This winter has been a little different than past winters. A typical winter would have the occasional 30 below days and the occasional 30 above days. Neither of those extremes happened this year. Instead, it was a constant below average all winter long, never extremely cold or unseasonably warm, just a constant below average and this seems to have carried on into April.

 

This is the backdrop for Opening Day in Minnesota. You can go build a snowman outside and then go watch the SanoMan at Target Field.1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories):

 

Youngstown, Ohio is having a problem with zombie raccoons. Authorities have received over a dozen calls in recent weeks about odd raccoon behavior inside the city limits. The raccoons have been seen approaching people, standing up on hind legs, showing their teeth and then falling over unconscious. These raccoons are quickly rounded up by authorities and then euthanized. Meanwhile, Carrot Top is allowed to continue doing whatever it is that he does without intervention.

 

2. Our Twins:

 

I don’t know how the Orioles and Pirates are going to rank at the end of the year or even how they rank right now, but after five games against the Orioles and Pirates on the road, I’m satisfied with the 3-2 record as the Twins return to Minnesota for the home opener. We haven’t seen anything concerning at all: the hitting has been good, the starting pitching has been good, the bullpen has been good. Welcome home, Twins! Don’t do what I do when I get home… you need to keep the momentum. What do I do when I get home? I’ll leave that up to all of your imaginations.

 

3. The Mariners:

 

Both the Twins and Mariners have identical 3-2 records just 5 games into the season. The Twins are tied with the White Sox for the AL Central lead. The Mariners are already 15 games behind the Houston Astros.

 

4. Today’s Joe M Conversation:

 

Morgan: I can’t believe how cold it is here! It’s April… it isn’t supposed to be this cold!

 

McCarthy: I don’t feel a thing… 100 degrees… 10 below. It’s all the same to me.

 

Mauer: Yeah, you never see a ghost wearing a coat.

 

McCarthy: That’s true… Besides… coats would make us less stealth-like.

 

Montana: I’m warm guys… I’m not wearing a coat, either.

 

Morgan: How can that be?

 

Maddon: Thermoreceptors

 

Mauer: What?

 

Maddon: Thermoreceptors

 

Morgan: (Stares at Maddon for a while) (Turns to look at Montana) How can that be? How are you warm?

 

5. Job Negotiation:

 

I just went through a brutal job negotiation, it was worth it because you have to make your deal going in. The final negotiation sticking point was an office with a window. I’m happy to say that we were able to reach a compromise. I get the office with the window but I’m not allowed to look outside.

____________________

 

Lineups:

 

MARINERS

Dee Gordon(L) CF

Jean Segura(R ) SS

Robinson Cano(L) 2B

Mitch Haniger(R ) RF

Kyle Seager(L) 3B

Daniel Vogelbach(L) DH

Ryon Healy(R ) 1B

Ichiro Suzuki(L) LF

David Freitas(R ) C

 

James Paxton (L) P

 

TWINS

Brian Dozier(R ) 2B

Joe Mauer(L) 1B

Miguel Sano(R ) 3B

Robbie Grossman(S) DH

Byron Buxton(R ) CF

Max Kepler(L) RF

Ryan LaMarre(R ) LF

Ehire Adrianza(S) SS

Mitch Garver(R ) C

 

Kyle Gibson (R ) P

 

Game-time forecast: Do I really need to go there? Okay, I will. Cloudy, 37-38 deg F, 10% chance of precipitation, winds at 7mph from the WSW. And I think this will be the best of the weather for all the games, unless any are post-poned.

 

Click here to view the article

I'll probably be home in time to catch the last inning or two on TV. Of course I'll be clicking back and forth to watch UMD beat OSU as well.

Meanwhile, tonight Phil Hughes will start for the Miracle. Gametime temp should be around 80 degrees.

Would a bullet train between MSP and Fort Myers be cheaper than putting a retractable roof on?  The Twins could play early and late season games where it is warm, while still allowing the hometown fans a chance to watch.  Plus, you could maybe come up with a marketing deal with the nickname.  Kind of a fire and ice thing.

