"How hard could it be?"Twins Daily has learned that the Minnesota Twins plan to replace the human who portrayed beloved fake bear TC with a real, live bear.

 

“It’s no secret that baseball’s fan base is aging, and we need to appeal to a younger crowd if we want to grow the sport,” said Twins GM Thad Levine. “The market research is clear. Millennials and Gen Y crave authenticity and a lack of artifice. Parading a grown man in a bear costume about Target Field just doesn’t land with them. We’re going to give them something real.”

 

Sources tell Twins Daily that the team is already auditioning bears in the Ely area to replace Greg Wilfahrt, the man who portrayed TC the last two decades.

 

“There was some pushback within the organization,” said a front office source with knowledge of the process. “Lots of ‘What if it eats a baby or Max Kepler’ scenarios. They’re fair points, but at the end of the day, how hard could it be? They’re just big dogs. We’ll put up a few extra nets and give them some peanut butter.”

 

Levine says the Twins hope that the new TC will continue to perform their predecessor’s duties.

 

“The home run contests in the outfield are probably just a matter of coaching the new TC up,” said the GM. “James (Rowson, Twins hitting coach) isn’t afraid of a challenge. And while there’s definitely been some static about having an enormous bear guided only by an urge to feed and mate visiting hospitals, we’ve seen how patients’ eyes light up when TC enters their room. Those service elevators are pretty big, gotta figure we can squeeze a bear and, say, Sergio Romo in there.”

 

This is not the first time the Twins have attempted to use an actual bear as its mascot. With Wilfahrt battling the flu, the 2009 team brought a brown bear named Patches on its offseason Twins Caravan. It later mauled 23 at a Fergus Falls steakhouse before being subdued by Kent Hrbek.

 

Image license here.

 

Click here to view the article

It later mauled 23 at a Fergus Falls steakhouse before being subdued by Kent Hrbek.

Yes, but how many were then mauled by Kent Hrbek? HOW MANY?

Whenever a business decides to do this, it's prudent to have a tranquilizer handy, for there is safety in numb bears.

This reminds me of when I took my young niece to a Twins game. After we met TC she looked concerned and whispered to me, "Aunt Sarah, TC's eyes don't move..." 

Hilarious! Thanks for making my Friday.

 

Can’t help but notice he didn’t say they could squeeze Astudillo into that service elevator with the bear.

Also I love the idea of Hrbek just being g a full time bear manager with the club. It feels like that’s his calling.

I didn't see it mentioned so please clarify; how were they planning on putting the TC mascot outfit onto a live bear? 

I didn't see it mentioned so please clarify; how were they planning on putting the TC mascot outfit onto a live bear? 

Carefully. Carefully. Careful - L - Y .

 

But aren't they worried the bear will go rogue and eat the squirrel? I mean, that's my concern.

 

But aren't they worried the bear will go rogue and eat the squirrel? I mean, that's my concern.

win-win, as I see it.

"...Greg Wilfahrt, the man who portrayed TC the last two decades."

 

pfft. Not the most famous Wilfahrt in Minnesota history. 

 

http://www.ipapolkas.com/blog/otw-portfolio/whoopee-john-wilfahrt-deceased-category-inducted-1976/

 

 

"...Greg Wilfahrt, the man who portrayed TC the last two decades."

 

pfft. Not the most famous Wilfahrt in Minnesota history. 

 

http://www.ipapolkas.com/blog/otw-portfolio/whoopee-john-wilfahrt-deceased-category-inducted-1976/

Big Whoop?

 

win-win, as I see it.

 

May my many, many, many, MANY cousins infest, er, I mean, take up residence in the attic of your home.

 

...there’s definitely been some static about having (a representative of the Twins) guided only by an urge to feed and mate visiting hospitals...

 

I think it'd be pretty easy to go through past Twins' rosters and confirm that this should be a non-factor in terms of precedent.

Would the lack of opposable thumbs hinder the bear's ability to work the T-shirt cannon?

Borrrring. 

 

Whenever a business decides to do this, it's prudent to have a tranquilizer handy, for there is safety in numb bears.

I don't think I've commented since the Game 1 loss.  I've been, perhaps ironically, or punically, too numb.  You have revived me with this comment.

Priceless journalism...love love LOVE it.