September 5, 201610 yr The Twins continue their tour of the AL Central today with the Labor Day Opener of a 3-game series against the Kansas City Royals live from Target Field.Baseball players have to work on Labor Day. I know, it isn’t fair. Not only are they poorly compensated under difficult working conditions… the entire weekend simply doesn’t apply to them. If you attend the game today and you notice them staring at you with less than welcoming expressions, please understand that they are jealous of you and the 3-day weekend you are flaunting in their faces.Here are some things to think about: 1. Personal Trainer – A long time ago… we had Jack LaLanne as a personal trainer. You’d turn on his TV show and he would whip you into shape in black and white. Now personal trainers are growing on trees… master motivators who throw the medicine ball at you and count in loud voices as you do sit ups or something. I don’t personally need one because I get plenty of exercise… jumping at conclusions, pushing my luck and dodging deadlines.2. Scientist – Back in 1907… Duncan McDougall, a doctor from Massachusetts, devised experiments to measure the human soul. Using 6 terminally ill patients on a specially constructed scale bed he measured their weight before, during, and after death, and he was able to conclude that the human soul weighed 21 grams. Despite the sloppy science and the obvious small sample size. There are some who still believe this a century later. I just want to say that I have confirmed it. The soul does indeed weigh 21 grams. I confirmed it by weighing myself before and after work.3. Video Game Developer – You can get your video game related bachelors or masters on college campuses across the country. These video games don’t just happen by accident. It is someone’s job to design, develop, program, sell… and… umm… I don’t know… I’m just listing a bunch of words that I’m guessing are related to video game production. Someone in the course of doing their job came up with Dance Dance Revolution for example. I don’t personally know anyone who has played Dance Dance Revolution but it made money. A co-worker of mine had DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION written on her desk calendar in big letters so I assumed she was into it. Turns out that was her actual plan for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Just to be safe… I did not show up for work that Friday.4. President of the United States – It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it. Personally… I want a President who is smart enough to not want the job but that doesn’t appear to be an option. I think the President should be dragged (or is it drugged) into the position kicking and screaming because they are smart enough to know it’s a horrible job. How about that… in my context… dragged and drugged into the position both accomplish what I think needs to be done.5. Labor Day – This week you get to hate Tuesday.____________________Lineups:ROYALSJarrod Dyson [L] CFPaulo Orlando [R] RFEric Hosmer [L] 1BKendrys Morales DHSalvador Perez [R] CAlex Gordon [L] LFCheslor Cuthbert [R] 3BAlcides Escobar [R] SSWhit Merrifield [R] 2BIan Kennedy [R] PTWINSBrian Dozier [R] 2BJoe Mauer [L] 1BTrevor Plouffe [R] 3BMiguel Sano [R] DHEddie Rosario [L] LFEduardo Escobar SSLogan Schafer [L] RFJuan Centeno [L] CByron Buxton [R] CFJose Berrios [R] PGame-time forecast: 80 deg F, mostly cloudy, 15% chance of rain, winds from the SSW at 11mph.Play ball! Go Twins!Click here to view the article
September 5, 201610 yr Would've been nice to see them let Kepler come back today and try to put a bad game behind him, rather than be able to sit and think about it. But, hey, I guess you've gotta make sure Weapon X gets a good, long look. There's so many examples of absolute garbage players really hitting their stride after 30, that you don't want to overlook this one. I'm hoping we're 26 games away from a resignation.
September 5, 201610 yr I wonder if Kepler thinks in German or English when sitting on bench? "Meine schlagen stinkt" Funny on a work day there'd be 150 comments by now.
September 5, 201610 yr Perhaps the absence of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION from the Twins clubhouse is the problem this year? //ducks// //sticks head back up// I really ... wait for it ... labored to come up with that one. //ducks back down//
September 5, 201610 yr 1. Personal Trainer – A long time ago… we had Jack LaLanne as a personal trainer. You’d turn on his TV show and he would whip you into shape in black and white. Now personal trainers are growing on trees… master motivators who throw the medicine ball at you and count in loud voices as you do sit ups or something. I don’t personally need one because I get plenty of exercise… jumping at conclusions, pushing my luck and dodging deadlines. Sit ups? Who does sit ups anymore? Ball curls and planks are my nemeses.
September 5, 201610 yr Would've been nice to see them let Kepler come back today and try to put a bad game behind him, rather than be able to sit and think about it. But, hey, I guess you've gotta make sure Weapon X gets a good, long look. There's so many examples of absolute garbage players really hitting their stride after 30, that you don't want to overlook this one. I'm hoping we're 26 games away from a resignation. DickNBert said that the "good, long look" for our latest Schafer would include extended stints in both LF and RF- to find out if he's "part of the solution" as the 4th OFer in 2017- as if there weren't more than adequate clues as to what he brings to the table, solution-wise, from his previous 5 stints on the Brewers' roster. And those predictions of no need to worry, Schafer is only getting 7-8 PAs after his call-up, have proven to be wildly "optimistic". Schafer is currently at 14 PAs- and counting... and this is after Buxton has been called up and started 4 games in CF. Like Grossman, and many others before him, the initial results for Schafer always tend to look alluring and intoxicating, but those early-evening diamond in the rough results invariably precede the morning-after hangover of AAAA reality.