I have been to Grand Forks. I am surprised to see a window is a negotiating point? That said, I am TiVo'ing "The Terror". Last night I was flipping between game and Terror. One show had human beings struggling in horrific weather, and the other had ships stuck in the ice.

I've had some trouble logging into the site during game action - is TwinsDaily "down" for anyone else during peak times?

I just went through a brutal job negotiation, it was worth it because you have to make your deal going in. The final negotiation sticking point was an office with a window. I’m happy to say that we were able to reach a compromise. I get the office with the window but I’m not allowed to look outside.

You came out better than I did. My desk is by a window, but I'm not allowed to look inside.

You came out better than I did. My desk is by a window, but I'm not allowed to look inside.

A desk by a window? Must be nice!

Carrot Top is not only alive and well, he's currently doing six shows a week (dark Tuesdays) at the Luxor in Vegas, with tickets starting at $49.95.  

 

I fear for our country.

 

I've had some trouble logging into the site during game action - is TwinsDaily "down" for anyone else during peak times?

Only to protect the innocent.

I see the raccoons are possibly inflicted with distemper? Luckily I have all my shots. Speaking of, I recently was coerced into getting my very first flu shot. There were immediate results. In several days I had a headache, runny nose, burning eyes, and borderline narcolepsy. While I am glad I turned down the rabies shot, I am still concerned about the hoof in mouth one I received.

I'll be the ice cube in Section 215. 

Finally. Someone mentioned raccoons, so now I can tell my favorite raccoon story. It happened back when my daughter was in diapers, on a blazingly hot summer night. My wife came home from book club and hurriedly punched the garage door opener to close the door. She pressed too lightly, and at about 1AM I hear this scuffling and chatter in the garage, so I quietly open the service door to see a large raccoon, *ss end up, reaching into the garbage can. So I poke him in the butt with the ice chopper, close the lid on him, place a construction block on top, and head back to bed, thinking it serves the rascal right to spend the night with the garbage he so covets. He's a whiner, like Dozier and bunting, so I get back up and wheel the thing out to the curb, but the stupid thing keeps screaming to get out and he's throwing himself at the lid, clearly irritated. Eventually, I fall asleep, and in the morning, all is quiet. I remove the block from the can, and tip it towards the street, thinking he'll scramble out and hobble away. Instead, he rolls out, dead, followed by about the worst odor you can imagine. Ends up he was asphyxiated by my daughter's soiled diapers. To this day, whenever someone mentions raccoons when she's around, which we almost invariably do, one of us tells the story about how she ruthlessly killed a raccoon when she was two.

 

I'll be the ice cube in Section 215. 

 

Got it.  We'll look for ya on TV.

Carrot Top is not only alive and well, he's currently doing six shows a week (dark Tuesdays) at the Luxor in Vegas, with tickets starting at $49.95.

 

I fear for our country.

On the flip side, isn't it good for the country that we quarantined him in Las Vegas so he's no longer touring throughout the US?

On the flip side, isn't it good for the country that we quarantined him in Las Vegas so he's no longer touring throughout the US?

Well at least it's doubtful he can bankrupt all those casinos?

 

You came out better than I did. My desk is by a window, but I'm not allowed to look inside.

winner.

 

/end thread

I'm starting a new job at a new company on Monday. The office is located at the Dell headquarters, but we're moving locations in 2 weeks.

 

For the time being, the company is set up in Michael Dell's private basketball court on the 3rd floor of the building.

 

Basically the company I'm going to be working for is the Milton of Dell.

 

Finally. Someone mentioned raccoons, so now I can tell my favorite raccoon story. It happened back when my daughter was in diapers, on a blazingly hot summer night. My wife came home from book club and hurriedly punched the garage door opener to close the door. She pressed too lightly, and at about 1AM I hear this scuffling and chatter in the garage, so I quietly open the service door to see a large raccoon, *ss end up, reaching into the garbage can. So I poke him in the butt with the ice chopper, close the lid on him, place a construction block on top, and head back to bed, thinking it serves the rascal right to spend the night with the garbage he so covets. He's a whiner, like Dozier and bunting, so I get back up and wheel the thing out to the curb, but the stupid thing keeps screaming to get out and he's throwing himself at the lid, clearly irritated. Eventually, I fall asleep, and in the morning, all is quiet. I remove the block from the can, and tip it towards the street, thinking he'll scramble out and hobble away. Instead, he rolls out, dead, followed by about the worst odor you can imagine. Ends up he was asphyxiated by my daughter's soiled diapers. To this day, whenever someone mentions raccoons when she's around, which we almost invariably do, one of us tells the story about how she ruthlessly killed a raccoon when she was two.

