The cable network that carries the Twins is getting a name change. Will these proposed holiday specials finally see the light of day?The recent announcement that the regional Fox Sports networks would be rebranded under the Bally’s name (and allow you and the other degenerates in your family to bet on a Mariners game) has led to a lot of speculation. Most of it is centered on non-cable subscribers trying and failing to access the station. A more important question, though, regards the fate of proposed holiday programming that previous ownership rejected.

 

This list, obtained by Twins Daily sources and confirmed by departed executives familiar with the situation, might yet come to fruition.

• A Totally Randy Christmas. Twins pitcher Randy Dobnak celebrates the holiday in song with other famous Randys. His duet with Randy Travis on “What Child Is This?” will bring a tear to your eye.
• Marney Gellner’s Winter Wonderland. The FSN studio host and sideline reporter steps out of the arena and into the season with this winter-themed variety show. Join her and sidekick Paul “Meatsauce” Lambert as she visits Santa's workshop, creates her favorite holiday drinks, and follows her true passion of mixed martial arts as she chokes out all comers in the Renters Warehouse Octagon.
• Christmas With Dick. Twins play-by-play legend Dick Bremer narrates “The Night Before Christmas” in front of a roaring fireplace. (NOTE FROM MGMT: Might want to change name to be more inclusive of other traditions. Dick for the Holidays a better call? Let’s table this and reach out to stakeholders.)
• Die Hard Watch Party with Joe Mauer. The 1988 Bruce Willis classic has become a counterintuitive holiday favorite over the years. Follow along with Twins legend Joe Mauer as he views an edited-for-television version of the film as his mom “doesn’t much care for swears and boobies.”
• Tom Kelly Criticizes Todd Walker’s Christmas Lights. (NOTE FROM MGMT: This started as a project for the former Twins manager to visit the homes of retired players for the holidays but it just ended up with him mocking Todd Walker’s Christmas lights in front of his wife and kids for over three hours. It's already filmed but the sheer scale of the emotional violence may not be seasonally appropriate.)

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Fa la la la funny.  Well done.  Still laughing.

Maybe they could catch up with former Twin Jeff Holly.

 

I would watch the Tom Kelly special.

 

Nothing wrong with Die Hard neither.

the last one cracked me up 

So funny!

I'd like to see a "Who shotgunned it best" show where former/current Twins race to shotgun beers. First episode featuring Kent Hrbek, Jim Thome, Jason Kubel, and Nick Punto (hard seltzers). 

"Tom Kelly criticizes Todd Walker's Christmas lights" is your best line to date, Stu.

 

And that's a very high bar to leap. Very high indeed.