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    Seth Stohs

    There are often events outside of the game remind us to put the game into perspective. The most morbid example of this came in late September when Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez passed away in a boating accident. Another situation involves arrests of athletes.

    In the NFL, there is the case of Josh Brown. The New York Giants kicker was suspended one game by the NFL for a domestic abuse case. When reports came out of his detailed journals of his abuse against his wife, the Giants didn’t have him fly to Europe with the team. He has since been added to the Commissioner's’ Exempt list and likely will never play in the NFL again. Same thing happened with Ray Rice. The Vikings Adrian Peterson missed a year due to domestic abuse.

    Image courtesy of Ken Blaze, USA Today

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    Unfortunately, baseball hasn’t been immune to the same issues. Cubs reliever Aroldis Chapman closed out the NLCS by tossing nothing but 100-103 mph fastballs.

    Last offseason, unfortunately, it wasn’t Chapman’s fastball that people were talking about. In early December, a dozen police officers were called to Chapman’s home. He shot a gun eight times into his garage. That was after an incident in his home in which he allegedly choked his girlfriend and pushed her against a wall in his home theater. No charges were filed because stories changed and conflicted, but there was enough there in MLB's eyes and Chapman was given a 30-game suspension by MLB.

    The Reds traded Chapman to the Yankees. Almost a week before the July 31st trade deadline, Theo Epstein OKd a trade to the Cubs. Chapman has continued to be what he is, which is the best, most dominant closer in the game.

    For Chicago sports fans, the moral dilemma is a familiar one. It is a situation that played itself out a year earlier when Blackhawks’ star Patrick Kane was arrested for rape (though he was never charged).

    In a New York Times story, Chapman said, “People are thinking it’s something serious; I have not put my hands on anyone, didn’t put anyone in danger.”

    Sure. That’s why his girlfriend called 911 while hiding in some bushes outside the house.

    He added, “It was just an argument with your partner that everyone has.” (emphasis mine)

    My assumption, hopefully not naive, is that Chapman’s thinking is in the minority, that most ballplayer and most people in general do not think like that.

    Last offseason, Jose Reyes was with his wife at a resort in Hawaii. Police reports stated the Reyes grabbed his wife by the throat and threw her against a sliding door. He was suspended 51 games by the league, through May 31st. At that time, the Rockies released him. He later signed with the New York Mets.

    It’s also interesting and maybe a little scary to see teammates quickly support their friend. Giants players were put in an awkward position when they were asked about the Josh Brown situation. Several, including their coach, chose to say that they wanted to support their teammate. A nice gesture, but not really something that many would want to defend.

    Following the Chapman and Reyes suspension announcements, David Ortiz was asked about it. He said, “These are good guys. I feel so bad for them. I know Jose well. He is not a troublemaker. He’s a good guy.”

    It’s hard to blame Ortiz for that comment. He was asked and gave an answer. The reality is that we don’t necessarily know everything that happens in the homes of our friends and neighbors. We may not know if there is physical abuse occurring. Even more difficult to know in many cases is the psychological abuse that can happen. Those scars may not be visible, but they can last for a long time.

    In 2006, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was arrested for punching his wife in the face in Boston. “Police showed up after a 911 call and saw severe swelling on the left side of her face — he used his pitching hand — and she said he had punched her. He was arrested on the spot, and he was released on $200 bail ... paid by his wife.”

    Also in 2006, Tigers infielder Dmitri Young was arrested. He was 32, and his 21-year-old former girlfriend reported the incident three days later. “They said she had bruises on her hip and leg, the newspaper reported, and photographs showed scratches on her neck, upper body and leg.”

    In 1995, Atlanta manager Bobby Cox was arrested for punching his wife and pulling her hair.

    In 1997, Wil Cordero was arrested for threatening to kills his wife in the presence of police officers. Originally the Red Sox did nothing, but when they learned of a previous domestic abuse charged they chose to suspend him for eight games. The league did nothing.