?

 

You expected raccoons to be mentioned on a TD game thread?

 

Not quite sure what to make of that. I mean, there is a certain amount of twisted logic that goes with that expectation.

 

I'm starting a new job at a new company on Monday. The office is located at the Dell headquarters, but we're moving locations in 2 weeks.

For the time being, the company is set up in Michael Dell's private basketball court on the 3rd floor of the building.

Basically the company I'm going to be working for is the Milton of Dell.

Congratulations I'm sorry to hear that?

Congratulations I'm sorry to hear that?

If there's any consolation I can practice my jump shot during training sessions!

I wonder if snowmobiles will be used to transport relief pitchers from the bullpen during this home stand?

 

 

Got it.  We'll look for ya on TV.

Today was a good day.  Home opener makes it a good day one way or another.

I wonder if snowmobiles will be used to transport relief pitchers from the bullpen during this home stand?

What happened to the bullpen cart idea?

winner.

 

/end thread

Then why are people still posting?

 

What happened to the bullpen cart idea?

I think maybe the idea was dropped when Kyle Petty and Kevin Harvick signed up to be drivers.

Finally. Someone mentioned raccoons, so now I can tell my favorite raccoon story. It happened back when my daughter was in diapers, on a blazingly hot summer night. My wife came home from book club and hurriedly punched the garage door opener to close the door. She pressed too lightly, and at about 1AM I hear this scuffling and chatter in the garage, so I quietly open the service door to see a large raccoon, *ss end up, reaching into the garbage can. So I poke him in the butt with the ice chopper, close the lid on him, place a construction block on top, and head back to bed, thinking it serves the rascal right to spend the night with the garbage he so covets. He's a whiner, like Dozier and bunting, so I get back up and wheel the thing out to the curb, but the stupid thing keeps screaming to get out and he's throwing himself at the lid, clearly irritated. Eventually, I fall asleep, and in the morning, all is quiet. I remove the block from the can, and tip it towards the street, thinking he'll scramble out and hobble away. Instead, he rolls out, dead, followed by about the worst odor you can imagine. Ends up he was asphyxiated by my daughter's soiled diapers. To this day, whenever someone mentions raccoons when she's around, which we almost invariably do, one of us tells the story about how she ruthlessly killed a raccoon when she was two.

Is this a metaphor for domed baseball? I like it. If not, i feel bad for the raccoon.

 

And strange subjects are the meat and potatoes of Game Thread, in my humble opinion.

 

Well, maybe that's too generic. Perhaps they're the Brussels Sprouts of Game Thread.

 

That better?

?

 

You expected raccoons to be mentioned on a TD game thread?

 

Not quite sure what to make of that. I mean, there is a certain amount of twisted logic that goes with that expectation.

I think that raccoons have appeared previously in GT? I am sure they were included in the infamous "why did the chicken cross the road" GT from last year. If not, it was a gross oversight. I would also point out that if GT were not themselves Twisted Logic, there would be hardly anyone here. Btw, Twised Logic. Great name for a garage band. .

Edited April 5, 20188 yr by Platoon

 

If GT were not themselves Twisted Logic, there would be hardly anyone here. Btw, Twised Logic. Great name for a garage band. .

I've always liked "Incompleteness Theorem" as the name for a group.

 

I've had some trouble logging into the site during game action - is TwinsDaily "down" for anyone else during peak times?

PM Brock about it. And if you are getting any error messages, get a screen capture and send that, too. Also, there is a thread about this in the MinnCentric forum: http://twinsdaily.com/topic/29128-lots-of-website-timeout-errors-in-the-past-4-6-weeks/?do=findComment&comment=728593