Confessions of a Hit and Run Tourist - Day Twelve

[Riverbrian]

I have recently completed a solo 18 day road trip covering 8 ballparks, 9 games, 14 states, national parks, normal tourist traps and not so normal stops. My fairly new 2022 Kia Seltos had 6,400 miles on it before the trip and the journey tacked on 8,522 additional miles. Some of you may find this interesting and some may say what's the big deal, it's a crazy man with a torture filled vacation plan. I was encouraged to tell the story here by individual day because it would be a very lengthy post if not broken down by day. Some days are not that interesting, some days were more interesting than others and some days need a new adjective, but each day was different and they were days that I couldn't experience in my living room. 

Feel free to comment, shake your head at my moments of stupidity or tell your own experiences of the places I experienced. This is hit and run tourism... I didn't have a lot of time to hit all the stops but I wanted to hit all the stops because who knows if I would ever be back in any of the areas travelled. I researched and scheduled the trip to the minute and followed the schedule to the letter. 

Day Twelve - August 9 - San Diego to Beverly Hills

If I had a date circled on the calendar during this road trip... I didn't... but if I did, today would have been that day. Not only would the Twins be playing the Dodgers in L.A. tonight but this morning I have planned a trip to another country. I have never been to Mexico, no Cancun, No Cabo and Mexico has never been closer to my reach than right now. I'm in San Diego and I've got a little time on my hands this morning so I made a plan for Tijuana, The San Diego Zoo and then off the L.A. Here's the thing though... I didn't want to drive the Kia in. I've seen the long line of cars at the port of entry on the news and I didn't want take that much time, I wanted to get in... buy a hat or something and get out. I budgeted for a half hour. Hit and Run Tourism is what I do. 

Making my plans, using North Dakota Internet, I discovered a walking bridge for border crossing... that is perfect. I'll walk in and walk out. OK... I know... Some of you already see the problem but I'll keep going to let the story unfold before you. I drive down to San Ysidro, found a parking lot maybe a block from the walking bridge. The bridge isn't much but it leads to a big mostly empty building that I assume was Mexico Customs. I really have no idea because I really didn't think everything through... this walking bridge was supposed to be magic. There were two uniformed border guards, a scanning machine of sorts and another guy... not in uniform and that guy starts talking to me in Spanish... I tap my chest and say "English" and he simply says... "Passport". I hand him mine, he looks at it for about 3 seconds, hands it back to me and waves me forward. It was that easy to get into Mexico. There is downward path to the left hugging the customs building with a wall on the other side. You can only see straight ahead, its like a funnel that way and it leads to a body sized turnstile... which you spin through and BAM... you are in Mexico.

I am immediately greeted by two unconscious souls laying on the sidewalk right by the turnstile... one of which... I'm no doctor but I'd say 50/50 if he was dead or not. He looked horrible, his exposed skin was red and blistering, his body was contorted in an odd shape that did not look comfortable for anyone passed out. I stopped and tried to comprehend what I was looking at and I am just a couple of seconds into Mexico. On the street just a few feet away about 5 taxi's were lined up and the drivers were outside the car shouting Taxi, Taxi, Taxi to get my attention, there were also a couple of food vendors, not far from the two sleeping in the hot sun, there was also a pharmacy across the street. Surely someone would have tended to this guy if he was dead. So, I know it sounds horrible but I continued on, besides I didn't have the time to tend to a dead guy. I waved off the Taxi drivers because I had a plan. It was just a half mile walk to the west and a plaza with all things Mexico just waiting for me to make a purchase. During this hike, you pass by a couple more passed out individuals and people with hat in hand sitting next to the passed out people. I have to admit, I'm not real comfortable at this moment but I remain fearlessly naïve and I continue my journey. walking up and over the main highway to the busiest point of entry in the U.S. I looked down on all the cars waiting to get through and I was thinking, "good thing I didn't try to drive". I arrive at the Plaza, I find a big open space with mostly closed or bordered up businesses but the pharmacies were all open for business. I didn't need a pharmacist, I'm not going in any deeper, I really want to go home now. I call an audible and decide that I'll have food from one of the food vendors that I had walked past and Mexican food in Mexico will be my south of the border experience and then I'll walk back across that walking bridge, just to be done with this.  

