What I Wish the Twin’s Front Office Would Say About 2022 (Part 1)

[Snarkier Than Reusse]

After the Twins abysmal 2021 season ended, Twins GM Thad Levine summed it up by spewing this line of business-speak (BS). Honest to God, the Star-Tribune really quoted him.  With enough clicks on https://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html, I suspect one could generate a similar BS statement.

“We try to be as responsible as we can in forecasting the scope of possible outcomes, and the performance our team had on that spectrum,” Levine said the other day. “I can guarantee you it wasn’t an outcome that we spent a lot of time scrutinizing and preparing for because we were expecting the much better end of the spectrum of outcomes. It certainly was not on our radar screen of possible or even likely outcomes.”

“Then you layer on all the early challenges associated with COVID and our team actually having a bit of an outbreak early in the season,” Levine said. “Then the civil strife in our community. Those are all things above and beyond baseball that are meaningfully more important in the grand scheme of life.”

That’s not meant as an excuse, he said. “I’m certainly not trying to make any excuses. But the rash of injuries we’ve had, some performances that we certainly were not expecting or anticipating, I do think if we’re being completely transparent and aware, those things have had an impact on our franchise and our community at large, and I think as well they should.”

What is different in 2022? STR (yours truly) is now faced in 2023 with a fourth consecutive season of protest by not wearing any of my Twins gear or attending a game until they win a playoff game.  Mrs. STR may have cheated and donned her Punto jersey, but I can’t prove that and she’s not confessing.

Unsubstantiated rumors have Twins owner Jim Pohlad, apparently in awe of such BS when he hired Levine, is considering saving some money and replacing him with an online BS generator.  In a spirit of helpfulness, I humbly submit to Mr. Levine the following 2022 season assessment in an unfamiliar language called Brutal Self-Assessment (BSA).

(Thad Levine steps up to the podium.)

Hello Twins fans! Thank you for being loyal despite our team not having won a playoff game since Oct. 5, 2004.  Really?  The iPhone hadn’t been invented yet.  There are people old enough to vote who haven’t seen a Twins playoff win.  I was hired in late 2016 to change that, and after six seasons we are still oh-fer.  One definition of progress is not having to deal with the same problems as last year.  My 2022 BSA is that we haven’t made much progress in my six years. I am sorry.

The 2022 American League Central was very winnable.  Yes, injuries did rob us of winning performances from many players.  But it was our decision to build a team around often injured players like Buxton, Sano, Lewis and Kirlilloff.  We rolled the dice and lost.  We built a pitching staff of a few inexperienced men and older guys past their prime.  We dumped one annoying expensive free agent and got one who is a great team guy and played very well.  We competed well early.  But the season is long and as anyone with open eyes could expect, the young guys had some success and struggles and the older guys were shown for who they were.  Injuries may have prevented us from winning the Central, but we would have gone nowhere in the playoffs.  I am sorry.

There are three things that almost every man thinks he’s better at than the person who is actually doing the job.  They are building a fire, running a bar or restaurant, and running or coaching a sports team. In Part 2, I’ll take you through some of our shortcomings as my new BSA sees them and I’ll leave it to Twins Daily commenters to offer helpful suggestions.  Because frankly, I could use some help

[LastOnePicked]

Brilliant post. Absolutely brilliant. 

Brutal Self-Assessment is probably what this team needs the most. At this point, I'd even settle for Raw Honesty. I think I'd respect Levine more if he just said, "Hey, to all the fans who are upset, stuff it. You're all just jealous that Derek and I have found a boss who will never hold us accountable for failure. No, we didn't win this year, but we weren't really trying to win. In 2021 we said 2023 was the goal. Next year we'll say 2025 is the new target. Like it or not, we got a good thing going here and we're not gonna ruin it by jacking up expectations. We won 100 games in 2019 - that ought to buy us about 20 years of iron-clad job security in this miserable little baseball market. Don't like it? Go hug your commemorative World Series Wheaties box and have a good cry in one of your Homer Hankies"

Instead, we constantly get the absolutely insufferable BS corporate speak you quoted. As a fan, I can't stomach it. 

