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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Lockout Lookup: Sam Fuld


    RandBalls Stu

    In what is hopefully the final Lockout Lookup, we discuss just one of the many 2014 Twins outfielders. This is the story of Sam Fuld.

    Image courtesy of Butch Dill-USA TODAY Sports

    Twins Video

    Subject: Sam Fuld

    Why You Remember Him: The 2014 Minnesota Twins outfield. You remember it, don’t you? The banged-up Josh Willingham. The inconsistent Oswaldo Arcia. The more inconsistent Danny Santana. The raw Aaron Hicks. The soon-to-retire Jason Kubel. The *squints at Baseball Reference, because I do not remember this guy playing in one game, much less 41* real person Jordan Schafer. And the subject of this profile, Sam Fuld.

    Fuld was snagged off waivers from Oakland in April 2014 after previous Lockout Lookup subject Darin Mastroianni struggled out of the gate and was DFA’ed. His remarkably thorough* Wikipedia page notes that he led the Twins in on-base percentage in his 53 games with the dreadful 2014 squad and you know what, I believe it.

    *Fuld’s Wikipedia page is long enough to qualify as a canonical addition to Tolkein’s Rings saga. Although hobbits and orcs aren’t mentioned, they’re implied.

    Fuld would get traded back to Oakland at the deadline for Tommy Milone, who will be throwing 86 mph fastballs in three starts for the Diamondbacks before being sent to Triple A for the rest of our natural lives.

    The Stanford product’s most notable seasons came with the Rays, who acquired him from the Cubs in the Matt Garza trade. Is Sam Fuld the most 2011 Tampa Bay Devil Ray? Discuss amongst yourselves. (John Jaso is the strongest contender.)

    What You Don’t Remember: He was the leadoff hitter for Team Israel in the 2017 World Baseball Classic.  

    What You Might Remember: His frequent Buxton-esque wall collisions in Tampa led to a #LegendOfSamFuld hashtag on the bird site.

    What’s He Up To: Fuld is the general manager for your Philadelphia Phillies. Which means that one of his special assistants last year was…Terry Ryan, the man who claimed him off waivers in 2014.

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    He signed a ball for one of my boys (who are in college now) as our family sat along the third base line. I have a big voice, so as he ran out of the dugout to the outfield I bellered, "Go get 'em, Sammy!" The guy half turned as he ran, flashed an appreciative grin, and then went to field his position. It was one of those delightful moments when the wall between players and fans melts away, if only briefly. 

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     i approve of Sam.

    Too lazy these days to read something likened in epic length to the works of Tolkien... (although i suppose it could be worse... Wagnerian in scope. Forcing me to learn another language. Although that would probably do me good)

    Did he ever get his hands on a ring, by the way?

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