I retraced my steps to the food vendor cart, I looked at his sign and I didn't know what it said and therefore I didn't know what he was making. He starts talking really fast in Spanish I tap my chest and say "English"... he shakes his head signifying no. We kind of look at each other for a little bit, saying nothing. I point to his cart and I hold up one finger and say "One". Yeah I know... Uno but he understood, because he made two of whatever it is he was making. I still don't know what he made me but he held up two fingers and I gave him two dollars and the transaction was complete.  Whatever meat it was... was shredded, it had a lot of cilantro on it and on the third bite... there was a bone. OK... That's enough of that... time to go and I walked over to the same body length turnstile that I entered Mexico through, next to the passed out people, who were still there passed out and the turnstile didn't turn the other direction. I'm standing here on the edge of Tijuana... my plans are broken to pieces in my hands... my mastery of the English language is apparently useless. I don't have a back up plan... I was supposed to cross the bridge back and forth. It only does the forth part. 

I see a police officer, I walk over to her, she doesn't speak English... I start playing charades to communicate. Me (Pointing at Me) Walk (Two Fingers walking across my arm). America (I don't know why I threw my arms out wide when I said America). She nods, she put her hand on my shoulder and lightly pushed me for a block (her hand stayed on my shoulder) and then she pointed to the west.  So, I walked that way as instructed. I arrive at... THE LINE. Looking to the north at the point of entry, I was quite a ways from it and this line was at a stand still. I start walking south, looking for the end of the line and I keep walking with these thoughts ringing in my head, THIS WAS A DUMB IDEA, YOU COULDN'T BE MORE STUPID, WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN, OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS YOU COULD DO, 

Some of you are already thinking to yourself... Why didn't I just (insert something sensible here)? I didn't do something sensible because I didn't know what I was doing or what was sensible, I didn't know anything. I did no training for this. I found a walking bridge on Google Maps and said... That should do it, I had 18 days to plan and my planning was not sufficient for this, my preparation was not sufficient for this. I have no experience here and my naivety without fear, propelled me into this situation. This is the equivalent of telling a story of trying to repair plumbing with a straw and plumbers listening to me are thinking "use a wrench, you idiot". I have no defense but in my defense, my flimsy plan hinged on a walking bridge that went both ways, that was the extent of my planning and that wasn't possible. At this point, I am willing to fly out of Tijuana because I don't know what my options are. 

As I'm kicking myself, I have a moment of clarity... The Taxi's... maybe I can take a Taxi like Herb Alpert. So... I walk back to the row of Taxi's. They all shout Taxi, Taxi, Taxi like I'm Tom Cruise. I walk up to the first one and I say "America" while doing the steering wheel thing with my hands. I swear to god... he points at the ground and says "Mexico". It has been suggested to me by others that Tijuana is perhaps the most English speaking city in Mexico. It has been suggested that the people that I am encountering are just playing dumb. Maybe... but if this is true, they are incredible actors. Anyway, I find out that the Taxi's do not cross the border so I tell myself to stop, relax, let's solve this. I sit down on the sidewalk, next to the dead guy (He's breathing He's Fine) and I do something that I should have done BEFORE I CROSSED THAT BRIDGE. I typed into Google... "How do I get out of Tijuana"? The search results said that there was a shuttle to the border with a dedicated lane but Google wouldn't tell me how to find these shuttles so I go back to the Taxi drivers and I am playing charades again trying to get them to take me to this shuttle. I didn't have a universal hand signal for shuttle so this was harder... but one of them seems to understand, because he opens the Taxi door and he nods his head assuredly so I get in the back of the Taxi trusting that I'm not on my way to Acapulco. He brings me to the... THE LINE. 

