Article: Game Thread: Twins @ Tigers, 5/16@6:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

Well… it appears the Twins do have some fight in them. They have won two games in a row and when you consider that they have only won 1 game all year… that makes two in a row all the more impressive.

You’d think that the Twins two-game winning streak would be the talk of the baseball world but it’s not. That’s because little Rougned Odor of the Rangers landed a punch directly to the face of the much bigger Jose Bautista and that is what everyone is talking about today and this has knocked the Twins to the back page once again.

It was quite the punch and the Rangers and Blue Jays have obviously built up a little feud that started with the Bautista bat flip last October and this one might continue on for a while.
Baseball is a battle and today it’s all about the feud.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Richard Dawson – Perhaps nobody in history has personally been in the middle of more feuds than he has. Dawson spent 6 years in a Nazi prison camp from 1965 to 1971 and the things he witnessed and the things he did during his years of incarceration at Stalag 13 are some of the greatest stories ever told in modern history. The living conditions were impossible and if it wasn’t for a deck of playing cards, the gourmet food prepared by a French chef and an underground tunnel system that led to the hottest nightclubs in Stuttgart… well… it would have been unbearable. Perhaps… the most tragic part… the war had been over for more than two decades. After his release in 1971, 5 years later, Dawson would find himself thrust into the middle of daily family disputes from across America. Entire families were flown across the country to face off against each other and Dawson would stand in the middle of them without a body guard or weapon and personally diffuse the situation by kissing the women in front of the men, asking each family poll questions and allowing the other family to steal from the other. It was a pioneering approach to conflict resolution and has proven to be the most successful method in history. It has been used to settle disputes between countries, political parties and the record industry.

2. Cain – Jealousy has been part of the human condition since the very beginning and it hangs over us like a millstone around our necks. The fact that Clayton Kershaw doesn’t pitch for the Minnesota Twins has always been a source of such jealousy and to such a degree that Phil Hughes can’t leave the house for fear of being attacked by angry neighbors in Edina. This original sin first occurred when two brothers… Cain and Abel… were assigned jobs in competing industries. Cain was a farmer and Abel was a shepherd and they offered their production to God. God favored Abel’s mutton over the stalks of wheat offered by Cain. Jealousy was the instant result of this favoritism and Cain could not overcome this despite attempts by God to explain and mediate. God asked Cain to sit down at a table and He presented him with a plate with steak and a stalk of wheat and said… “Go ahead… eat both of them and tell me what you like better.” God went on, “And this wheat… c’mon dude… you could have at least baked it into bread or something first… I don’t understand why you are even expecting me to chew on this in its present form.” This did calm the situation briefly but later on in the day, Cain and Abel were walking into a field and Abel started bragging about how good his sheep tasted and he went on to explain his methods and he let it slip that he was feeding Cain’s wheat to his sheep to fatten them up. This was more than Cain could stand and he cried out “You used my wheat?! That’s where those bushels went… I was looking for them for days! I thought I had misplaced them somewhere… You could have at least…" (He looked to the sky and turned and walked away before turning back around to walk back and confront his brother again.) "You used my wheat… Do you realize what winter wheat futures are trading for in the Chicago Exchange? In case you didn’t know… nearly double the other commodities and on low volume... or perhaps you did know and you didn’t care.” And then… sadly… he killed his brother in a fit of rage and jealousy… committing the first murder in history and also… what would have to be considered… a disturbing percentage of the world population in one act of violence. History has judged Cain harshly over the years, and rightly so, but in his defense he was a farmer and farmers are without a doubt the most important profession in the world and they deserve our understanding. If you have ever spent time with a farmer, you know that they come by this behavior naturally as if descendant from the first farmer, Cain… they are always complaining… It’s too wet… it’s too dry... and someone is leaving crop circles all over the place.