    In 2003, the Astros released Julio Lugo after he was arrested for hitting his wife and slamming her face into a car hood. The Rays signed him soon after and he played in the big leagues through 2011.

    The Minnesota Twins have also been hurt by a couple of cases, though in both cases, the events occurred following their playing careers.

    You will remember, just a couple of years ago, the Twins announced the 2B Chuck Knoblauch was going to become a Twins Hall of Famer. After reports came out of his arrest for grabbing, hitting and even throwing a humidifier at his wife, the Twins chose to cancel Knoblauch’s induction. Knoblauch had been arrested five years earlier on similar charges.

    And, soon after Kirby Puckett was inducted into Baseball’s Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY, in 2001, reports came out of his infidelity and other transgressions. In October of 2002, he was arrested for “sexual assault and false imprisonment for allegedly groping a woman after pulling her into the bathroom of a Minnesota restaurant.”

    The 2003 Sports Illustrated article by Frank Deford opened up all of our eyes. Puckett was a hero to many, yours truly included.

    In it, it talks about Puckett’s then-wife (December 2001) calling police and telling them that he had threatened to kill her. She said that he previously had strangled her with electrical cord. He had used a power tool to break through a door she had locked to get to her. He even once had a gun to her head and threatened to pull the trigger.

    Kirby Puckett was my last hero. I find it now important to separate what happens on the field of play and the person, even if that person is someone who does so much good in the community or owns a Roberto Clemente Award for community service.

    Even after the reports, arrests and allegations, Puckett still had his front office job with an office at the Metrodome. To this day, those that knew him speak only glowingly about their teammate and friend.

    MLB and their players association have set up some domestic abuse policies. These include annual training and support and emergency hotlines, as well as framework for punishment. It’s a good start, and hopefully they will continue to improve upon it.

    It is a difficult subject to read about. It’s difficult to write about as well. With Aroldis Chapman pitching the Cubs to the World Series and getting a ton of credit, maybe it’s the perfect time to broach the subject. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy watching Aroldis Chapman pitch and watching for the radar gun readings after each and every pitch. Likewise I’ll never forget the joy that watching Kirby Puckett play gave me from the time I was eight until I was 19.

    Domestic abuse happens, far too often, in professional sports, and baseball has had far too many cases over the years. It happens to people in every profession, in every walk of life. It happens to the rich, and it happens to the middle and lower classes.

    Maybe it can create a discussion about hero-worship among athletes, about putting them on a pedestal. It can create discussion between fathers and sons, between husbands and wives. If nothing else, maybe this article can be read by someone who will choose not to verbally or psychologically abuse their spouse or significant other. Maybe it can give courage to one person who suddenly realizes that she or he is a victim.

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      On 10/26/2016 at 2:40 PM, ThejacKmp said:

    Couldn't disagree more. We always need to listen to the victim and take it into consideration. If the DA just pursues a case without the consent of the victim and without talking to them, he or she hurts that victim all over again. Whether it’s losing a home because the family loses an income, having to get a second job and not see their kids or dealing with shunning in the community from people who downplay the incident and play the blame game, these consequences are real. We should take the victim’s preferences into consideration (obviously some concept of the egregiousness and violence of the crime plays a role but most cases fall into a gray zone).

     

    That’s really why we need something between “Your partner is going to jail” and “Your partners is coming home to probably abuse you again.” Something that involves access to resources to prevent further recurrences or help to gain independence without going under.

     

    Vanimal quoted this article, a must-read when thinking about this issue.

    I didn't say to ignore the victim completely.  Most of the time, their cooperation is going to be key to forming a case anyway.  I might be able to agree if it's a first time occurrence for the abuser, but if it's a reoccurring thing that could even span multiple people/partners, I couldn't disagree with you more.  Those people need to be dealt with.  That's an established behavior, not some one off instance.  If there are kids involved, abused or not, being hospitalized and/or beaten nearly to death doesn't do them any favors either.