September 5, 201610 yr Great opening to the thread I was laughing out loud!!!! Tears will fall or anger will come once the game starts, but I hope for the best.Got a great embroidered Twins hat at the Fair Sat. Red and white TC over Dark blue Twins on the front and Minnesota in red on the back. Guess that will be the highlight for me, this Twins season! GO TWINS!!!!!!!!!
September 5, 201610 yr DickNBert said that the "good, long look" for our latest Schafer would include extended stints in both LF and RF- to find out if he's "part of the solution" as the 4th OFer in 2017- as if there weren't more than adequate clues as to what he brings to the table, solution-wise, from his previous 5 stints on the Brewers' roster. And those predictions of no need to worry, Schafer is only getting 7-8 PAs after his call-up, have proven to be wildly "optimistic". Schafer is currently at 14 PAs- and counting... and this is after Buxton has been called up and started 4 games in CF. Like Grossman, and many others before him, the initial results for Schafer always tend to look alluring and intoxicating, but those early-evening diamond in the rough results invariably precede the morning-after hangover of AAAA reality. DickNBert said that the "good, long look" for our latest Schafer would include extended stints in both LF and RF- to find out if he's "part of the solution" as the 4th OFer in 2017- as if there weren't more than adequate clues as to what he brings to the table, solution-wise, from his previous 5 stints on the Brewers' roster. And those predictions of no need to worry, Schafer is only getting 7-8 PAs after his call-up, have proven to be wildly "optimistic". Schafer is currently at 14 PAs- and counting... and this is after Buxton has been called up and started 4 games in CF. Like Grossman, and many others before him, the initial results for Schafer always tend to look alluring and intoxicating, but those early-evening diamond in the rough results invariably precede the morning-after hangover of AAAA reality.The only "highlight" I've seen from Schafer was the other night when he fell over jogging toward second. Unless I'm missing something.
September 5, 201610 yr Less than one minute. That's how long I made it into the broadcast before I had to mute it. How these FSN clowns can - with a straight face - compare Dozier to Killebrew is beyond me. This top-to-bottom housecleaning should also include the TV and radio guys. This is absolute garbage.
September 5, 201610 yr Less than one minute. That's how long I made it into the broadcast before I had to mute it. How these FSN clowns can - with a straight face - compare Dozier to Killebrew is beyond me. This top-to-bottom housecleaning should also include the TV and radio guys. This is absolute garbage.Amen!
September 5, 201610 yr Less than one minute. That's how long I made it into the broadcast before I had to mute it. How these FSN clowns can - with a straight face - compare Dozier to Killebrew is beyond me. This top-to-bottom housecleaning should also include the TV and radio guys. This is absolute garbage. And the organist.... especially the organist...
September 5, 201610 yr And the organist.... especially the organist...I'd include anyone from 96.3 that plays the music in between innings and/or schedules the "artists" for the MN music series. After listening to the awful local hip hop act, whose name luckily escapes me, freezing through a cold, rainy night seemed like an improvement.
September 5, 201610 yr Author I remember begging for someone to fix Brian Dozier back in May. I remember Terry Ryan saying that he needed to be fixed. Looks like he has been fixed pretty good.
September 5, 201610 yr four more home runs for dozier and he'll be only the second twin to reach 40 -- along with, oh, never mind ...
September 5, 201610 yr I remember begging for someone to fix Brian Dozier back in May. I remember Terry Ryan saying that he needed to be fixed. Looks like he has been fixed pretty good.Not part of the problem.
September 5, 201610 yr They must be turning the fans on at Target Field when the Twins bat.Well, you know what they say...chicks dig the long ball.
September 5, 201610 yr Author OK Logan Schaefer doesn't have much of an arm. I just noticed that. I'm gonna make a mental note of it and it will be my opinion of him forever.
September 5, 201610 yr I remember begging for someone to fix Brian Dozier back in May. I remember Terry Ryan saying that he needed to be fixed. Looks like he has been fixed pretty good. A) 81 33C) 31D) 17 Lead-off home run numbers listed above to start a game for a career. A) Henderson MolitorC) KnoblauchD) Dozier How many can Dozier break before he retires? How soon will he pass "B" and "C" above?
September 5, 201610 yr Author A) 81 33C) 31D) 17 Lead-off home run numbers listed above to start a game for a career. A) Henderson MolitorC) KnoblauchD) Dozier How many can Dozier break before he retires? How soon will he pass "B" and "C" above? Only C Molitor makes him hit clean up once he reaches 32
September 5, 201610 yr OK Logan Schaefer doesn't have much of an arm. I just noticed that. I'm gonna make a mental note of it and it will be my opinion of him forever. To be fair, he doesn't have much of anything.
September 5, 201610 yr I'd include anyone from 96.3 that plays the music in between innings and/or schedules the "artists" for the MN music series. After listening to the awful local hip hop act, whose name luckily escapes me, freezing through a cold, rainy night seemed like an improvement.Do you remember if the hip hop act was Doomtree?
September 5, 201610 yr OK Logan Schaefer doesn't have much of an arm. He makes up for it by not having much of a bat.
September 5, 201610 yr Only C Molitor makes him hit clean up once he reaches 32Hopefully Molitor is long retired before Dozier reaches that number.
September 5, 201610 yr He makes up for it by not having much of a bat.Just like me. I may be short, but I'm slow.
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