3. The Hatfields and McCoys – It had reached 97 degrees one Saturday afternoon in eastern Kentucky and there was really nothing decent to watch on television, so Randolph McCoy decided to pack the wife and kids into his Dodge Dart and set out for some family fun at a popular West Virginia waterpark. As you all know, the heat can make you crazy; and as you all know, heat will drive people to water parks in droves with the hope of cooling down and having fun at the same time. This set off a series of events that culminated in the most famous feud in American history. The kids were complaining non-stop about the lack of air conditioning in the car and this slowly started invading Ol' Randolph’s central nervous system comment by comment. After a car ride of that… they arrived at the park and were immediately charged $75 for all day parking with the only cheaper option at $25 for an hour… Ol’ Randolph gritted his teeth as he reached into his wallet. The high price of parking was one thing but perhaps the bigger problem was that the lot was full. They circled the entire lot 4 times while the kids were shouting… “C’mon Dad… just drop us off at the front… you can park the car and find us later… Not again Dad… don’t drive around this lot another time”. Ol’ Randolph was trying to stay calm as he felt his blood begin to boil with each comment. Eventually he had to come to grips with the obvious… there were only 3 parking spaces left and they were all at the very back of the 4 acre parking lot. So Ol’ Randolph had to squeeze his Dodge between a couple of vehicles that were clearly not centered between their respective yellow lines and the kids were in a hurry to get out of the car and they swung the doors open and produced a couple of extremely large door dings on both sides that were going to require auto body work. Ol’ Randolph was honorable so he wrote a couple of notes with his phone number to put on both windshields. This took a long time because you have to dab the pen into the ink… write a couple of words before the ink goes dry and then dab again… Meanwhile, the wife started complaining… "C’mon… let’s go… Just put your phone number down… You don’t have to explain everything that happened in the note… they will call.” Ol’ Randolph continued to finish the notes… dabbing and writing… dabbing and writing... while sensing his wife’s frustration which increased his own frustration, so much so that eventually he started dabbing hard at the paper and writing in the bottle of ink and this slowed everything down further. She tried to be patient but eventually she screamed at him… “Uff Da… LET’S GO ALREADY!!! I swear you are trying to write 'War and Peace,' or a Twins Daily game thread opening, or something.” Finally, with notes secure under the wipers, they started walking toward the park. The pavement was hot, and because the people of these parts stereotypically don’t wear shoes… they were forced to walk a tremendously long distance while audibly making “Ooo Ooo Ooo” sounds as they completed the journey to the entrance, trying to not let their feet touch the scorching pavement, while carrying all the necessary supplies like a change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt generator because the water park removed all the charging stations the year prior after patrons got electrocuted trying to charge their phones immediately after getting out of the wave pool. They arrived at the entrance to find a long slow-moving line and a $500 dollar fee for day passes for the entire family. Once in the park… little 6 year old Mary Katherine ran ahead without saying a word and eventually out of sight. The entire family searched for Mary Katherine in a panic for 30 minutes while carrying the change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt Generator without finding her before they decided to go to the front office to have a public address announcement made over the park speakers. After the announcement was made… they showed up to the designated meeting place and there was Mary Katherine crying with a park employee holding her hand… along with 11 other different and confused Mary Katherine’s who simply followed the instruction that came out of the PA System. The entire family spent the next two hours walking around the park looking for the parents of the superfluous Mary Katherine’s while carrying a change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt Generator before they could even think of having the family fun that they came for. And… And… they had to find a locker to store all of their stuff and this was another long line because none were available. The park had removed hundreds of lockers awhile back so they had room for the new charging stations that they eventually had to remove and they never got around to putting the lockers back… So… they had to lug around the change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt Generator around the entire park all day while they walked from ride to ride. Then the fun finally began, they stood in line for 45 minutes to slide on the biggest free fall water slide in America… The ride lasted about 4 seconds. Then they got in line and waited for 45 minutes for the 2nd biggest free fall water slide and that ride lasted 3 seconds. Then they got in line for and waited for 45 minutes for the next and they did this again and again and again until the Park announced that they were closing in 5 minutes and the doors will be locked and anybody still left inside would be trapped until the Park opened again on Monday. As they walked back through what was a now an empty lot with tumbleweeds blowing across… the pavement was still burning their feet and the kids started complaining of hunger because Ole’ Randolph was not going to spend $10 for Nacho’s at the park. Once in the car… Randolph and the wife wanted Olive Garden but the kids were screaming McDonalds and were so disappointed by the selection of the Olive Garden that they were making those pouting faces and Ole’ Randolph could see those faces in the rear view mirror and Ole’ Randolph was not appreciating this attitude and this caused him to declare loudly and in no uncertain terms… “Alright… we are going nowhere but straight home... Leftovers is what you are going to eat at the house and you are going to like it”.