     

    Frankly, if I have a choice between being beaten or finding a second job or whatever, I'm finding that second job or whatever.  I don't deserve to be beaten, I don't deserve to be battered and bruised, I don't deserve to live a life like that.  It may be hard, but I'm better off.  Nobody deserves to be treated like that.  That's the message that needs to get through to both the victim and the abuser.  Nobody deserves to be treated like that.  Obviously, what they do is ultimately their choice.  I agree completely that there should be an option between "partner going to jail" and "partner coming home to abuse again".  There are options, they may not be as prevalent as they need to be everywhere, but there are options.  HitInAPinch has touched on at least one.  Could there be more and better options out there?  Sure, and there's no reason that further options shouldn't be sought.

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      On 10/26/2016 at 2:16 PM, ThejacKmp said:

    Everyone gets bored. Most people don't react by smoking crack. But some do. That doesn't mean that boredom isn't a reason some people get into smoking crack.

     

    I just feel sad if you think people can't be rehabilitated. And scared - I feel like a lot of the problems we have in the world are because people think that other people are broken and thus not as human (not saying that's you, just that it's the same mindset). And I think a lot of abusers don't see women as property - I think they're scared of women having independence, cheating on them, not needing them etc. I don't think it's dismissive-based, I think it's fear-based.

     

    That said, you have an excellent point about our punishment system being geared towards useless punishment and not towards rehabilitation, though I think you're being wildly optimistic that juvenile programs are markedly different. I think the only real difference is that we erase a juvenile record at 18 so their blemishes don't carry over to the work force. We have a lot of problems in this country but perhaps the biggest is changing our concept of prison.

     

    Go Twins! Go Mauer (I feel very confident we won't hear any Kirby Puckett-esque stories about Mauer down the line.)

    I guess I don't understand why a person would fear those things (independence, not needing them) unless it's because they look at that person as their property.

     

    If you view your SO as an equal person, those are attributes you actually seek out.

     

    I've witnessed a lot of men who are extremely verbally abusive towards their wife/girlfriend and they had a lot of variables. But the one thing that they always had in common, every time, was that the abuser spoke to and about the victim as though they viewed them as property.

     

    So yeah that is anecdotal, but that is what I've witnessed so that is why I've formed the opinions that I have.

     

    The reason I translate that into thinking they can't (most of the time) be rehabilitated is because if you view something as your property, you are never going to have empathy towards them, never.

     

    As, I said before, they may "fake it", because they don't want to get into trouble, or because they don't want friends or family to know about it, or whatever the reason. But I'm not sure empathy is something that can be taught to an adult. You either have it or you don't.

     

    Regarding the juvenile justice system, I should have been more specific. Their credence is rehabilitation over punishment, though you are right that isn't always the case in practice.

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      On 10/26/2016 at 6:05 AM, ThejacKmp said:

    I think you misunderstood what I mean by black and white. Or perhaps you didn’t read it – I suspect the latter is true since you’re indicating that I was talking about right and wrong in reference to abuser and victim. That’s nowhere near what I was saying. Let me try again.
    ----
    DUIs are pretty straightforward crimes. A person drives with too much alcohol and is busted by the cops. There are field sobriety tests and physical evidence (blood or a breathalyzer number). Society has a clear and reasoned set of punishments – you drank and drove so you lose your license; you owe a fine and have to take a drunk driving education course; your insurance rates go up. There’s no need to convince the passenger in the car or the passenger in another car nearby to testify against the perpetrator. The crime itself is pretty straightforward, as are the punishments.

     

    Domestic violence (DV) is a whole different story. There is evidence but the officer in charge of prosecuting didn’t gather that evidence and has to navigate often conflicting stories (see Solo, Hope) to try to guess the truth. The officer also needs to convince the victim to testify in court, often against his or her own self-interest. Families face financial hardships that often include eviction if the perpetrator of DV goes to jail. This isn’t to mention that they have to look a loved one in the eye months after the incident and send them to jail. That’s a much harder thing to do and it becomes even harder since unlike with DUIs, the punishments for DV don’t really provide much of a solution or rational punishment. Time in jail is unlikely to correct abusive behavior and punishes the victims of DV right alongside their victimizers.

