You’re a Seattle Mariner. Congratulations! Here’s how you can enjoy a relaxing day in the Twin Cities.Welcome to town! You have a rare Friday off during the regular season. You’re probably wondering what you can do. To be clear, there’s a very real chance you can’t leave your hotel because of MLB’s COVID protocols, but I’m not going to look that up. So, in case you have some mobility, here are some things to pass the time in our wonderful state.

 

CONSIDER GLENCOE: A community about 45 minutes west of Minneapolis. Not only do you get to drive by the Bongards Cheese Factory Store and right through the bafflingly-named Norwood-Young America, but once you get to Glencoe, there’s a Burger King, a Subway, and Bump’s Family Restaurant. It’s had an operating post office since 1856. Wow!

 

GO TO THE MALL: We have many malls. Rosedale, the Mall of America, take your pick, buddy. Do you like Sephora? We’ve got ‘em! Get a new signature scent to mark the time you’ve spent here. Hit up Goldy’s Locker Room for a Gophers hoodie to let people know you’ve been here! Food court lunch? Friend, you can have a food court lunch in so many places. It’s been said the Orange Juliuses in Minnesota have more real orange flavor. I can’t prove this!

 

WATCH A MOVIE: Minnesota’s theaters are starting to reopen, and you can go to any one of them to watch Godzilla and Kong beat the hell out of each other. Can you do that in Seattle? Maybe! I could probably Google it! But, you’re here today and it’s cheat day for your training regimen. Get that extra squirt of butter on your popcorn, champ.

 

WALK AROUND A LAKE: Sure, Seattle is on Puget Sound. But we have many fine lakes with walking paths. And you don’t need a ferry to get to any of them. It’s supposed to be rainy, but you’re from Seattle! You’ve got this! Go to one of our poncho stores if you need raingear!

 

GO TO A MUSEUM: I’ve been to a museum in Seattle. It was fine. But have you ever wondered what a Minnesota museum looks like? This question is rhetorical! We have a butt-ton of museums around here. Become a learned man of letters on your day off.

 

ORDER PIZZA: You’re probably bushed from all the activities you’ve engaged in above. Time to relax. In Minnesota, you can use your cellular telephone to order a delicious pizza, and they’ll bring it to your hotel room! Whoa! Some of them even cut it in squares instead of the traditional slices. Also whoa!

 

This only scratches the surface of the fun you can have on your day off in Minnesota. Come back after the season ends and spend a week! You can take part in some trademark Upper Midwest autumn fun, like yelling at our professional football team or raking leaves and taking them to the neighborhood yard waste disposal and compost site. Good luck doing that in Tacoma.

 

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Almost makes me miss Minnesota... almost .

After you're done in Glencoe, don't forget to swing north through Darwin on your way back to visit the Twine Ball. 

 

You can't walk around a sound!

 

You can't walk around a sound!

Correct... you can only hear it .

Historical sites are also worth it. Check out scenic Fort Snelling overlooking both the mighty Mississippi river and the Minnesota.

After a short drive (2 1/2 hs, not much) you can go and see the Paul Bunyon statue in Brainard. 

Don't forget the websites - Minnesota's got quite a few. I particularly recommend Twins Daily to any visitor walking around with a cellphone wondering what to do next.

This weather today should make them feel right at home. 

You know ... I should offer to give them a tour ... I could show them the Mary Tyler Moore house near Lake of the Isles. Wouldn't have to drive far to see that gem!

Al's Bar in Glencoe as it used to be known was a great little watering hole...not sure if it's the same type of joint now after changing ownership. Played in a softball tourny back in 98. One of the most fun tournaments I have ever played in.

Is Valley Fair still the goto place for rollercoasters? Been a couple decades since i went on the corkscrew. Alas, i presume it is closed in these covid times.

There might be some town ball in Vergas they could check out. Maybe the coaches would let Vogelbach play shortstop.

Al's Breakfast is closed but our guests could avoid COVID spread by ordering a quart of pancake batter and a pound of bacon. Whip up a batch and cook it up on the ol' hotplate, boys.

They could visit the famous Crisco Court where Mary Tyler Moore once threw up a hat or the site of the old Metrodome which is now a bank, I believe.

And since Friday was your day off, you can be assured your taxes will be higher than when you first came to town for the Twins homestand! Since you're a jillionaire, you won't even notice it!

I like all the exclamation points!