Which Minnesota Twins Player Would Make the Best Survivor Contestant?

[Matthew Taylor]

Wednesday night marked the finale of the long anticipated “all-winners” season of Survivor. As I was watching last night’s finale, I couldn’t help but think to myself, which current Minnesota Twins player would make the best Survivor contestant? Let's figure it out.If you’re not a Survivor fanatic like I am, let me quickly run through how the smash hit reality show works. The game starts with 18-20 castaways, divided into two tribes. Over the course of 39 days, the players work to provide food, fire and shelter for themselves. Additionally, the players compete in challenges where they can win rewards or immunities. Throughout the 39 days, they players use social and interpersonal skills to form bonds and avoid being voted out by their fellow contestants in a voting ritual called tribal council. The game proceeds until all contestants have been voted out and only one “sole survivor” remains.

 

In order to figure out which Minnesota Twins player would make the best Survivor contestant, we’ll lay out the attributes that the ideal Survivor contestant must possess. These attributes will be laid out in the form of a tribal council. The three worst performing players in each attribute will be voted out in that tribal council.

 

Starting off our “season” of Survivor will be the 18 best current Minnesota Twins players, according to 2019 fWAR. The 18 players will be split into two tribes of 9, the pitchers and the batters. Let’s begin Survivor: Twins at War!

 

Our castaways (18): Josh Donaldson, José Berríos, Max Kepler, Nelson Cruz, Jake Odorizzi, Jorge Polanco, Mitch Garver, Homer Bailey, Miguel Sanó, Byron Buxton, Kenta Maeda, Michael Pineda, Luis Arráez, Taylor Rogers, Eddie Rosario, Tyler Duffey, Trevor May, Rich Hill

 

Tribal Council #1 (Batter Tribe): An ideal Survivor contestant must be in good physical condition.

Criterion: Sprint speed

 

The physical aspect of Survivor is critical to the success of a contestant. The physical part of the game wins challenges which win reward and immunity challenges that would get our players far in our game. The criterion used to determine physical condition in the case of our game will be sprint speed. The strongest physical players in our game are Byron Buxton (30.3 ft/s) and Jorge Polanco (28.2). In Survivor, it’s typically the weakest players who get voted out first. In Survivor: Twins at War, the weakest players who the batter tribe will vote out will be Nelson Cruz (25.3), Josh Donaldson (25.8), and Mitch Garver (26.3). Nelson, Josh, Mitch...the tribe has spoken.

 

Remaining castaways (15): José Berríos, Max Kepler, Jake Odorizzi, Jorge Polanco, Homer Bailey, Miguel Sanó, Byron Buxton, Kenta Maeda, Michael Pineda, Luis Arráez, Taylor Rogers, Eddie Rosario, Tyler Duffey, Trevor May, Rich Hill

 

Tribal Council #2 (Pitcher Tribe): An ideal Survivor contestant must have good luck.

Criterion: HR/FB%

 

While many parts of Survivor have to do with skill, there is still a large part of Survivor that is luck. Whether it’s the randomness of a hidden immunity idol or a timely tribe swap, luck plays a huge factor in who advances in the game. The criterion used in Survivor: Twins at War will be for the pitchers tribe and will be HR/FB%. HR/FB ratio is typically a good determinant of which pitchers are lucky. A low HR/FB % means that a large number of fly balls that a pitcher surrendered stayed in the ballpark, which is typically determined more by luck than skill. In our game of Survivor, the lucky will advance. The luckiest contestants on the pitcher tribe in 2019 were Jake Odorizzi and José Berríos who posted an 8.80 and and 12 HR/FB% respectively. Our unluckiest contestants, and the next players voted out will be Rich Hill (22.2), Tyler Duffey (16.3) and Taylor Rogers (15.4). Rich, Tyler, Taylor...the tribe has spoken.

 

Remaining castaways (12): José Berríos, Max Kepler, Jake Odorizzi, Jorge Polanco, Homer Bailey, Miguel Sanó, Byron Buxton, Kenta Maeda, Michael Pineda, Luis Arráez, Eddie Rosario, Trevor May

 

Tribal Council #3 (Batter Tribe): An ideal Survivor contestant must be patient.