On the way home… they drove past the Hatfield place and off in the distance in the middle of a field… a field that was remarkably shaped like a hat… they saw a chester white pig that looked exactly like Arnold… their beloved pig that had been missing for two weeks. This exact moment was the very beginning of the famous feud between the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s. A Feud that turned bloody and lasted for generations. Even after the bloodshed had stopped… the feud continued in the courts because the McCoy’s felt strongly that it should be referred to as the McCoy’s and Hatfield’s. As for Arnold the pig… he was indeed stolen… but not by the Hatfield’s… But by Fred and Doris Ziffel who lived down the holler.


4. Vice President of the United States of America – Getting elected to public office is a dirty dirty game and those who choose to commit their lives to public service via election must first learn to not be serviceable to anything or anyone who stands in the way. This brings us to the story of Aaron Burr… Former Vice President of the United States of America and widely considered to be the father of modern political campaigning. Aaron went on to invent push polling, phone jamming, voter registration loopholes, hanging chads, turning up the temperature in the studio during televised debates, rumors of illegitimate children and Willie Brown. Aaron Burr was a man of intrigue and was also the guy who invented twisting his mustache while hatching a plot. Our nation’s first Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton had found himself on the opposite side of the political aisle too many times and it eventually had to come to its conclusion with a duel because honor was at stake. The Duel took place at 7AM in the morning in New Jersey. Aaron Burr fired and struck Hamilton above his hip severely damaging his liver and causing the slow agonizing death of Hamilton a day later. Hamilton wasn’t expecting the duel to be with pistols and had managed to pound his fist into his hand… indicating “Rock” because he was positive that Burr would choose “Scissors”.

5. The Window facing East – I slept in a bit on Saturday Morning and it was going to be a good day. I had nothing planned so I was going to go for a drive and visit my father. I got up around 8AM and probably would have slept in longer but my wife was having a rather loud argument with someone on the phone in the kitchen and it had awoken me. It was time to get up anyway… I was well rested, feeling good so I got up and walked past my wife who was still upset about something and still talking loudly on the phone. I turned on the Keurig and made myself a cup of coffee… while my wife was five feet away still talking loudly with someone on the phone. I thought about my plans for the day. I was going to go for a drive to see my father in the afternoon and I thought I’d have a cup of coffee first and watch a little television and then shower and then go. I walk past my wife again… she is still loudly on the phone… and I head into the living room and I sat on the couch, hit the remote and turn the TV on to the MLB Network and watched the previous day highlights. I did turn the TV up a little bit because it was hard to hear because my wife was still talking very loudly on the phone with someone. I was thinking to myself… “This is gonna be a good day… I’ll bet the Twins will even win one”. Our picture window faces east and it was a bright sunny morning and I had to hold my hand in front of my eyes so I could see the TV and so I got up and closed the curtains and sat down again. It was going to be a good day… I was looking forward to it. I hear my wife end her conversation with a loud “Fine” and she walked immediately into the living room and was about to start telling me about her conversation (I assume) but the TV was loud and things took an immediate unexpected turn. She starts yelling at me “Why do you have to have the TV so damn loud… the kids are sleeping… you are going to wake the entire house up… you remember that we have kids right… or are you so concerned about baseball that you don’t remember them anymore”. I thought this was my moment to speak but it really wasn’t… because she continued on… “Where’s the coaster… you have your coffee cup just sitting on the table without a coaster… this is going to leave a ring”. I started to look around for the coaster but couldn’t see it anywhere. And she continued on “You can’t find the coaster… you are the only who sits here… how could you lose a coaster like that”? She then went on about how I was the only one who could have lost the coaster for about 15 minutes and I couldn’t get a word in edge wise so I was just planning on waiting for her to finish and then admit to my guilt although I had no idea where it was. After 15 minutes… she didn’t exactly stop… because she noticed that I had closed the curtains… and she a made a reference to my being a vampire and she threw the curtains open and the sun… at the speed of light I assume… struck me once again right in both eyeballs and she stormed out of the room. As she was leaving… I finally got a chance to speak and I said… “Honey… you really know how to light up a room.