     

    For that reason, the NFL/MLB/NBA etc. tendency to punish crimes with big splashy suspensions is even more misguided for DV than it is for DUIs. It’s just another version of ignoring the basic issues behind it.
    -----
    Hopefully that clarified this a bit more. A few more things that struck me from your response:

     

    1) Ummm, it’s not the players union stopping punishment, it’s the league only caring when it became a big deal in the papers that delayed punishment. In fact, the players unions basically rolled over in the PA and Ray Rice cases because of PR issues as well. If the union is against things, it’s because owners are taking player paychecks and the basic function of a union is to protect member ages. I can’t see any player’s union being opposed to real solutions like treatment and counseling/support.

     

    2) Really disagree about the restraining orders. The point isn’t how easy it is to get a restraining order, it’s how easy is it to enforce that restraining order. Real heartless victimizers aren’t often deterred by a piece of paper. And that also ignores people who have children and need a partner to help with childcare, bills and other household duties. A restraining order doesn’t solve that problem.

     

    3) I’m not sure where you got that police dispatchers #1 most common call is domestic violence. I found nothing stating that. Source? 

     

    4) Similarly, not sure where you’re getting that the most common court cases are domestic abuse or that shows that indicate domestic abuse is rarely prosecuted are wrong. The stats I saw said 8 out of 10 never result in charges being filed, let alone successfully pursued.

     

    5) Not disagreeing with you about the “it takes two to tango” aspect to some domestic abuse but (like you) I feel the need to strongly assert that verbal arguing and physical violence are two very different things. We should never diminish the horridness of slamming someone’s head of the wall by saying, “well but she was always fighting with him about things and was the one who started the argument.” Screaming and yelling isn’t health and productive but it also isn’t anything near physical violence. With that caveat noted, that cyclical thing is a real thing and is another reason that the blanket suspension/release is a terrible real-world solution. Intervention is needed, not blind mandated punishment.

     

    Thoughts?

     

    No.... i understand your post quite well and read the entirety of it.  Much of what you are stating is contradictory and there are plenty of inaccuracies and generalizations backed up by nothing.  

     

    First of all police do not prosecute ANYTHING.  They enforce the law and make arrests based on laws broken.  The judicial system prosecutes broken laws whether it's criminal or civil.

     

    Domestic violence IS a straight forward crime like DUI's, murder, etc in the eyes of the law. There are clear laws on the books AND criminal penalties for such acts.  HOWEVER, in the case of domestic abuse (unless it's made in public in front of witnesses), it's up to the victim (in most cases and most states) to press forward with charges and provide timely proof of the act.  Now some may see this as an unreasonable expectation, but the law is written this way to protect the innocent until proven guilty.  Without it you have vengeance not justice.  Remember, innocent until proven guilty.    

     

    And what do you mean DV punishments aren't really a solution?  Without laws enforced by punishment we have anarchy as a society.  On a side note, I realllllyyyy don't understand people who object to capital punishment for serial murderers and people who commit barbaric heinous crimes.  You are enabling their behavior because the penalties are not stiff enough. 

     

    Jail time plus court ordered counseling is very common for such cases that are prosecuted.  You obviously haven't been to a court room recently. Counseling is a legitimate treatment method, but obviously not everyone can be cured in every situation and it's not enough in many scenarios.  It's also an impossible expectation for the state to cure all of these cases.  If there are better solutions by all means state them here.  

     

    #1  Don't act like the player's union has no blame here.  For years if the league even hinted at toughening up on them regarding drug testing or labor conditions Ken Moffett and Donald Fehr had those guys threatening to strike.  They are just as to blame as the owners themselves.  But that's irrelevant.  The league has to choose like any employer what is except able conduct on and off the diamond.  If they are stupid like the NFL was with Ray Rice (what he did was absolutely appalling and disgusting), then they will suffer the consequences at the box office. My opinion, he should have been suspended without pay for at least a year as a minimum.  In fact given the presence of such damning video evidence i would given him a multi year ban.    

