sidney Ponson and Rondell White and Butch Huskey and Bret Boone and Joe Crede and Mike Pelfrey and Ricky Nolasco and Ramon Ortiz and Steve Howe and Roberto Kelly and Greg Myers and Pat Borders and Ruben Sierra and Greg Swindell and Mike Morgan and Todd Jones and Mike Fetters and Jesse Orosco and James Baldwin and Phil Nevin.
I’ve talked myself into Brian Fuentes as a possible closer. It feels good to admit this in a public forum. My shame is yours now.
Given all that I’ve learned, and knowing that for every Paul Molitor there are 145 Shane Rawleys, I want you to know what I think about Chris Archer.
I think he’s going to be just fine.
Given all the names I’ve listed without even mentioning John Candelaria, not even once, you are likely wondering why I think Archer will be perfectly adequate.
Because I need it very badly.
I could really use a good, solid Twins season in 2022. I say this knowing extremely well that 40% of the starting rotation are veterans trying to prove something after a bad year or years, 40% are just kids, and 20% is Sonny Gray. It’s challenging to be optimistic!
And yet. It’s going to be alright. Do I have proof of this? Of course not. But the fact remains, I’d really like for it to happen, and it feels like the universe owes us a kindness. Might that feeling just be a breakfast burrito repeating on me? Absolutely.
But this time, it’ll be different.

On March 22, Major League Baseball and the MLB Players Association (MLBPA) announced a tentative agreement on several rules for the 2022 season, two of which are a result of the expedited 3-1/2 week spring training that is currently underway due to the MLB lockout cutting into the spring training schedule.
Under these agreed-upon rules, MLB teams will be allowed to expand their rosters from the typical 26 players to 28 players through May 1 to compensate for the shortened spring training period. This will theoretically allow players, especially pitchers, to have some more rest built-in at the start of the season due to their lessened ramp-up time. In addition, MLB and the MLBPA agreed to implement the aptly nicknamed “Shohei Ohtani Rule” which states that a pitcher can remain the DH after he’s done pitching for the day. Double-headers this year will return to a traditional nine-inning format as opposed to the seven-inning games that took place during 2020 and 2021.
And everyone’s favorite rule- the ghost runner- has been resurrected from its grave.
Without a doubt, the most notable, and controversial, rule MLB and MLBPA agreed on is the return of the runner-on-second in extra-innings rule, also referred to as a “ghost runner,” "designated runner," and "automatic runner."  No matter its name, the rule, which has been used in the minors since 2018, was introduced to MLB in 2020 during the 60-game shortened season and states that “all half-innings after the ninth will begin with a runner on second base.” Given that the 2020 schedule was so tight with very few off-days built-in, the goal of the rule was to expedite the ending of games that reach extras to avoid teams having to deplete their bullpen and shuffle players around in the wake of a monster game. The rule also endeavored to increase game action for fans and prevent games from stretching late into the night. 
Despite differing opinions on if the rule should exist at all, it has without a doubt been a success in shortening the length of extra-inning games. In 2019 before the rule was implemented in the majors, the longest game went 19 innings with 24 pitchers used. In 2020 and 2021, only one game went longer than 13 innings- a 5 1/2 hour gauntlet between the Dodgers and Padres on August 25, 2021 that took 16 innings to decide. But this game was by far an anomaly. In 2019, 44 percent of extra-inning games ended in the 10th inning. This percent skyrocketed after the implementation of the runner-on-second rule- as of midway through the 2021 season, 72 percent of extra-inning games in 2020 and 2021 were decided in the 10th inning.
Last season, the ghost runner rule was scarier than a haunted house for many Twins fans. Though the Twins ended up finishing the 2021 season 11-12 in games reaching extras, they started out 0-8 in these games before finally winning in the 10th inning vs Cleveland on May 23. For the most part, their struggles were due to simply not executing at the plate in the form of popouts, grandouts and strikeouts.. Another reason why the Twins may have struggled with this rule is the team’s lack of bunting and sacrifice plays. In 2021, the Twins were tied for last in the MLB in sacrifice hits per game. Bunts and sacrifice flies enable runners to advance along the base paths in exchange for the batter “sacrificing” himself as an out. The runner-on-second rule introduces an entirely new strategy into the game, and teams who are able to execute sacrifice plays to advance the second base runner to scoring position at third are at an advantage.
