This seems quite strange, but an anonymous MLB team is advertising an internship through a posted Fangraphs article.

 

Job Listing: Major League Team Internship | FanGraphs Baseball

 

In the comments below, Dave Cameron makes it clear this is legit. If this was the Twins, does it mean their single advanced metrics intern has quit?

If this was the Twins, does it mean their single advanced metrics intern has quit?

Possibly. It would also serve for a nice JR sound clip in a month or so saying they "recently doubled the size of the statistical department".

Confirmed with a Twins source: It is not the local team.

Confirmed with a Twins source: It is not the local team.

 

Obviously. The Twins would never use the google to bring in someone. You can't feel someone's handshake or look them in the eye online.

Obviously. The Twins would never use the google to bring in someone. You can't feel someone's handshake or look them in the eye online.

 

And you have no idea If they have a Good Baseball Body. Easily my favorite scouting phrase of all time.

Are they looking for someone with a "Good Computer Analytics Body"? Because I feel as though most of us would fit that description.

And you have no idea If they have a Good Baseball Body. Easily my favorite scouting phrase of all time.

 

Or whether or not they have an ugly girlfriend.

 

By their own inadvertent admission, the Twins are looking more and more like the Moneyball parody of the cro-magnon scouts volleying cliches back and forth. Still hoping it's a smokescreen, and a brilliant disguise for the Twins' secret Manhattan Project-like effort to revolutionize sabermetrics.

 

But since Doogie Wolfson mused in a podcast with Gleeman that a Twins official admitted to him that he didn't like Edwin Jackson because of what he saw when scouting Jackson pitching in high school, I'm less hopeful than ever.

Methinks that the team in question is hiring an analyst/statistician/sysadmin/DBA all in one. From that description:

The internship will provide exposure to all departments within baseball operations. Responsibilities include overseeing updates to our baseball databases, monitoring the import of data feeds, assisting with general baseball ops related administrative tasks, maintaining databases and spreadsheets, staying current on external research, as well as supporting the department in other ways as directed.

 

Candidates must be passionate about baseball and be able to communicate effectively in an office environment. A familiarity with current baseball research and analytics is required and experience with Microsoft SQL Server is preferred. Demonstrated analytic skills, experience in statistical analysis software packages and knowledge of a scripting language are all pluses.

Still hoping it's a smokescreen, and a brilliant disguise for the Twins' secret Manhattan Project-like effort to revolutionize sabermetrics.

I like the idea of Ryan as FDR and the unpaid stat intern in the Oppenheimer role. Is there a way to get JR a mistress, a wheelchair, and polio just to add to the effect?

I like the idea of Ryan as FDR and the unpaid stat intern in the Oppenheimer role. Is there a way to get JR a mistress, a wheelchair, and polio just to add to the effect?

 

Awesome. And fitting, since Oppie was investigated by his own country and accused of being a subversive or even a traitor as he labored to give them the single largest military technology advantage since the invention of the firearm. Think Gleeman would be up to the intern role?

 

Ryan's opening line of the press conference: "One and two thirds innings pitched, 8 earned runs and two home runs allowed. May 20, 2012 is a date which will live in infamy."

I like the idea of Ryan as FDR and the unpaid stat intern in the Oppenheimer role. Is there a way to get JR a mistress, a wheelchair, and polio just to add to the effect?

 

They could, but the Twins' health insurance plan doesn't cover diseases.

They could, but the Twins' health insurance plan doesn't cover diseases.

Can we get the team barber to just let enough blood or keep enough leeches on him to render him perpetually too tired to stand up?

I'm pretty sure we could get someone under the knife for Tommy John surgery under the guise of polio.