OK... I'm back at this line, still in search of the shuttle that could solve my problem. I let the Taxi go because I wasn't about to do another bee dance in front of all these witnesses who have been standing in line since February. I walk away from the line, whip out my phone and I google how to say "Where can I find the Bus to America". I look for the most trustworthy looking person that I could find, reading from my phone I say, "Donde Puedo Encontrar El Autobus America". It worked because he answered me directly... in Spanish. This created a new problem... I now had to enter what he said to me into the phone to translate it back. I don't know how to spell what he just said, I don't even retain what he just said. I just nodded my head confidently and said Gracias, because I had no chance. I was back near the line again, pondering a solution, when I was approached by a man who spoke English, he asked me "Do you want pass"? His job was to walk the line and ask if anyone wanted to purchase a pass on one of these mythical shuttles I guess, I didn't know this was what he did all day so I'm immediately confused and my mind was swimming so hard that even English wasn't making sense to me. I'm thinking "A Pass for What?" but I don't say anything because I don't know what he is selling me and I just want to get back home. He waits a bit for me to respond and I haven't... so... he says... "You don't want to wait in this line, too long" and now my brain starts going back into gear and I speak... "no... no I don't want to wait in this line". He says... "I have pass... 10 dollars". At this point, I put all of my trust in this stranger. He says again "10 dollars" but I'm reluctant to pull out my wallet with a lot more than 10 dollars in it. I ask him "How does this work" and he says "a bus will take me to the front" and I ask, "where is this bus"? He says "come" and just like that I'm following a potential English speaking serial killer as he leads me to a place where he can steal my wallet and dispose of my body next to the other dead body by the turnstile. He walks me about 4 blocks to a building with a bunch of buses around it. He holds a pink colored pass and says 10 bucks, and I now give him ten bucks. He points to the building with a window and he went back to the line to sell some more I guess. 

I hand the pink ticket to the guy in the window, he says "passport", I hand him my card, he types, stamps the pink ticket and hands both of them to me and he says nothing. All he said was Passport during the whole deal. I ask him which bus because there were 6 or 7 parked on the street by the bus parking lot and he doesn't respond, I see a guy who looks like he belonged walking by so I ask him, which bus and he says "not here" and he leaves. I am now back to the window. "Where is the BUS? The guy in the window is not responding, I'm back to getting frustrated. someone else comes by and I'm given a 20 minute wait estimate, so I stand in this bus parking lot and wait and I trust no one. As I wait, some more people show up and wait with me. I ask is this the shuttle to the border to just confirm and they say yes... I feel a little better and I continue to wait. Two different shuttles pull into the lot and drop off passengers, I try to get on after the passengers depart and the driver each time says "no no no" After around 50 minutes of waiting in this parking lot, the correct shuttle shows up. Then I sat in the bus for an additional 30 minutes while the driver waited for the entire shuttle to fill up. The shuttle indeed had a dedicated lane to the point of entry. I went through customs, I was asked what I was doing in Tijuana and I didn't know what to say. I just said that I have never been to Mexico before and wanted to. I exited through some doors... Off to the right of those doors was that walking bridge that started all of this. I went the opposite direction. 

Here's the deal... when putting this trip together, I wanted to experience things that I couldn't in North Dakota... I achieved that and more this morning. There is no question that my stupidity took this new experience to a whole new unnecessary level but without a doubt, it was an experience that could not happen in my living room... And... And... most importantly... I learned something important about myself... I am terrible at charades.

Back in the safety of my Kia, because of all the time spent in Tijuana, I had to cross the San Diego Zoo off my list and that's probably a good thing because the way the morning was going... I probably would have taken a wrong turn and ended up in a cage. So, I loaded up the truck and I'm off to Beverly. Hills that is. Ok... I'll finish that thought... Swimmin Pools... Movie Stars. Yeah... the next 4 nights... I'll be roughing it in Beverly Hills. For those who have never been to Beverly Hills... I can say without a doubt that it is better than Tijuana.

I can't express how grateful I was for the hospitality offered by my dear friend Glunn. It was wonderful to leave your luggage in one spot for 4 nights after the unpacking and packing during the spree of hotels on this trip and in a location that was so central to everything that I wanted to do while I was in the area. I couldn't have asked for anything better from anyone better. I had contacted Glunn to let him know I was coming, I was hoping he might want to go to game, or maybe we could grab some lunch while I was in town and he right away offered me a roof over my head. I know I told him that I really really appreciated this but on the long drive back home, I was wondering if I adequately expressed how much I appreciated it because it was such a gift. Great Accommodations and Great Company... and... and... he speaks English very well... which was perfect because I was in need of some rehabilitation. I met Glunn many years ago right here on Twinsdaily. It's proof that you can make some really great friendships on a website like this.