When the Twins started out the season 5-3  last year, undefeated in nine-inning games at the time but winless in their three extra-inning games, Twins manager Rocco Baldelli relayed confidence in the team's ability to win games by swinging away in extras. 
 "There will be particular situations where we could make something happen, more in the light of a sacrifice bunt or going down that road," Baldelli said on April 10, 2021. "But most of the time, I think our best chance to win is sending good hitters up there and letting them take a crack at the at-bat. I would bet we do see it at some point this year."
The bats did eventually wake up, with the Twins winning 5 extra-inning games in a row starting with that May 23 win and finishing the season just under .500 in extra-inning games. But at the time, the frustration was palpable. 
The ghost runner rule led to one particularly memorable moment for Twins fans last season when pitcher and automatic runner Kenta Maeda scored the winning run in a 10th inning victory over the Detroit Tigers on July 26. 
It is important to note that the ghost runner rule only applies to the 2022 regular season, and the rule will not be in effect in this year's postseason. MLB and MLBPA have not made any statements about the rule's usage in 2023 and beyond. However, given this season will be the third in a row the rule has been implemented and that the MLBPA agreed to bring it back, thus signifying its members’ approval,  one has to wonder if the rule might stick around.
Last season, Commissioner Rob Manfred said that he did not see the extra-runner rule continuing on post-pandemic, only to later walk back his comments. In fact, the MLB’s own (outdated) glossary still states, “This rule will not be in place for the 2020 postseason or the 2021 campaign,” signifying that the rule has stuck around longer than MLB was anticipating. Though the rule may be back in 2022 due in part to the shortened spring training period, the rule has appeared to grow on many managers and players.
“I actually think it’s kind of fun,” Cleveland Manager Terry Francona told The Athletic. 
The Twins lost in extras vs the Seattle Mariners on April 10, 2021, which gave pitcher Taylor Rodgers a loss on his record despite only allowing one hit in his outing. But even in the wake of this frustration, he expressed understanding of the rule from an injury and roster standpoint.
"Trying to look bigger picture, that's something [where] we didn't play 17 innings, and we don't need to make two [roster] moves in the bullpen for that type of stuff," Rogers said. "So, bigger picture, I think that's probably the best move. But right now, it kind of stings."
Anyone else familiar with the phrase commonly heard among college baseball players “anything but extras?” Many other players are likely all in favor of a rule that will get them off the field and into an ice bath sooner. 
Meanwhile, many fans have not had as warm of a reception to the rule's return. Opponents of the rule have deemed it antithetical to baseball and “bush league,” in addition to many other colorful descriptors. Some have suggested that the rule should not take effect right away in the 10th inning but perhaps later, like in the 12th inning. Some even took issue of the name of the rule itself, expressing disdain that many were referring to it as a “ghost runner.”
Fans of the Metrodome will remember fondly the light-up video board message proclaiming that Walks will Haunt (and they certainly always do). Will the runner-on-second rule return to be a specter in the eyes of Twins fans in 2022?
MY TAKE
With such a shortened ramp-up time for pitchers during spring training, I know that one marathon-length game could have big bullpen ramifications and necessitate a lot of roster shuffling. Thus, at the most, the automatic runner rule should be used in the 2022 regular season in the name of injury prevention but then never again in a regular-length season with a normal spring training. But if MLB was so concerned about wear and tear on its players, couldn't they just shorten the season  (not that we want that, but it does make sense if we're strictly talking from an injury standpoint if the assertion is that players didn't get enough spring training work) or allow rosters to be expanded by more than two spots?
I am a believer that baseball games should have the chance to resolve themselves naturally, even if it takes a handful of extras to do so. If you think about it, MLB wanting to desperately cut down game times, both with pace of play measures like pitch clocks and the ghost runner rule, seems a bit counterintuitive- they want to provide less of their product to fans. What is their incentive to prevent long extra-inning games- to get people to keep watching? Those who have stuck around for the whole game will probably stick around once extras hit anyway. To me, the length of extra innings doesn't matter, whether it's one inning or four, I'm going to stick around and see what happens regardless of how long it takes.
