The Twins just announced all the nicknames that will be on the back of jerseys for Players Weekend (Aug. 25-27). There are some fun ones, but also some duds (c'mon Mauer, Grossman, Pressly & Rogers). It got me thinking that I should finally get around to putting down all the lame nicknames I have for Twins minor leaguers in one place. I like coming up with nicknames because it's fun and it also helps me remember/differentiate between some of the guys. 

 

LaMonte "Walk This" Wade - This is probably my best one.

Lachlan "Squints" Wells - Like the kid from Sandlot. This is a confirmed real-life nickname of his from last spring training. I also kinda like "The Lachlan Moster"

"Nitro" Nik Turley - He throws hard ... and Nitro was my favorite American Gladiator.

"The Wizard" Kohl Stewart or "Stewie the Wiz Kid" - I came to the conclusion that he pitched so well despite the lack of Ks because he was a wizard who could literally control where the ball went off the bat.

Felix "El Gato" Jorge - Have you ever seen him pounce off the mound? Very cat like.

Zander "Wheels" Wiel - He's a 6-3, 230-pound 1B, but he also has 13 triples and is 14-for-17 in SB attempts the past two seasons.

Tyler "The Intimidator" Wells - Not only is he 6-8, but his glare and mound presence are intense.

"The Mythical Beast" Brusdar Graterol - I also kinda like "The Rancor" for him, like Jabba's beast in Star Wars. His name sounds like some creature you unleash upon your enemies. His lack of exposure here in the states in the early part of his career kinda adds an allure of mythology around him.

"DeRo" Eduardo Del Rosario - He whips it good, so a Devo-inspired name seemed to fit. I also refer to him as "The Other Eddie Rosario." I wonder which one is the evil twin.

 

A few faves I didn't come up with:

Blayne "Sweet" Enlow - Saw this one somewhere here at TD, but I can't remember who posted it. Great nickname.

"It's" Sean "And" Poppen - Jeremy used this in a headline for a minors report. Pure gold.

Clark "The Chemist" Beeker - Mike Berardino shared this one on Twitter. Five stars.

 

OK, now it's your turn. Please share any nicknames you have. Try to keep them appropriate and positive. On that topic, I've been trying to come up with something for Landon Leach that doesn't incorporate sucking. Bonus points to anybody who has a good one for him. He's a big Canadian, I feel there's gotta be something there. "Lumberjack" Landon Leach?

Moderator's note: I feel like a wet blanket to mention that the TD Comment Policy specifically forbids disdainful nicknames. Keep them in the spirit of fun Tom has started!

Dunno about the minor leaguers, but I was surprised by Polanco's jersey and the fact that the league allowed that...

Dunno about the minor leaguers, but I was surprised by Polanco's jersey and the fact that the league allowed that...

I'm sure there's some lost in translation stuff there, it probably means playa or something in the vernacular. I doubt it's "pimp" in the strictest sense.

 

For our MiLBers...

 

Kohl Trickle Stewart

Mason Free Melotakis

Dietric Some People Will Rob Their Mother For The Enns

Dunno about the minor leaguers, but I was surprised by Polanco's jersey and the fact that the league allowed that...

What am I missing here?

Isn't chulo a slang term that basically means cute/hot/good looking,etc.?

 

Dunno about the minor leaguers, but I was surprised by Polanco's jersey and the fact that the league allowed that...

I get all my information off Urban Dictionary. Here's what they say:

 

"Chulo in Mexican slang refers to someone who is cute, hot, good looking etc. It can be used to describe almost anyone and is not related to sexual attraction (though it can be.) If you hear it being used in Southern California by Chicanos, Mexican Americans, etc. they are NOT referring to a pimp."

 

I get all my information off Urban Dictionary. Here's what they say:

 

"Chulo in Mexican slang refers to someone who is cute, hot, good looking etc. It can be used to describe almost anyone and is not related to sexual attraction (though it can be.) If you hear it being used in Southern California by Chicanos, Mexican Americans, etc. they are NOT referring to a pimp."

 

Okay.  I just knew the literal meaning.

 

I think Brusdar Graterol is such an awesome name he doesn't need a nickname.

 

Um...Tim "Herman" Melville?

 

Clark "Kent" "Muppets" Beeker?

Alex "AK" Kiriloff presents some interesting possibilities. Of course there are the obvious "AK-47" references, but that's been used, and besides, Russia is not a joke.

 

I prefer the AK as Alaska angle. Did you know that if you cut Alaska in half, Texas would be the third largest state? Similarly, if you cut AK's talent in half, (insert Texan outfielder drafted in 2016) would be the third best outfielder from that draft.

 

As cool as Brusdar's name is, it's even cooler backwards. Sounds like an alien super hero from Infinity Wars or something.

 

Kohl "Diamond" Stewart? We can still hope.

 

"Notall" Wander Javier? Did I lose you?

 

Keaton "Remington" Steele and Anthony "Macyver" McIver.

This thread reminds me of a little sidebar in baseball history. The 1976 Atlanta Braves decided to put nicknames on the backs of the players' jerseys. Recently signed free agent Andy Messersmith wore a jersey with the nickname "Channel". He also was assigned jersey number 17. Well, it just so happened that the Braves were owned by Ted Turner, who also owned WTBS, the TV station on which the games were broadcast and which was one of the first nationally-distributed cable channels. Oh, and by the way, WTBS was channel 17. At that point commissioner Bowie Kuhn stepped in and pointed out that advertising was not allowed on MLB uniforms. That put an end to the nickname-on-jerseys thing for the team.

I had heard on the telecast the other night that Grossman said it took him X number of years to get to the majors and have his name on the back so he was going to stick with that.  I can't fault a guy for that.

Jake "Ol' Stubblebeard" Reed
"Rolls" Royce Lewis
 

I had heard on the telecast the other night that Grossman said it took him X number of years to get to the majors and have his name on the back so he was going to stick with that. I can't fault a guy for that.

That's just gross, man

Our Assistant Beeker.

 

Stephen "Gonna Save Us"

Here's my 4 Adopt-A-Prospects:

 

Aaron “Stretch” Slegers

Felix "The Cat" Jorge - concur with the OP on this

Ben "The General" Rortvedt

Austin "Foshizzle" Bizzle