July 15, 201610 yr And so the 2nd half begins…Actually… it’s not exactly the 2nd half… the final 45 percent of 2016 begins tonight.For the players it’s a return from vacation and as most of you know… vacations can be refreshing and exactly what is needed to re-charge those batteries.This has to be a Twins advantage because only one Twins player was forced to work the All-Star game, and every other team in the American League had 12 players participating and unable to refresh themselves.Here are some things to think about: 1. Hawaii – Perhaps the top vacation destination in the world, Hawaii is actually hundreds of islands all connected by water. The most populated island is Oahu and it was named after the noise that people make when they are in mid-air while jumping into a pool, or a similar noise that people make in mid-air while jumping into a giant vat of creamed corn. It is a 10-hour flight from Minneapolis to Honolulu and a 15 year walk.2. Wisconsin Dells – Perhaps the 2nd most popular vacation destination in the world is located in south-central-ish Wisconsin. Tourists come to ride the ducks and enjoy the spectacular scenery along the way. The Ducks of the Dells and actual ducks are hard to tell apart but there are a couple ways that you can differentiate them. The Dell Ducks have tires… actual ducks don’t. Actual ducks will eat snails, worms, grass and weeds and the Dell Ducks have tires. The Dell Ducks can float in water and actual ducks eat snails, worms, grass and leaves. Typically, actual ducks don’t allow people to ride them but this isn’t always the case so you really can’t use that as a method to tell them apart.3. Elbow Lake – Perhaps the 3rd most popular vacation destination in the world is one of the many 10,000 (really 20,000) lakes located within our Minnesota borders. This lake is unique because it is made entirely of elbows. A couple years ago tourism was threatened because of a severe outbreak of psoriasis, and the crisis was managed effectively with a clever use of long sleeves.4. Belarus – Perhaps the 4th most popular vacation destination in the world is this little land locked gem located in Eastern Europe. Tourists started arriving in droves to sample the national dish, Draniki, which is a potato pancake that is impossible to make anywhere else because of a shortage of pans. While visiting… tourists are entertained by watching live corruption performances from politicians who openly engage in bribery, extortion, embezzlement and gombeenism in front of sold out audiences.5. Chief’s House – Nobody knows why but the sudden interest in vacationing at Chief’s House in Arizona has caught the attention of Conde Nast and Wal-Mart Travel. Tourists come to raise dehydration levels, practice roadrunner catching and participate in cactus puncture wound contests; and when worn out by these activities, take turns sitting in Chief's Ekornes lounger at which point he completes the experience by running out of his house yelling 'GET OFF MY LAWN!' The economy in the area is booming from this influx of tourism and also from workers moving to the area looking for employment in advance of the soon-to-be-constructed massive wall promised by Trump._____________________Lineups:INDIANSCarlos Santana (S) DHJason Kipnis (L) 2BFrancisco Lindor (S) SSMike Napoli [R) 1BJose Ramirez (S) 3BLonnie Chisenhall (L) RFYan Gomes [R) CTyler Naquin (L) CFRajai Davis [R) LFCarlos Carrasco (R] PTWINSEduardo Nunez [R) SSJoe Mauer (L) 1BMiguel Sano [R) 3BBrian Dozier [R) 2BMax Kepler (L) RFKennys Vargas (S) DHRobbie Grossman (S) LFKurt Suzuki [R) CByron Buxton [R) CFErvin Santana (R] PGame-time forecast: 74 deg F, partly cloudy, 23% chance of rain, winds at 4mph from the WSW.Play ball! Go Twins!Click here to view the article
July 15, 201610 yr 1. Hawaii – Perhaps the top vacation destination in the world is actually hundreds of islands all connected by water. I don't mean to be obtuse*, but if these hundreds of islands were connected by something other than water, they wouldn't be islands, would they? They'd be...land. *this is an actual, real word. I heard it used in "The Shawshank Redemption." And that guy was really, really smart, so it has to be real.
July 15, 201610 yr It would take someone that works in radio to know what gombeenism means. *Chief don't worry after the last 6 years most Twins fans (on game threads anyway) are a little obtuse.
July 15, 201610 yr Before you consider taking a vacation to one of the hottest destinations in the country, Chief's house, I would strongly consider reading the latest reviews on TripAdvisor. Here's one for example:Betty in Ohio: Our family was very excited to book our flight and lodge to Chief's House. We were referred to go from one of our friends who says Chief tells the best jokes, and Mrs. Chief cooks the best meals. What we were NOT warned about, however, is what happens if you sit in Chief's chair in the living room. My husband chose Chief's chair to sit in after dinner, and Chief was NOT happy about it. He told us to "GET THE F$%# OUT OF HERE, RIGHT NOW!" Started throwing our luggage out of the window, and chased us down the street holding a baseball bat. 5/5 stars for the food, 1/5 stars for the hospitality. And for the LOVE OF GOD, don't sit in Chief's chair.