MLB's quest to shorten games seems a bit misplaced to me in general. It goes back to a point I expressed in my piece about pitch clocks- baseball is inherently a slower-paced sport. Some people will be bored with the game regardless of how long they last. MLB can introduce all the pace of play measures it wants, but it will still not be hockey with its constant high-speed movement and players crashing into the boards or basketball with its nonstop scoring. 
Those who think baseball is boring or do not care about what happens in extra innings probably won't find the automatic runner rule that exciting either. It's not a hockey shootout. And those who love baseball will enjoy extra innings without needing the manufactured drama of the automatic runner. There is also a certain legendary lore about long extra-inning battles that we would rarely witness with about 3/4 of games ending in the 10th inning under the rule. 
Implementing the ghost runner rule to cut down on burdens on pitching staffs makes sense. Implementing it solely because fans get sleepy or disinterested watching extra innings does not. At the very most, if the rule must be used, it should not take effect right away in the 10th inning. The 12th inning seems like a good compromise to me, and based on stats showing the number of games currently ending in the 10th inning with an automatic runner, the game would probably end here in the 12th too. 12 innings is long but not egregiously so. Fans of this approach would say this gives the game about an extra hour to resolve itself, but if not, the buck stops here before things get miserable. But I'd prefer the ghost to just return to its grave. 
What’s your take on the return of the runner-on-second rule? Leave a COMMENT below. 

Since Buxton first joined the team in 2015, he’s only had one year with 500 plate appearances, and indeed only one with over 331. His injuries have ranged from seemingly self-inflicted problems due to his aggressive defense in center field, to worrisome nagging injuries like hip strains and foot injuries, to flukey injuries like a broken finger from being hit by a pitch.
On the other hand, he’s been absolutely elite defensively throughout his time with the Twins, and recently his offense has reached a similar level. This year he hit .306 with 19 home runs in just 61 games, a pace that makes him a 50-home run threat over a full season. He’s also only 27 years old, entering the peak period of many players' careers.
He is due to be a free agent next offseason, compelling the Twins to either sign him to an extension or trade him this offseason, lest they risk having him leave next year for nothing more than a compensatory draft pick. That urgency is further heightened by the threat of an impending work stoppage starting as soon as Wednesday night. If an extension or trade iss not made by then, there is a chance any such move would be delayed until some unknown point in a potentially compressed offseason, or thwarted altogether.
A deal would likely represent the biggest deal the Twins have made since they signed Joe Mauer to a contract extension in 2010 for $184 million dollars. That deal was also for a rare talent who contributed defensively, was at the peak of his ability, and on the verge of free agency. 
The deal with Mauer aged poorly, as leg problems and concussions limited his ability to stay at catcher and stay in the lineup. With Buxton having more health questions, the reality is it makes him more affordable; it’s unlikely the Twins could complete a deal without the built-in discount his health history affords them. 
The Mauer deal also took place as the Twins were completing a run of division-winning seasons and trying to lengthen their competitive window. Twins’ management’s next to-do for this offseason is to find some starting pitchers whom Buxton’s Gold Glove can assist with his range in center field. While the size of Buxton’s deal is likely significant, the Twins entered the offseason with as much as $50M or so to spend on free agents. A deal with Buxton is likely to maintain that capability.
Indeed, Ken Rosenthal has just published contract details:
The extension  guarantees $15M per year (except this year, when he still would've been under arbitration) plus very large bonuses for MVP bonuses and a series of $500K bonuses if he stays healthy for over 500 plate appearances. It is a very creative contract. I can't think of any that has had a bonus structure remotely similar to it. The deal essentially rewards Buxton extra money for staying healthy for a full season, handsomely for MVP-caliber production, but still guarantees him base salary commensurate to a top center fielder. 
If the Twins had traded Buxton instead, it would be hard for them to pretend that they could expect to be competitive in 2022. They would have lost their best offensive and defensive player, while also trying to replace 60% of their starting rotation. Retaining Buxton keeps the option of competing in 2022 alive. It should also make him one of the core pieces of the next competitive Twins team. Further pieces will still need to be assembled, but the deal represents a serious effort by the Twins to compete by locking up high-end home-grown talent for a long time.
We'll add details as they emerge. In the meantime, give us your initial thoughts below. 