(Fast Forward SFX) As I was leaving to go visit my father… She gave me a hug and a kiss and said “Say Hi to your dad from me”.

Note from ChiTown: Too long, did not edit past somewhere in the middle of the Hatfields and McCoys.

-------------------
Lineups:

TWINS
Joe Mauer(L) 1B
Eduardo Nunez(R ) SS
Miguel Sano(R ) RF
Byung-ho Park(R ) DH
Trevor Plouffe(R ) 3B
Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
Eddie Rosario(L) LF
Kurt Suzuki(R ) C
Danny Santana(S) CF

Jose Berrios(R ) P

TIGERS
Ian Kinsler(R ) 2B
J.D. Martinez(R ) RF
Miguel Cabrera(R ) 1B
Victor Martinez(S) DH
Nick Castellanos(R ) 3B
Justin Upton(R ) LF
Cameron Maybin(R ) CF
Jarrod Saltalamacchia(S) C
Jose Iglesias(R ) SS

Jordan Zimmermann(R ) P

Game-time forecast: Overcast with a 15% chance of rain, 66 deg F, winds from the SW at 17mph.

Go Twins!

Click here to view the article

[D. Hocking]

I suppose asking Chief what his memories of Cain were would be a little too obvious of a comment.

[Mike Sixel]

I just got to Oregon, and am confused by the timezone difference. Did we win yet?

[Lee-The-Twins-Fan]

Twins Lineup:

Mauer, 1b

Nunez ss

Sano rf

Park dh

Plouffe 3b

Dozier 2b

Rosario lf

Suzuki ca

Santana, cf

[Lee-The-Twins-Fan]

Berrios is pitching

 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

I just got to Oregon, and am confused by the timezone difference. Did we win yet?

Yes.

 

Yesterday was a wee win. It perhaps felt larger due to the comparative scale offer by the current record.

 

And i like losing the grand scale myself, because most everything therein is wee...

 

But tonight is a new... night!

[scottz]

 

Well… it appears the Twins do have some fight in them. They have won two games in a row and when you consider that they have only won 1 game all year… that makes two in a row all the more impressive.
You’d think that the Twins two game winning streak would be the talk of the baseball world but it’s not.
That’s because little Rougned Odor of the Rangers landed a punch directly to the face of the much bigger Jose Bautista and that is what everyone is talking about today and this has knocked the Twins to the back page once again.

It was quite the punch and the Rangers and Blue Jays have obviously built up a little feud that started with the Bautista bat flip last October and this one might continue on for a while.
Baseball is a battle and it’s all about the feud today.

Here are some things to think about:

 

 

1. Richard Dawson – Perhaps nobody in history has personally been in the middle of more feuds than he has. Dawson spent 6 years in a Nazi prison camp from 1965 to 1971 and the things he witnessed and the things he did during his years of incarceration at Stalag 13 are some of the greatest stories ever told in modern history. The living conditions were impossible and if it wasn’t for a deck of playing cards, the gourmet food prepared by a French chef and an underground tunnel system that led the hottest nightclubs in Stuttgart… well… it would have been unbearable. Perhaps… the most tragic part… the war had been over for more than two decades. After his release in 1971, 5 years later, Dawson would find himself thrust into the middle of daily family disputes from across America. Entire families were flown across country to face off against each other and Dawson would stand in the middle of them without a body guard or weapon and personally diffuse the situation by kissing the women in front of the men, asking each family poll questions and allowing the other family to steal from the other. It was a pioneering approach to conflict resolution and has proven to be the most successful method in history. It has been used to settle disputes between countries, political parties and the record industry.