I pulled up to his place mid-afternoon, I was really hoping to not be disruptive, I knew that Glunn worked very hard, with important clientele. I really really did not want to be disruptive to his schedule at all, his individual work hours I assume are high value. Just taking the time out of his day, to greet me, to open the doors, give me a tour of his place, a key, remote for the garage so I could come and go as I please was not taken for granted by me. He ran back to work for a while before we left for Dodger Stadium. There is so much to see in L.A. so the first thing I did was sit down and watch a little T.V.  They have a great channel where I was able to watch some old Odd Couple episodes, I had forgotten what a great show that was. There wasn't really enough time for any exploration and I'll be honest, after this morning, my carefree exploration confidence had run out of gas, besides, I have 3 days to check it all out without time constraints ahead and I got plans for that.  

It is about 11 miles to Dodger stadium. In North Dakota it takes 10 minutes to cover 11 miles, in L.A. it takes 3 full days, you have to bring snacks. In reality, we made pretty good time especially when you consider that we left during rush hour, arriving with enough time to walk around the stadium, grab a beer and a Dodger Dog before finding pretty decent seats behind home plate. Yes, we made pretty good "L.A." time and I was enjoying the traffic jam conversation so it was comfortable, but let's be clear... Getting to Dodger stadium compared to every other stadium is difficult at best and I got the impression that the hour drive covering 11 miles with Glunn at the wheel was the best that could be done. Dodger stadium honestly would have been high up my rankings if it wasn't so difficult to get there, along with the lack of interesting food choices. Otherwise, it is a beautiful stadium that has withstood the test of time. 3rd oldest ballpark in MLB. I do prefer a skyline outfield backdrop, like Target Field or Petco or PNC but at Dodger Stadium you get the San Gabriel Mountains as a backdrop and nobody has anything like that.

How was the legendary Dodger Dog? It was a hot dog, just like the hot dog that you can buy in North Dakota. I am suspicious that marketing may have enhanced the status of the Dodger Dog or perhaps, the Dodger Dog just stands tall amongst what I would describe as typical, routine ball park food. However, I hadn't eaten since that bone-in taco this morning so I did find it delicious but my shoe would have tasted pretty good at that point. Once again I forgot to grab napkins, Glunn did not. He's pretty prepared... when we got to the parking lot, he took copious notes on his parking spot so we could find it afterward, he noted nearby trees, how the vehicle lined up with the stadium, he copied down the make, model color and license plate of every car within a mile. he installed fireworks firing cannisters behind his vehicle that would shoot fireworks into the sky if none of the above methods worked. Personally, I made a mental note that there was a sign that said "5" nearby. His method was better.  

Joe Ryan was getting lit up, the Dodgers just got done sweeping the Soto infused Padres and were on an 8 game win streak in total and they were 15-3 since the all-star break so the Twins were catching the Dodgers at the wrong time and it wasn't pretty. Keep in mind, 10PM in California is 12 midnight to my body clock and I was still adjusting to that, I was tired, I was going to be at the game tomorrow night, I knew that Glunn had his eye on the ballpark exit traffic so I suggested that we call it a night around the 7th inning because the Twins were getting beaten handily, still caught a late night traffic jam on the way back but it was just fine. The traffic jam conversation was once again good.  

He has a patio that is very relaxing as you wind down the day. Tomorrow I'll be a tourist in L.A... I'm scheduled to depart at... Turns out... I'm not scheduled to depart at any time.  

  

   

 

[Squirrel]

Well, journeys are about learning and growth. I hope there was some of that with that trek to Mexico 

[Riverbrian]

43 minutes ago, Squirrel said:

Well, journeys are about learning and growth. I hope there was some of that with that trek to Mexico 

Oh Yeah... I learned a lot while learning absolutely nothing at the same time. If I had it all to do it again... I'm still going to Tijuana... Just more prepared, eyes a little more open and not quite so fearless. 