The prospect of a Major League Baseball lockout is growing by the day. While impacts on free agency and the 2022 season are only speculative at this point, some segments of the economy are already facing the consequences of a potential work stoppage head-on.
“The male beat writers aren’t buying their new Spring Training shirts,” said a source close to the Minnesota chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America. “Can’t justify the expense if there won’t be a spring training.”
Replacing the previous year’s shirts, often marred by sweat, spilled coffee, missing buttons, and stains from a staggering variety of dipping sauces, is a hallowed tradition for writers both old and new.
Right now, this tradition is riding the pine.
“The whole market, be it staid Target golf polos or hideous button downs from brands with names like Panama Beachcomber, is in shambles,” said Steve Mediate, a consumer goods analyst for Forbes. “Clearly, they’re holding off until there’s more clarity from MLB and the players union.”
Mediate is concerned that, even if an agreement is reached and a lockout avoided, it’ll be too late for the journalists to acquire their repulsive garments.
“There’s a textile factory in Vietnam that specializes in the more garish designs certain baseball writers favor,” said Mediate. “They’ve been shuttered for a month. If he wants a shirt that looks like an educational film about farm accidents, they’re not even making them right now. His best bet for a button down designed by someone who hates the gift of sight and the concept of beauty is a vintage store or Goodwill.”
Mediate confirmed that similar impacts are being felt in sectors like sandals and dumb-looking hats.
“There are warehouses full of hats that keep the sun off your neck and also make you look like a real chump, a cosmic dorkwad who frankly should be bullied,” said Mediate. “They’re gathering dust and not going anywhere. It’s a mess.”
Image license for photo of grotesque shirts here.

Twins Daily usually stays between the lines as regards content. However, when the best catcher in team history sends a movie review to our Friday correspondent, we disregard the baseball aspect. What follows is Joe Mauer’s review of the 2021 film Dune, now available on HBO Max and in theaters nationwide.
Hey guys. I watched the movie Dune at mom’s house. She usually gets sore when me or Jake (Mauer, Joe’s younger brother) watch HBO there because they show S-E-X stuff at night, but I told her this was more like the Star Wars so she let it slide.
I wasn’t even telling stories to Mom there, I really thought this was a Star Wars movie. Remember when Luke Skywalker was just driving around the desert with his cool grampa and the robots from England? It was a whole bunch of dunes! Easy mistake to make if you’re asking me.
I was wrong. No funny robots or Han Solo, I tell you what. I guess this movie involves Timothy Huggybear or whatever and the one young woman from Shake It Up on Disney Channel and they’re trying to find a bunch of spices and get into adventures? I’ll be honest, it was real tough to follow.
The thing is, I knew it was going to be a real weirdo beardo, because my friend Glen (Perkins, former Twins pitcher) told me there was a Dune that came out when I was born with the guy from Twin Peaks and the Police rock band and it was super cool. The thing is Glen always mixes his lies with the truth to mess with me so I knew he was busting my chops lol. Also he might be the devil? Mom’s kinda on the fence about him.
Anyway, when Timothy Chandelier and Shake It Up Chicago go on their adventure, it’s pretty fun. I couldn’t follow it all that closely because Jake kept hucking wiffle balls at me while I was trying to watch the ding-dang movie. But the parts I could watch before Jake put Bob Seger on the Bluetooth speakers looked really fun.
Anyway, I guess I’d watch this again. Have a great weekend, guys.
Stay golden,
Joe

Okay, let me start by saying this is an absolutely terrible idea. If you want a serious look at bullpen options for 2022, check out Jamie Cameron’s article from Friday on that very topic. Astudillo will never be seriously considered as a pitcher, partially because selling such a decision to the fanbase unironically would be impossible, but what if he was? What if he got a full sixty innings of relief work?
As a primer, let’s look at Astudillo’s pitching numbers from 2021. He was given four opportunities to toe the rubber, all as a mop-up dude in blowout losses. In those four games, he pitched four full innings and allowed only one (rather infamous) run. That’s an ERA of 2.25, which is better than every actual reliever the Twins put out there this year except for four innings of Devin Smeltzer and 12 innings of Nick Vincent. Also, with only one hit allowed all year, Astudillo’s WHIP of .750 was second on the club, trailing only Smeltzer.