July 15, 201610 yr *this is an actual, real word. I heard it used in "The Shawshank Redemption." And that guy was really, really smart, so it has to be real.Don't be obtuse.
July 15, 201610 yr My family considered visiting the Dells, but somehow we always opted for elsewhere, like Gooseberry State Park one 4th of July, when we were perhaps the only part of the state not in the upper 90s. And to hear pa tell it, we had our own natural fire works display. Naturally we stayed in the tent through it to keep dry. More often, though we headed west, playing the "count the wall drug signs" game. I wonder if there are still more than a 100?
July 15, 201610 yr Any word on if Buxton is healthy and playing tonight?Oh well. Vacation over. I was just so impressed with an entire thread intro which didn't even say who we were playing, if you ignored the mandatory title. Good question. I do not know... Edited July 15, 201610 yr by sampleSizeOfOne
July 15, 201610 yr 1. Hawaii – Perhaps the top vacation destination in the world is actually hundreds of islands all connected by water. I don't mean to be obtuse*, but if these hundreds of islands were connected by something other than water, they wouldn't be islands, would they? They'd be...land. *this is an actual, real word. I heard it used in "The Shawshank Redemption." And that guy was really, really smart, so it has to be real.I almost edited that phrase so it would be ... er ... correct ... glad I didn't or your post wouldn't have made sense. Plus then it isn't really a Brian thing.
July 15, 201610 yr Kevin Jepsen has resigned with Tampa Bay. Don't know about his boy Elroy....Jane, his wife, removed all the cash from his wallet and went shopping, so I guess he's doing this for the money. She also refused to help him stop this crazy thing.
July 15, 201610 yr Jane, his wife, removed all the cash from his wallet and went shopping, so I guess he's doing this for the money. She also refused to help him stop this crazy thing.Time to watch 'So I Married an Axe Murderer' again :-)
July 15, 201610 yr Time to watch 'So I Married an Axe Murderer' again :-)Or, the sequel, 'So I Married an Axe Murderer Again'.
July 15, 201610 yr Author 1. Hawaii – Perhaps the top vacation destination in the world is actually hundreds of islands all connected by water. I don't mean to be obtuse*, but if these hundreds of islands were connected by something other than water, they wouldn't be islands, would they? They'd be...land. *this is an actual, real word. I heard it used in "The Shawshank Redemption." And that guy was really, really smart, so it has to be real. Some islands are connected on a human emotional level. I thought it was important to designate how the Hawaiian Islands were actually connected. Obtuse was also used by Arthur Carlson's son in a WKRP Episode
July 15, 201610 yr Author It would take someone that works in radio to know what gombeenism means.*Chief don't worry after the last 6 years most Twins fans (on game threads anyway) are a little obtuse. Nah... I typed the word and still don't understand what it means.
July 15, 201610 yr That bit about Belarus -- "While visiting … tourists are entertained by watching live corruption performances from politicians who openly engage in bribery, extortion, embezzlement and gombeenism in front of sold out audiences" -- is very funny. But I never heard of gombeenism. Will I ever hear or gombeenism again? Edited July 15, 201610 yr by ScrapTheNickname
July 15, 201610 yr Nah... I typed the word and still don't understand what it means. And you'd have no idea what payola is?
July 15, 201610 yr Last word on Buxton was he had a bone bruise and should be ready to play. So, 60-day DL, then?
July 15, 201610 yr I'll be among the 40- or 50 thousand at tonight's game. Look me up if you want to buy me a beer.
July 15, 201610 yr Honolul is also appropriate in that Chief Oahu is the mascot of the Indians, whom the Twins face tonight. http://cleveland.indians.mlb.com/cle/images/fan_forum/stencil_wahoo.gif
July 15, 201610 yr I'll be among the 40- or 50 thousand at tonight's game. Look me up if you want to buy me a beer.How are we going to recognize you on TV? May I suggest going to the game with a painted chest?
July 15, 201610 yr I'll be among the 40- or 50 thousand at tonight's game. Look me up if you want to buy me a beer.http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/43/startrek.jpg
July 15, 201610 yr Honolul is also appropriate in that Chief Oahu is the mascot of the Indians, whom the Twins face tonight.
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