[ashbury]

2 hours ago, Snarkier Than Reusse said:

But it was our decision to build a team around often injured players like Buxton, Sano, Lewis and Kirlilloff.  We rolled the dice and lost. 

I see this as the heart of the problem.

Lewis probably doesn't belong in the same list because he started the year in the minors and earned his way up.  And to a great extent I offer patience when a FO has to "play the hand they are dealt", because Buxton/Sano/Kirilloff were all brought in by the prior regime, and I can imagine that any trade talks weren't going to bring equal value in return (of course with perfect hindsight we might have taken a decent offer for any of them).

But where I fault the FO is 1) talent evaluation and 2) lack of a perceived Plan B when injuries occur.  Buxton, for instance, requires a highly competent backup, someone so good in fact that he deserves "starter's minutes" in LF or RF.  Kepler used to be that guy, but evidently he isn't given that role now, because the first player to start a game in CF in 2022 when Byron got a day off was... Gilberto Celestino.  I think highly of him as a prospect, but he's still only 23 and the FO looks as though they went all-in on him, and/or went all-in on Buxton never playing hurt.  Looks like a serious mis-evaluation of his readiness for the Show.

The same philosophy seems to permeate the roster, with an apparent belief that loading up on pitchers who will need to be given light loads would pay off.  It didn't.  Trading away one veteran catcher in Garver was reasonable, but trading away the young backup was reckless, and when the one who remained got injured we were suddenly very thin. Et cetera et cetera.

We were treated to playoff teams in 2019 and 2020, and told that the down year in 2021 was just a fluke.  Now we're getting mixed messages on just how close we are to needing a full rebuild.  Two bad luck seasons in a row?  I'd like an actual rebuild to be managed by a different FO - I'm not seeing any special sauce at the end of their sixth year.

[Mike Sixel]

I have no idea why anyone cares what a GM or manager says in public. 

[Battle ur tail off]

15 minutes ago, Mike Sixel said:

I have no idea why anyone cares what a GM or manager says in public. 

Because they come off as smug and act as if eveything negative that happened wasn't their fault. Fans still pay the players and their salaries.

If they would come out and say: Hey, we miscalculated a few things and it is obvious that the way we handled the pitching staff can't be so rigid going forward. We are researching and going to make changes that puts us in the best position to win every single night. We also ackknowledge that we have to do something about all these injuries and from now on, we are going to do our best to prevent them. 

Instead, it sounds like: Hey, we are smarter than most teams and definitely smarter than all of you fans. Things that happened are out of our control but we will continue to beat our heads against the wall until our way, which by the way, is the right way in case you forgot, works. 

 

 

[CRF]

I gotta admit...that's a pretty good line of B.S. you have there, but George Strait said it best.

If you leave me
I won't miss you
And I won't ever take you back
Girl, your memory
Won't ever haunt me
'Cause I don't love you
And now if you'll buy that

I've got some ocean front property in Arizona
From my front porch, you can see the sea
I've got some ocean front property in Arizona
If you'll buy that, I'll throw the Golden Gate in free

I don't worship
The ground you walk on
I never have, and that's a fact
I won't follow or try to find you
'Cause I don't love you
Now if you'll buy that

I've got some ocean front property in Arizona
From my front porch, you can see the sea
I've got some ocean front property in Arizona
If you'll buy that, I'll throw the Golden Gate in free

I've got some ocean front property in Arizona
From my front porch, you can see the sea
I've got some ocean front property in Arizona
If you'll buy that, I'll throw the Golden Gate in free

Yeah, if you'll buy that, I'll throw the Golden Gate in free

 

We've been buying "Ocean Front Property" here in Loserville for over 30 years. It's about time we got the Golden Gate again. Just sayin'.