On the other hand, having walked two and struck out exactly zero (0) hitters, Astudillo’s strikeouts per walk rate is in the mud (at 0.00), but, as Twins fans, we like to pretend that Wes Johnson can fix everything, so let’s assume he gets at least a strikeout every two innings out of Astudillo. 
Now, obviously, La Tortuga’s four innings pitched is a ridiculously small sample size, but if that’s the type of thing that bothers you, this may not be the article for you, because this entire flimsy argument is based on that small sample size. And, even with that said, we’ve seen position players be immediately terrible on the mound before, and the fact that Astudillo gave the Twins even just four innings of competence means something. 
With his stats settled (just don’t look at his FIP), let’s examine Astudillo’s stuff. According to FanGraphs, Willians has a fastball that sits in the low-80s, a seldom-used changeup in the low 60s and a heavily-used eephus that comes in at a bizarrely slow 45 miles per hour. Now he’s certainly not blowing up the radar gun, but he can throw each of these pitches for strikes (a remarkable skill) and pitchers have gotten Major League hitters out before with little velocity. Heck, Jamie Moyer’s fastball was tipping the scales at 78 mph when he was pitching real innings in the majors as a 49-year-old. 
The key is the difference in velocity between your fastest and slowest pitch. In Moyer’s autobiography, Just Tell Me I Can’t, he repeatedly mentioned that he aimed for a 10 mph difference between his fastball and changeup velocity. Well, check out Astudillo; he’s got a 35+ mph difference between his fastest and slowest pitch. This overlay shows you exactly what that looks like:
I mean, these pitches cross the plate in completely different time zones. And, it’s not as if those are the only two pitches he throws. If that were the case, hitters could either sit on one or the other and smack the baseball into next week. But Astudillo can get the ball across the plate at virtually any velocity between 45mph and 85 mph, so hitters never really know when the pitch is going to cross. With this bizarre pitch arsenal, there is reason to believe that Astudillo would be unpredictable enough on the mound to have real success. Just check out this highlight tape:
It’s clear that big league hitters just simply don’t know what to do with 45 mph over the middle, and then after seeing it a few times, Astudillo shows them the same delivery but fires it in at 72, which is suddenly way too fast to adjust to. 
Now, obviously, professional hitters would be able to adjust to Astudillo’s antics if he actually became a full-time reliever. The eephus surely wouldn’t be as effective the 100th time Astudillo threw it and his fastball might start to look like batting practice fodder more than anything else. But, given that Astudillo is the only guy in the league that pitches like he does, I’m just not sure hitters would be spending time preparing for the one at-bat a series they might get off him. 
And, even if they did, it might not matter. When you spend all your career preparing for—and all day hitting off of—high velocity, high spin rate guys, adjusting to hitting off Astudillo likely feels like playing a completely different sport. And that might be just enough to make him viable as a full-time reliever. 
Again, Falvey and Levine certainly won’t be able to trot out an Opening Day roster that has Astudillo as a pitcher, because, you know, we want the team to be good. However, if the team is going to be bad again—if we make it to July and Minnesota baseball is just as depressing as it was this year—I’d love to see him coming out of the bullpen on a regular basis. I only kind of believe he could do it, but if the Twins are going to be bad, I’d rather they be fun to watch.
What do you think? Could La Tortuga actually do it? Let us know in the comments!
 

Please, calm down.
I’m not at all saying Berríos is, today, similar to what Santana was when the Mets acquired him from Minnesota. Nor that he will be nearly as good as the Venezuelan. But bear with me, while I look at what those two deals have in common.
Their role in the Twins
After the 2007 season, Santana was already one of baseball’s greatest pitchers, if not the best one. Mentioning his accolades up until that moment has no use here. They couldn’t afford him, so they found themselves forced to trade him. Berríos, right now, may not be the ace Johan was, but he is certainly one of baseball’s most reliable arms. Especially, you know, health-wise. So far in his career, Berríos hasn’t had any serious injury that cost him relevant playing time. His injury history is immaculate. Minus 2016, the year he got called up for the first time, and 2020, the 60-game season, Berríos has logged at least 145 innings in each season of his career.
