Bally Sports North Runners-Up Revealed

[RandBalls Stu]

Bally won the rights to put its name on the former Fox Sports North channel. Twins Daily gets an exclusive look at the brands that missed the cut.Sinclair Broadcasting, owner of the Fox Sports regional networks, revealed Wednesday that Minnesota Twins games would be carried on Bally Sports North this year. The gaming and casino company will be lending its name to all the former Fox networks.

 

While we still don't know if any of these games will be available to non-cable households, we do have the names of the failed suitors for the sponsorship, plus analysis from a Sinclair executive close to the negotiations. Please credit Twins Daily if you choose to share these:

• MyPillow Sports North. ("The owner didn't want to actually carry any games, he just wanted to run a livestream of him yelling about Georgia voting machines. Weird dude.")
• KARE11 Sports in the Backyard. ("They wanted to do all the pre and post-game shows from their backyard weather studio. We would have done that, but they also wanted a half-hour every week where KARE meteorologist Belinda Jensen would fight one of our announcers with her bare hands. We gave it a whirl and it became clear this wasn't a culture fit. The Bally's Corporation would also like to take this time to wish a speedy recovery to Tim Laudner as he recovers from what doctors call a 'classic Western Wisconsin beatdown.'")
• Joe Mauer's Sports Machine. ("Obviously Joe would have been a great partner for any Minnesota sports network. But when he found out these games would be carried on cable he had to back out. Apparently his mom told him cable TV is where they show boobs, butts, and swears, and he didn't want her to get all sore.")
• Minnesota Public Television Presents: Sports. ("Public television is not known for live sports coverage, but this seemed like a really intriguing partnership. Unfortunately the BBC just released all seven seasons of The Vicar's Regret, a British drama about 18th century manners and society. Between that and pledge drives we would have been forced to air all our games after Arthur but before Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.")
• Minnesota Sports With Chip and Joanna Gaines. ("They wanted to plaster Target Field with shiplap and farmhouse sinks. It was a non-starter. And Chip would not shut up.")

 

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[wombat28]

Very funny article, but you forgot Sid's Sports Show, featuring Sid...... never mind.

[mnfireman]

I thought that this forum wasn't for political views......

 

[Dave The Dastardly]

You overlooked the bid from Joe Bob's Conspiracy Channel. They planned to carry all Twins games on You Tube with each game exposing the latest conspiracy theory to keep the Twins from winning the game. They'd already line up a couple dozen anonymous internet sources to provide the inside scoop for the Game Conspiracy of the Day. The plan was to expose the latest conspiracy during the 7th inning stretch, put it up on the bigboard, though the revealer would be one of those talking shadows, his voice disguised by a digitizer, his face covered by a catcher's mask... you know, to lend credibility to the thing. The bid fell through when MLB discovered Joe Bob was actually two guys; Vladimir and Chiang and their real goal was to convince Americans the real US national pastime was soccer. They actually had a line of designer shorts they were hoping to push; Red Neck Shorts the called them. They featured a snoose pocket on the expandable waistband for tucking in chewing tobacco and two deeper, insulated pockets, one on each thigh, for holding a couple cans of beer. I'm glad MLB put the kibosh on this bid, otherwise us baseball fans would take it in the shorts.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Isn't Bally a pinball game maker of old?

 

The opposing team has been replaced by drop tragets, and you have to shoot it through the pitcher's legs to light the extra ball.

 

Also don't let the ball go down the dug outs.

 

Game called on account of tilt. Some one banged the tv too hard.

[adjacent]

 

I thought that this forum wasn't for political views......

That is the real joke: That the My Pillow guy is part of politics right now

[Richard Swerdlick]

Now if they could only figure out a way so we can stream it at a reasonable price.