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Game Thread: Twins@Astros 9/2 1:10PM


ashbury

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All 348 fans in Houston were really energized by that play. It was really nice to see Willingham at least lower his shoulder and try to jar the ball loose, rather than politely refusing to slide and accepting the tag, as we've seen lately.

 

So Plouffe has 3 hits and has managed to make two really bad outs on the basepaths. He's a multi-threat player.

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I was at a recent White Sox-Astros game in Chicago (family event I couldn't really avoid). There were several drunk hecklers in my section, right-center field. They kept heckling the Astro's right-fielder, calling him "Howe" and trying to make jokes based on Howe. Then they realized his name was actually "Hoes". It gave them great inspiration, although the security guard threatening to throw them out eventually dampened their enthusiasm.

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The Twins are playing like people act at my family reunions.

 

They seem drunk, stoned, or strung out on crack or meth. They are stumbling around, falling down, walking in no particular direction.

 

All that is missing from this game to make this comparison spot on is that no Twins player has pulled down his pants and randomly urinated in front of everyone or noticeably pooped their pants.

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  Bark said:
The Twins are playing like people act at my family reunions.

 

They seem drunk' date=' stoned, or strung out on crack or meth. They are stumbling around, falling down, walking in no particular direction.

 

All that is missing from this game to make this comparison spot on is that no Twins player has pulled down his pants and randomly urinated in front of everyone or noticeably pooped their pants.[/quote']

 

Get better fr... er, family.

 

/ edit - if I weren't already married, I'd ask if you had any eligible sisters or cousins

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  Bark said:
The Twins are playing like people act at my family reunions.

 

They seem drunk' date=' stoned, or strung out on crack or meth. They are stumbling around, falling down, walking in no particular direction.

 

All that is missing from this game to make this comparison spot on is that no Twins player has pulled down his pants and randomly urinated in front of everyone or noticeably pooped their pants.[/quote']

 

You might want to skip the next reunion.

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  ashburyjohn said:
if I weren't already married, I'd ask if you had any eligible sisters or cousins

 

(Hypothetically, If you were not married) I would be happy to set you up, If you like your women like Lenny Small, with 5-9 children, all with different fathers.

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  glunn said:
You might want to skip the next reunion.

 

Skip? He wouldn't miss it for the world!

 

  Bark said:
(Hypothetically' date=' If you were not married)[/i'] I would be happy to set you up, If you like your women like Lenny Small, with 5-9 children, all with different fathers.

 

The marriage would be hell, but oh those reunions!

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  Bark said:
(Hypothetically' date=' If you were not married)[/i'] I would be happy to set you up, If you like your women like Lenny Small, with 5-9 children, all with different fathers.

 

One of my great-grandfathers had about 26 known children, by 3 different wives. He remains one of my heroes.

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  Bark said:
I have not gone in a few years. I've got my mental plate full with our beloved MN Twins.

 

Here is what I would do if I were eligible to attend one of your reunions:

 

  1. Pick out the female relative I thought most attractive
  2. Go up each other female relative' date=' and whisper a truly revolting proposition and get my face slapped
    [*']Go last to the one selected in step 1, and whisper an offer to go inside the house to talk
  3. Wave to any of the other female relatives as we went inside
  4. ???
  5. Profit!

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  ashburyjohn said:
Here is what I would do if I were eligible to attend one of your reunions:

 

  1. Pick out the female relative I thought most attractive
  2. Go up each other female relative, and whisper a truly revolting proposition and get my face slapped
  3. Go last to the one selected in step 1, and whisper an offer to go inside the house to talk
  4. Wave to any of the other female relatives as we went inside
  5. ???
  6. Profit!

 

Ka-Ching!$!$!$!

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  ashburyjohn said:
Here is what I would do if I were eligible to attend one of your reunions:

 

  1. Pick out the female relative I thought most attractive
  2. Go up each other female relative, and whisper a truly revolting proposition and get my face slapped
  3. Go last to the one selected in step 1, and whisper an offer to go inside the house to talk
  4. Wave to any of the other female relatives as we went inside
  5. ???
  6. Profit!

Um, what if the truly revolting thing you whisper has the opposite effect?

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  glunn said:
One of my great-grandfathers had about 26 known children, by 3 different wives. He remains one of my heroes.

If I were a teenager and it was revealed to me that this was my fate. I would light up a torch and burn "it" off. 3 Wives... how did your great-grandfather do it?

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  ashburyjohn said:
Here is what I would do if I were eligible to attend one of your reunions:

 

  1. Pick out the female relative I thought most attractive
  2. Go up each other female relative, and whisper a truly revolting proposition and get my face slapped
  3. Go last to the one selected in step 1, and whisper an offer to go inside the house to talk
  4. Wave to any of the other female relatives as we went inside
  5. ???
  6. Profit!

 

If only the Twins were capable of that level of strategic thinking...

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  Quote
If I were a teenager and it was revealed to me that this was my fate. I would light up a torch and burn "it" off. 3 Wives... how did your great-grandfather do it?

 

The first 2 died, probably as a result of always being pregnant, and the final wife was about 13 years old when he married her.

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