Oddly, I have always had an appreciation for things going wrong because that is the stuff that you retain. Part of the reason, why I'm working hard putting these notes together is because I know that over time, the details of this trip will fade. In a couple of years, the memories that remain strong will be the situations that occurred in Tijuana.  

Imperfections are the good stuff in life. I never try to hide the stupid things that I've done, I tell my kids everything stupid I've ever done. When you sit around with your loved ones at Thanksgiving and you are laughing and talking about the old days, you never say "Remember that time when everything went perfect"... You talk about the time you drove the car through the garage door and everybody has a good time laughing with you. I don't embarrass easy. Tiny tragedies are just that... tiny. Tomorrow is a new day.  

Yes it was tense, Yes it was stupid but it's mine now and I'll gladly take ownership. It didn't ruin my day or trip one bit. It cost me a Zoo. ?    

[MMMordabito]

Now it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable palpitating, and even gruesome, may make a good tale, and take a deal of telling anyway. - J.R.R. Tolkien (The Hobbit)

[ashbury]

My eldest son went to collitch in San Diego.  He, like every other freshman, went to Tijuana during that first week.  He, like 99% of all other students there, never went again.

I like your quote about never reminiscing about when everything went perfect.  And yet, I just completed a 10-day trip where everything really did go perfectly, and I take tremendous satisfaction from that, apart from the pleasure of seeing relatives and long-ago or long-distant friends (50-year HS reunion and so forth), which was tightly packed and carefully scheduled so as to fit everyone in.  Different personality types make the world go round.  

[glunn]

9 hours ago, Riverbrian said:

Oh Yeah... I learned a lot while learning absolutely nothing at the same time. If I had it all to do it again... I'm still going to Tijuana... Just more prepared, eyes a little more open and not quite so fearless. 

Oddly, I have always had an appreciation for things going wrong because that is the stuff that you retain. Part of the reason, why I'm working hard putting these notes together is because I know that over time, the details of this trip will fade. In a couple of years, the memories that remain strong will be the situations that occurred in Tijuana.  

Imperfections are the good stuff in life. I never try to hide the stupid things that I've done, I tell my kids everything stupid I've ever done. When you sit around with your loved ones at Thanksgiving and you are laughing and talking about the old days, you never say "Remember that time when everything went perfect"... You talk about the time you drove the car through the garage door and everybody has a good time laughing with you. I don't embarrass easy. Tiny tragedies are just that... tiny. Tomorrow is a new day.  

Yes it was tense, Yes it was stupid but it's mine now and I'll gladly take ownership. It didn't ruin my day or trip one bit. It cost me a Zoo. ?    

At least you avoided the Salton Sea, which makes Tijuana seem like paradise in comparison.  And the drive to Dodger Stadium was faster than usual -- LA afternoon traffic is usually worse than what we experienced and like Rain Man I am a very good driver.  ?

It was great spending time with you --  a highlight of my summer.  I wish that you had spent the entire 18 days here.  Joey and Rosie miss you.

 

[Riverbrian]

11 hours ago, glunn said:

At least you avoided the Salton Sea, which makes Tijuana seem like paradise in comparison.  And the drive to Dodger Stadium was faster than usual -- LA afternoon traffic is usually worse than what we experienced and like Rain Man I am a very good driver.  ?

It was great spending time with you --  a highlight of my summer.  I wish that you had spent the entire 18 days here.  Joey and Rosie miss you.

 

If the Salton Sea smells real bad. I should have smelt it. ?

[glunn]

7 hours ago, Riverbrian said:

If the Salton Sea smells real bad. I should have smelt it. ?

The problem with that is that once you are there it takes time to get away from the smell, and a lifetime to try to forget it.

[glunn]

If you were to mix a million rotting fish with a million gallons of sewage then boil it for a year with a million pounds of sulfur then add a million pounds of toxic waste then that would smell a million times better than the Salton Sea.

[Riverbrian]

1 hour ago, glunn said:

If you were to mix a million rotting fish with a million gallons of sewage then boil it for a year with a million pounds of sulfur then add a million pounds of toxic waste then that would smell a million times better than the Salton Sea.

I didn't bring my swim trunks with. 

[glunn]

1 hour ago, Riverbrian said:

I didn't bring my swim trunks with. 

They would have disintegrated once you hit the "water".