5 Weird Promotional Ideas the Twins Could “Steal”

[Patrick Wozniak]

It’s going to be a while before any of us have the chance to obtain any new promotional giveaways from Target Field, but with time comes opportunity. The opportunity to get weird.Whenever fans can return to games (presumably in 2021) it will undoubtably be glorious, but also probably a bit strange. The Twins might as well embrace it and give away weird stuff. Chris Landers of mlb.com wrote a list of each MLB team’s weirdest promotional items ever and the Twins would be wise to “steal” a few ideas for whenever fans return.

 

On the topic of wisdom and stealing, a wise woman who I happen to be married to once explained what stealing isn’t to me. I was stirring my morning coffee when I took a moment to admire the nice little spoon in my cup. Strangely the word “Delta” was imprinted on the handle. “Did you steal this from the plane?” I asked my wife. “No,” she patiently informed me, “I just took it without asking.” The Twins could take a few of these great ideas (without asking of course) and even give them some slight alterations to make them their own. Today we’ll take five from the list and give them a Minnesota twist.

 

5) The “Gardy” Bear

 

In 2012 the Tampa Bay Rays honored baseball-lifer Don Zimmer with the Zim Bear, which as the name implies, was a teddy bear with Zimmer’s face attached to the front. The Twins have the advantage of already having a bear for a mascot, so why not make mini T.C. Bears with former manager Ron Gardenhire’s face plastered on? And what better occasion then when the Detroit Tigers come to town? Don’t get fired Gardy!

 

4) Sergio Romo Beard Hat

 

You know those Jamaican/Bob Marley hats with the dreadlocks attached? Same idea here, but with Sergio Romo’s beard attached. This is kind of a combination of the Joe Mauer sideburns giveaway listed as the Twins all-time best giveaway and the Colorado Rockies Charlie Blackmon beard giveaway. But with a Jamaican hat. Make it happen ‘mon!

 

3) Willians Astudillo Chia Pet

 

This is a blatant rip-off of the Washington Nationals 2016 Bryce Harper Chia Pet giveaway. I don’t care and neither should the Twins. At this point in the quarantine I pretty much have Harper-esque hair. That’s nothing to be proud of. But you know what I would be proud of? Willians Astudillo’s hair. If any player’s head of hair was ever made to be venerated in the form of a Chia Pet, it’s Astudillo’s.

 

2) Triple Beer Night

 

Beer prices at the ball park have gotten out of hand. Yeah, it’s nice to have our favorite craft brews available at the park, but is it worth drying out my kid’s college fund just to get a buzz? It didn’t used to be this way.

 

Cleveland infamously held a ten-cent beer night in 1974 (each purchase limited to six beers, but no limit on the number of purchases!) which admittedly led to some problems (i.e. riots). But Cleveland, Minnesota is not, and that’s not what we’re going for here. Our idea is based on the Houston Astros Beer giveaway (also in the mid-70’s, what a time to be alive), where they gave each adult a free beer when a homer was hit by an Astro on an even-numbered minute. With the Bomba Squad this give away might cost the Twins millions, but what if we changed it to triples? Nothing’s better than a triple…except for a free beer (or three?). I can already hear the chorus of “boos” that would come raining down after a Buxton inside-the-park homer.

 

1) Max Kepler’s Car

 

In 1992 the Toronto Blue Jays announced Derrek Bell’s car was being given away over the loud speaker. Joe Carter actually drove Bell’s Jeep onto the field while an unamused Bell looked on. It was just a prank, but it had Bell fooled. Minnesota could do a similar giveaway but with Max Kepler’s car. What kind of car does Kepler drive? How would he react? There’s only one way to find out!

 

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[JDubs]

I'd be down for another disco demolition night. Maybe pair it with a 10 cent beer night and let things get really fun

[ashbury]

2015 called, they want their "X Weird Tricks" trope back.

 

[nclahammer]

I created a custom Minnesota Twins hat with instant Joe Mauer sideburns fattache don the sides for Halloween one day, and sent a picture to the Minnesota Twins and pitched it as a possible SGA.  That was a few years ago, nothing yet.

[sftwinsfan]

10 cent beer night was always an interesting Wikipedia read, along with disco demolition night and in general Ty Cobb's page. Plenty of crazy stuff. 

 

Because he grew up in Germany, although not Bavaria the team could maybe jokingly throw out a Max Kepler Lederhosen night. Maybe a commercial for it with Max showing up at the ballpark wearing Lederhosen like that's his everyday dress.  I guess I kind of miss those old Twins commercials that had a little goofiness to them. 

[Nine of twelve]

 

I'd be down for another disco demolition night. Maybe pair it with a 10 cent beer night and let things get really fun

Don't stop there. In addition to that make it 10 cent ticket night and 10 cent hot dog night.

[Nine of twelve]

A number of years ago Reusse somewhat seriously proposed "Baseball Only Night". The only things allowed on the scoreboard would be balls, strikes, outs and the line score. I suppose you could display who is batting, who is pitching, and minimal statistics such as pitch count or the BA of the batter but no photos or videos. The only advertising would be the permanent billboards. The only audio would be organ music, announcements of lineups at the beginning of the game, who is batting, and lineup changes. And I think fireworks after a home run would be acceptable.

The breaks between half-innings would NOT be exempt from these constraints.

As for me, even though this will never happen I would certainly want to attend on such a night.

[mlhouse]

I always thought they could promote a night were Willians Astudillo plays all 9 positions.

[nclahammer]

 

I created a custom Minnesota Twins hat with instant Joe Mauer sideburns attached on the sides for Halloween one day, and sent a picture to the Minnesota Twins and pitched it as a possible SGA.  That was a few years ago, nothing yet.

 

[ashbury]

I always thought they could promote a night were Willians Astudillo plays all 9 positions.

He's still tinkering with his knuckleball, before attempting that.