Criteria: Pitches per plate appearance

 

Another essential attribute that an ideal survivor contestant must possess is patience. In Survivor, one can’t play too hard too fast or they will be seen as a threat. As a result, players need to be patient and wait until the perfect time to make a big move. In Survivor: Twins at War, patience will be determined by pitches per plate appearance. The strongest remaining players on our batter tribe that possess this quality are Miguel Sanó (4.34) and Luis Arráez (4.06). The least patient remaining players on the batter tribe and who will be voted out will be Byron Buxton (3.5), Eddie Rosario (3.51) and Max Kepler (3.62). Byron, Eddie, Max...the tribe has spoken.

 

Remaining castaways (9): José Berríos, Jake Odorizzi, Jorge Polanco, Homer Bailey, Miguel Sanó, Kenta Maeda, Michael Pineda, Luis Arráez, Trevor May

 

Tribal Council #4 (Pitcher Tribe): An ideal Survivor contestant must be versatile.

Criteria: # of pitches in arsenal

 

In the game of Survivor, players can’t play with just one style of play but must be versatile in how they play the game. Players need to be honest, sly, trustworthy and deceiving all at the same time. In the Twins at War, versatility will be determined by the number of pitches in the arsenal of our pitcher tribe. Trevor May, Homer Bailey and Kenta Maeda each are versatile with 5 pitches in their arsenal, while Michael Pineda, José Berríos and Jake Odorizzi lack versatility with just 4 pitches in their arsenal. Michael, José, Jake...the tribe has spoken.

 

Remaining castaways (6): Jorge Polanco, Homer Bailey, Miguel Sanó, Kenta Maeda, Luis Arráez, Trevor May

 

Tribal Council #5 (Merged Tribes): An ideal Survivor contestant must have experience.

Criteria: Service time

 

Survivor just had an all-winners season of Survivor and it was the best-played season in Survivor history. The season showed that experience absolutely matters in Survivor. In order to measure experience in Twins Survivor, we will use service time. Homer Bailey is the leader in this department with 11 years of experience while Arráez (.121), Polanco (3.024), and Maeda (4) all fall short. Luis, Jorge, Kenta...the tribe has spoken.

 

Remaining castaways (3): Homer Bailey, Miguel Sanó, Trevor May

 

Final Tribal Council: An ideal Survivor contestant must be able to make social connections.

Criterion: Career number of teammates

 

More than anything else, Survivor is a social game. In the game of survivor, a player must be able to make strong connections with the players in his tribe and succeed at forming bonds with as many different players as he can. In the Twins at War, this will be determined by the career number of teammates that a player has had. The remaining player who has connected with the most players in his career will be able to make the most connections and garner the most jury votes en route to a Survivor victory. In 3rd place is Miguel Sanó who has made 140 career connections. In 2nd place is Trevor May who has made 141 career connections. And with 368 career connections, your winner of Survivor: Twins at War is……….Homer Bailey! Congratulations, Homer!

 

What do you think about how Survivor: Twins at War played out? Do you think Homer Bailey would make for the best Survivor contestant? Leave a comment and start the conversation!

 

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[ashbury]

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.

 

I can't quibble with your approach, but I somehow think that either Josh Donaldson, Sergio Romo, or Jorge Polanco would survive and take top honors.

 

I don't know enough about Homer Bailey to rule him out, on these subjective grounds, though.

[Halsey Hall]

Homer Bailey would never win.  Zero social skills.  He'd go out quickly.  I'd Take Max to win it all.  Nice work, by the way!

[Teflon]

I think a better test of survival skills would be if they could find decent toilet paper anywhere.

[terrydactyls]

These are definitely desperate times for Twins Daily writers.

[TFRazor]

This is easy. Turtle power. He might not win, but he'll be entertaining for however long he lasts.

[Dave The Dastardly]

Wait... what? Real people actually watch a fake reality show?

 

Please Lord, bring back baseball before we all go crazy.

[ashbury]

These are definitely desperate times for Twins Daily writers.

We commenters run into similar challenges.

[The Wise One]

Jake Cave or Tyler Duffrey. It is usually the under the radar people who used to win.

 

[The Wise One]

 

Wait... what? Real people actually watch a fake reality show?

 

Please Lord, bring back baseball before we all go crazy.

These are the times that what is fake and what is real becomes a legitimate question. 

Sometimes it all boils down to what you want to believe.

If someone is watching entertainment programming on television and are entertained by it, good for them. Nobody should be assailed for watching it.

[Bomba2026]

My fav show after Sports....Well Max Kepler would have all the women wanting to be in his alliance...Buxton would win all the challenges unless he bangs his head into a coconut tree on day 2...and can I toss Kent Hrbek on the island cuz that guy can fish!!