Twins Baseball™®©2013.

Carnac: "Drool."

 

//the usual//

 

Carnac: "What does the average University of Iowa applicant get on his SAT?"

Time to bring up Sano!

As Al Bundy once said "Women, can't live with them. That's it".

 

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting... Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance... The golf pro saw her heading back:

 

Golf Pro: “You are back early, what’s wrong?”

Woman: “I was stung by a bee!”

Golf Pro: “Where?”

Woman: “Between the first and second hole.”

Golf: “Your stance is far too wide.”

Carnac: "Leave Correia in too long."

 

yada yada

 

Carnac: "How do you clear out a TD Game Thread in a hurry?"

Note to self: Next time, instead of watching a Twins game, be a good citizen - help clean up your neighborhood park.

http://greendocvick.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/syringes20used20pile20lots20medical20waste.jpg

I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

 

You sound like you've been through this drill before. Maybe many times.

Edited August 22, 201313 yr by ashburyjohn

About 25 years ago I was flying to Atlanta. All of a sudden... The Engines started sputtering and the stewardess started going through crash instructions. She said that this wasn't a drill... the plane was going to crash.

 

The lady sitting next to me looked at me and said... "If I'm gonna die this way... I wanna die feeling like a woman". She then started to take her clothes off.

 

So I took my shirt off... Handed it to her and said... "Here... Iron this".

[ATTACH=CONFIG]5298[/ATTACH]

 

Such nice young ladies. I'm sure their dates will be along any time now. Just some pleasant conversation until then.

 

/ And then the spankings. "Yes' date=' yes, you must give us [b']all [/b]a good spanking!"

Hey, if the Twins get something cooking here they can always pinch hit Joe Mau-

They can give a bat to Josh Willingha-

 

Oswaldo Ar-

 

Well maybe someone has a Rosary.

Carnac: "Leave Correia in too long."

 

yada yada

 

Carnac: "How do you clear out a TD Game Thread in a hurry?"

 

Still here, not sure why.

About 25 years ago I was flying to Atlanta. All of a sudden... The Engines started sputtering and the stewardess started going through crash instructions. She said that this wasn't a drill... the plane was going to crash.

 

The lady sitting next to me looked at me and said... "If I'm gonna die this way... I wanna die feeling like a woman". She then started to take her clothes off.

 

So I took my shirt off... Handed it to her and said... "Here... Iron this".

 

Don't leave us hanging... did she iron your shirt?

/ And then the spankings. "Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"

 

For some inexplicable reason you left out the next line.

Based on results so far the Twins clearly made the right decision in signing Correia over Sanchez.

 

One might put oneself in Sanchez's cleats and say something similar.

What? Correia gave the lead away? Shocking.

 

The ZappAvatar can only do so much, it seems.

Still here, not sure why.

 

Me, too. Need to wait until the wash is done before running to Target. But the wind is gone from my sails.

Marriage: An expensive way to get laundry done.

I give KC credit for a good road performance against a very good opponent.

Marriage: An expensive way to get laundry done.

 

I do my own laundry now. Too many broken in items were disappearing.

For some inexplicable reason you left out the next line.

 

And after the spanking, the oral history.

This game is becoming unwatchable.

This game is becoming unwatchable.

 

I was just going to say that. Sad and pathetic.

I give KC credit for a good road performance against a very good opponent.

Hey Glunn, if I am reading your post right, you must have gotten that Medical Mary-Jane prescription for Twins Induced Anxiety.

This inning brought to you by the Alexi Casilla Play-a-Like Club.

I'm still gonna watch it to the bitter end.

ChiTown: Doctor... It's the weirdest thing... For the past 3 days... Every time I sneeze... I have an orgasm.

 

Doctor: Really... That is very strange. What have you been doing.

 

ChiTown: Snorting Pepper

Dozier with an error, now we run up the white flag, right?

Remember when Dozier was a good fielder?

Missing: 1 Chumbalone

 

If found, call 763-555-1234

 

http://i.imgur.com/ewZ2Y6I.jpg

In a blowout loss like this, time to break in a rookie Rally Avatar.