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Article: Series Preview: Twins vs Mets, 4/12

Brock Beauchamp

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ashbury Cooperstown

ashbury

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Why did the Vanimal cross the road?

 

To lay an egg at Target Field.

 

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar. "Pitch for Worley," he tells her.

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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
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Vanimal walks into a bar... The Priest and Rabbi Ducked...

 

Horse walks into a bar... Vanimal is tending bar and asks why the long face. Horse say evolutionary design. Vanimal doesn't understand what the horse said and gives up 9 runs in 1 inning.

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ashbury Cooperstown

ashbury

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Two cowboys are out on the range, when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He rides twenty miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says, "but here's what you do. Take a knife and cut the wound, and remove the poison with your mouth." "I ain't doin' *that*,"the cowpoke protested. "Take Vanimal with you," the sawbones says, "he sucks". Vanimal then proceeds to give up 9 runs in 1 inning, and the wounded cowboy is saved.

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ashbury Cooperstown

ashbury

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Well that makes 2 tailor made double plays botched

 

Worley with the bad start, Trevor with an error, Florimon with an error... for those of you keeping score at home, that's WTF.

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ashbury Cooperstown

ashbury

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding half a worm.

Q:What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?

A: "Now pitching, Vance Worley."

 

What's 6'2", 230 pounds, and has a great ERA?

Vance Worley, I lied about the ERA.

 

What did the Devil say to the lawyer?

"At least neither of us is Vance Worley."

 

I'm gone, g'night. Leaving the avatar up in case it brings any cheer.

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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

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I get to watch my kid in the first playoff game of her pro career tomorrow. If they win, I'm heading out to Italy to watch the rest. I doubt I'll miss much with the Twins.

 

You should explain... That's sound kinda cool.

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Gibby First Round Pick

Gibby

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She was an All American middle blocker for the Gophers volleyball team. She now plays on the National team, and is playing pro in Italy in the off season. I spent February over there watching her, and spent last winter watching her play in Japan. Soon as the playoffs are over I get her back home for a couple weeks before she has to hit the gym in Anaheim.

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