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  • Game Thread: Twins @ White Sox, 4/7@7:10pm CT


    Riverbrian

    Inspired by the 3 game opening series sweep of the Kansas City Royals, my plan was to kick this thing off with a history of sweeping. My initial google search led me to a Washington Post article, “Roots is a sweeping history,” and that was not the direction I planned on heading. I continued to search but it became obvious that no one knows when sweeping started. There is a mention of the act of sweeping in the bible so I assume it has been around awhile. I decided to give up trying to sound like I knew something about such things. I rarely use a broom… I’m not even sure how you plug them in… and I’m a Twins Fan so it’s not like I’m getting a lot of sweeping experience that way either.

    Here are some things to think about:

    Twins Video

    1. Chicago – The Windy City is a weird place. Just cruise by the art and it doesn’t take long to come to that conclusion. Chicagoans are basically down to earth people but when they make a concentrated effort to be snobby… they choose to be snobby about… of all things… Hot Dogs. They like their sandwiches wet which is odd because Clark Griswold is from Chicago and he clearly didn’t like his sandwich wet at all. Every Friday night they hold turtle races at Big Joe's. This is not a race between Greg Luzinski and Ron Kittle… they race actual turtles; the races begin at 9:30 on Friday nights and they end on the following Thursdays at 6PM. Chicago has LED faces that spit water, a 100 pound steel bean that distorts your reflection, buildings that are shaped like corn cobs, 16 inch softballs and Oprah Winfrey. Chicago also has 37 bridges that separate to allow cars to fall into the river and that river turns green once a year probably from all the anti-freeze leaking out of the cars that fall into the river because of those unpredictable bridges.

    2. Our Twins – Life is good right now in Twins Territory. Three games and three wins and we have nothing to complain about. Not that we won’t try to complain anyway. Byron Buxton looks like September was a long time ago, Joe Mauer looks like 2009 was a long time ago, Brian Dozier hasn’t homered yet but Sano has and Jason Castro has pitch framed his pitching staff to 5 runs in 27 innings for an ERA under 2. I see no reason the Twins won’t keep winning as long as the White Sox walk 16 batters over 3 games like the Royals did.

    3. The White Sox – It was a partial fire sale for the Sox this off season. Rumors were frequent that everyone was going away. Sale, Eaton, Quintana, Frazier, Abreu were on the trading block but like typical White Sox… they just couldn’t complete the plan. They may have moved Quintana but the asking price became too high after what they received for Eaton. They just ain’t going to trade their players for any ole’ hot dog. They want a special Hot Dog and they want mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, peppers and celery salt thrown into the deal. What a bunch of snobs they are!!!

    4. Today’s Joe M Conversation

    Mauer: Hey Joe, what are you doing.

    Maddon: I’m watching this giraffe here on my phone. Her name is April and she is going to give birth any moment.

    McCarthy: She still hasn’t given birth yet. Jeez… Let that thing drop already.

    Mauer: That’ll be a long drop… they should put down some pillows or something.

    McCarthy: I was watching last month and I got tired of waiting.

    Maddon: Last month?

    McCarthy: Yeah it’s been streaming for about a month now… Still Waiting I guess.

    Mauer: People have been watching this… all that time?

    McCarthy: Yeah

    Maddon: The same people who think baseball is too long?

    McCarthy: Yeah… The Same People.

    5. Privacy – My wife told me that she didn’t want me posting her private details publicly anymore. Not on Twins Daily, Facebook, Twitter or anything like that… She said that it wasn’t anyone else’s business. I love her and respect her so I told her that I wouldn’t, although I suspect that her hemorrhoids are making her a little cranky.

    ____________________

    Lineups:

    TWINS

    Brian Dozier 2B

    Robbie Grossman DH

    Byron Buxton CF

    Miguel Sano 1B

    Jorge Polanco SS

    Max Kepler RF

    Eduardo Escobar 3B

    Chris Gimenez C

    Eddie Rosario LF

    Phil Hughes, P

    WHITE SOX

    Tyler Saladino 2B

    Tim Anderson SS

    Melky Cabrera LF

    Jose Abreu 1B

    Todd Frazier 3B

    Cody Asche DH

    Avisail Garcia RF

    Geovany Soto C

    Leury Garcia CF

    Derek Holland, P

    Game-time forecast: 45 deg F, a few clouds here and there, very low chance of rain, winds at 5mph from the east ... which means from across the lake ... brrrrrr.

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    "5. Privacy – My wife told me that she didn’t want me posting her private details publicly anymore. Not on Twins Daily, Facebook, Twitter or anything like that… She said that it wasn’t anyone else’s business. I love her and respect her so I told her that I wouldn’t, although I suspect that her hemorrhoids are making her a little cranky."

     

    Sorry to hear about your wife's hemorrhoids, RB. I sympathize, my own explosive diarrhea episodes happen at the most inopportune times, like last Sunday night at karaoke. I just can't hit those Steve Perry high notes without embarrassing myself... 

    Being willing to sing any Steve Perry song is embarrassing enough on its own.

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