     

    #2 Actually a "heartless victimize" who violates a restraining order will be found in contempt of court and thrown in jail immediately for such acts.  And when a judge issues a restraining ordering is also respects the victims children too.  Not sure of your logic here.

     

    #3 Look harder.  DV is the #1 police dispatch call. 

     

    #4 What stats say 8 out of 10 never result in charges being filed?  Please provide sources saying so.  I think you meant to say 8 out of 10 charges filed were not prosecuted because the victim either failed to press charges or the perpetrator made a plea bargain in court with the prosecution.

     

    Who ever said that verbal and physical violence are not two different things?  Now you are really getting lost in the weeds on this one.  I don't think ANYONE here is arguing that "slamming someone's head off the wall" is justified because she was screaming at her significant other.

     

     

     

     

    Edited by laloesch
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    "Kirby Puckett was my last hero. I find it now important to separate what happens on the field of play and the person, even if that person is someone who does so much good in the community or owns a Roberto Clemente Award for community service."

     

    This paragraph is the clearest thing to me about pro athletes. It wasn't Kirby who taught me to do this necessarily, but this is absolutely how I treat players of professional sports. Most of the time when I talk about them here in forums, what I am saying is a reflection of how they have done on the physical surface the game is played. Any comment for something outside the game or them personally will be framed in that context.

     

    Another example for me is Randy Moss. LOVED him as a Wide Receiver/NFL player on my TV for the Vikings. Most exciting player in a long time to come to the NFL, was so fun to watch. But he was an absolute jerk off the field in his time(s) in Minnesota. 

     

    If I ever have kids, this is what I'll teach them about professional athletes: Love the players for how they play the game and what they can teach you or inspire you about the game. Look anywhere else for people to look up to about anything else in life.

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      On 10/26/2016 at 6:41 PM, Steve Lein said:

    Another example for me is Randy Moss. LOVED him as a Wide Receiver/NFL player on my TV for the Vikings. Most exciting player in a long time to come to the NFL, was so fun to watch. But he was an absolute jerk off the field in his time(s) in Minnesota. 

     

    If I ever have kids, this is what I'll teach them about professional athletes: Love the players for how they play the game and what they can teach you or inspire you about the game. Look anywhere else for people to look up to about anything else in life.

    Kids are going to look up to athletes when they're young... And once they grow up like us, it'll switch to a professional mentor/parent/family member or a friend. As long as you're there as a parent and teach them those life lessons when they learn their idol may be a bad person, that's all that matters.  

     

    You bring up a good alternative to justify watching certain players on our favorite teams - separating what they do on the field, and off the field. I also like Mike's approach of cheering for the uniform, not the players wearing the uniform. I've used both tactics to keep my sanity as a Vikings fan. Especially when there are current and former Vikings players who I will never forgive their actions off the football field. 

    Edited by Vanimal46
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    Hunter Smith (former punter for the Colts) wrote an interesting book called the Jersey Effect, and spoke about how we treat athletes in society in general (though in the book's case, it comes back down to many of our own idols so to speak), but one thing that he mentioned is just how much they (and himself for that matter) get coddled. You have talent, you can get away with a lot more. It makes it hard b/c many of these kids have been given far more leeway than they ever should, and not surprisingly, they turn into adults with some pretty serious flaws.

     

    For all the talk about how sports teaches character, it seems as though far more of the ones that make the professional stage seem to lack it.  This isn't to say that all athletes are bad, but I think there's something to be said to the lack of parenting many of these people have had in their lives.

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    Moderator note:

     

    1. Please keep to the topic: domestic abuse/violence at the hands of professional athletes. We aren't talking about serial murderers and capital punishment.

    2. Please do so respectfully, i.e.

    --Stop trying to control the discussion and let others have their say without being dismissive.

    --Stop with the tone and put downs when you disagree.

     

    It's a bit ironic that of all topics, I have to put up a note in this one. Control and put downs are part of the subject matter, so step back a bit and follow the above directions.

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