Deep Fried Turkey Accidents as Twins Playoff Losses: Twins Daily Investigates

[RandBalls Stu]

As our nation undergoes the annual rite of smoldering garages and overwhelmed burn wards, it's more important than ever to understand it in the context of the Minnesota Twins and their playoff performances.Every year, the Minnesota Twins find a way to disappoint in the playoffs. Every year, America finds a way to keep insurers from enjoying their Thanksgiving dinner in peace. Are these two things connected? We're just asking questions. The silence that follows speaks for itself.

 

An exhaustive Twins Daily investigation has determined that the following videos of what our nephew Travis calls "epic Thanksgiving fails" best reflect each postseason failure since 2004. It's science, and as we've seen this year, you can't argue with science.

 

The 2006 ALDS (Torii Hunter dives; Torii Hunter misses)

 

The 2010 ALDS (First year in Target Field, but it sure didn't feel any different.)

 

The 2009 ALDS (PHIL EFF WORD CUZZI)

 

The 2020 AL Wild Card (You remember this! It just happened!)

 

The 2004 ALDS (This disappointment can get its license now. Just like you, Travis.)

 

The 2017 AL Wild Card (We were so excited to be back in the playoffs! Then the playoffs started!)

 

The 2019 ALDS (Just...man. I mean.)

 

When you see it all laid out like this, it's a bracing reminder that history doesn't repeat, but if often rhymes. Then it burns down your outbuilding.

 

Image license here.

 

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[ashbury]

Coming next: the Dumpster Fires that were the 2011-14 and 2016 seasons.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Science may discover the underlying principles, but how do we apply them to achieve results. This sounds like a job for... Engineering.

 

So...

 

If we cook our turkey over a dumpster fire, we will win in the playoffs?

[IndianaTwin]