He’s having career numbers this year, which indicates that he’s only getting better. So he may not be as talented as Santana, but he’s a solid piece of this rotation. A player who could easily be a number three starter for the vast majority of MLB teams. And, at 27, which is two years younger than Santana when he was dealt, you just have to assume he’s just entering his prime.
What if they stayed?
My main point here is this. What could’ve happened if the Twins could afford Santana and signed him to an extension? And what may happen if they decide to hold on to José now? Everything from now on will be hypothetical, so get ready for many ‘what ifs.’ When Minnesota traded Santana, they knowingly gave up on a two-time Cy Young Award winner, the best starter they had since… Blyleven? Viola in ‘91? Or the best one ever? You decide. If he had stayed, he would’ve made that phenomenal Twins team even better.
After a disappointing 79-83 record in 2007, Minnesota went on to win at least 87 games in each of the following three seasons, including a 94-win season in 2010, capping a second consecutive AL Central title. However good they were, those teams could never get past the Yankees in their trips to the ALDS.
How much closer to winning a World Series would that particular team be, had Santana stayed? No one will ever know. But I think it’s fair to assume they would have much, much better odds. In conclusion, trading away Johan, even though it was the only logical solution given the club’s financial reality at that point, undeniably made the Twins a worse team.
With that being said, let’s shift to Berríos’ case now. Realistically speaking, the Twins are a much better team with him around. No pitcher within the organization brings to the table, today, the same productivity from Berríos. Kenta Maeda bounced back very nicely, but there’s no way he’s had a better season than José so far.
If you’re not looking at the prospect of a two or three-year rebuilding process, there’s no way you trade Berríos now. Minnesota’s chances of having a competitive rotation in 2022 are not better at all with the absence of Berríos. Unless, of course, they pull a huge free agent signing during the winter, which is very unlikely.
Let me repeat myself: Berríos is no ace (yet), and he doesn’t bring to the table the same as Santana 13 years ago. But if you keep him, adding one or two good free agent arms during the winter could turn this rotation around next year. If you don’t, you’re considerably further along.
What is the big difference?
Like I said before, the Twins had no alternatives but to trade Santana. Revenue wasn’t the same, so it’s understandable. What you can question is how bad the return for Santana was. That deal turned out to be one of the worst in club history. But, yeah, trading him was a must.
On the other hand, that certainly doesn’t seem to be the same case with Berríos now. First, a contract extension to José wouldn’t be nearly as expensive. Twins Daily’s Ted Schwerzler believes that a Berríos contract would look similar to those of Luis Severino, Aaron Nola, and Lance McCullers, ranging around the  $12-15M AAV and going for four or five years. We don’t know the complete picture of Minnesota’s financial reality, but that doesn’t seem like a very expensive ask.
The aftermath
While the return for Santana was suboptimal, sadly, the remainder of Santana’s career was severely affected by injuries. While still a fine pitcher and pitching an amazing 2008 season, he needed to go through two season-ending surgeries in 2009 and 2010, the latter one also removing him from the entirety of 2011.
Again turning to hypotheticals, if he had been healthy in New York, watching him pitch at a high level for a different team could be somewhat similar to watch David Ortiz slug his way into the Hall of Fame in a Red Sox uniform. What aggravates Ortiz’s case is the fact that no one saw that coming, unlike Santana. Still, it wouldn’t feel nice.
Thinking about the comparison with Berríos, how frustrating would it be to see him actually become an ace for a different team? Many Twins fans don’t consider him ace material up until now. But are you willing to bet money that this will never change? How certain are you that he won’t be one of the league’s top starters two or three years from now?
Offering a more optimistic perspective: how amazing would it be if Berríos actually becomes an ace and the Twins had already locked him up long-term with a ‘bargain’ of $15M AAV? He would not only be the cornerstone of the Twins rotation, but he would also serve as a mentor to all the exciting arms coming up from the farm. Just picture, three years from now, a rotation containing Berríos and names like Josh Winder, Jordan Balazovic, Griffin Jax, and Bailey Ober.
Assuming the financial aspect isn’t an issue, the only thing standing between Berríos and a future with the Twins is whether the club wants him around or not – unlike Santana. A haul in exchange for him would obviously look nice. But keeping him may potentially be even more profitable.
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