2. Cain – Jealousy has been part of the human condition since the very beginning and it hangs over us like a mill stone around our necks. The fact that Clayton Kershaw doesn’t pitch for the Minnesota Twins has always been a source of such jealousy and to such a degree that Phil Hughes can’t leave the house for fear of being attacked by angry neighbors in Edina. This original sin first occurred when two brothers… Cain and Abel… were assigned jobs in competing industries. Cain was a farmer and Abel was a shepherd and they offered their production to the Lord. God favored Abel’s mutton over the stalks of wheat offered by Cain. Jealousy was the instant result of this favoritism and Cain could not overcome this despite attempts by God to explain and mediate. God asked Cain to sit down at a table and he presented him a plate with steak and a stalk of wheat and said… “Go Ahead… Eat both of them and tell me what you like better”. God went on “and this wheat… C’mon Dude… You could have at least baked into bread or something first… I don’t understand why you are even expecting me to chew on this in its present form”. This did calm the situation briefly but later on in the day, Cain and Abel were walking into a field and Abel started bragging about how good his sheep tasted and he went on to explain his methods and he let it slip that he was feeding Cain’s wheat to his sheep to fatten them up. This was more than Cain could stand and he cried out “You used my Wheat… That’s where those bushels went… I was looking for them for days… I thought I had misplaced them somewhere… You could of at least… (He looked to the sky and turns and walks away before turning back around to walk back and confront his brother again) You used my wheat… Do you realize what winter wheat futures are trading for in the Chicago exchange? In case you didn’t know… Nearly double the other commodities and on low volume... or perhaps you did know and you didn’t care”. And then… sadly… he killed his brother in a fit of rage and jealousy… committing the first murder in history and also… what would have to be considered… A disturbing percentage of the world population in one act of violence. History has judged Cain harshly over the years and rightly so but in his defense, he was a farmer and farmers are without a doubt the most important profession in the world and they deserve our understanding. If you have ever spent time with a farmer you know that they come by this behavior naturally as if descendant from the first farmer Cain… they are always complaining… It’s too wet… It’s too dry and someone is leaving crop circles all over the place.

3. The Hatfields and McCoys – It had reached 97 degrees one Saturday afternoon in eastern Kentucky and there was really nothing decent to watch on Television so Randolph McCoy decided to pack the wife and kids into his Dodge Caravan and set out for some family fun at a popular West Virginia waterpark. As you all know, the heat can make you crazy and as you all know… heat will drive people to water parks in droves with the hope of cooling down and having fun at the same time and this set off a series of events that culminated in the most famous feud in American history. The kids were complaining non-stop about the lack of air conditioning in the car and this slowly started invading Ole Randolph’s central nervous system comment by comment. After a car ride of that… they arrived at the park and were immediately charged $75 for all day parking and the only cheaper option was to pay $25 for an hour… Ole’ Randolph gritted his teeth as he reached into his wallet. The high price of parking was one thing but perhaps the bigger problem was that the lot was full. They circled the entire lot 4 times while the kids were shouting… “C’mon Dad… just drop us off at the front… you can park the car and find us later… Not again Dad… don’t drive around this lot another time”. Ole’ Randolph was trying to stay calm as he felt his blood begin to boil with each comment. Eventually he had to come to grips with the obvious… There were only 3 parking spaces left and they were all at the very back of the 4 acre parking lot. So Ole’ Randolph had to squeeze his Dodge between a couple of vehicles that were clearly not centered between their respective yellow lines and the kids were in a hurry to get out of the car and they swung the doors open and produced a couple of extremely large door dings on both sides that were going to require auto body work. Ole’ Randolph was honorable so he wrote a couple of notes with his phone number to put on both windshields and this took a long time because you have to dab the pen into the ink… write a couple of words before the ink went dry and then dab again… Meanwhile, the wife started complaining… C’mon… Let’s Go… Just put your phone number down… You don’t have to explain everything that happened in the note… they will call”. Ole’ Randolph continued to finish the notes… dabbing and writing… dabbing and writing while sensing his wife’s frustration and this increased his own frustration so much that eventually he started dabbing hard at the paper and writing in the bottle of ink and this slowed everything down further. She tried to be patient but eventually she screamed at him… “Uff Da… LET’S GO ALREADY… I swear you are trying to write War and Peace or a Twins Daily game thread open or something”. Eventually with notes secure under the wipers, they started walking toward the park. The pavement was hot and because the people of these parts stereo-typically don’t wear shoes… they were forced to walk a tremendously long distance while audibly making “Ooo Ooo Ooo” sounds as they completed the journey to the entrance, trying to not let their feet touch the scorching pavement, while carrying all the necessary supplies like a change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt Generator because the water park removed all the charging stations the year prior after patrons got electrocuted trying to charge their phones immediately after getting out of the wave pool. They arrived at the entrance to find a long slow moving line and a $500 dollar fee for day passes for the entire family. Once in the park… little 6 year old Mary Katherine ran ahead without saying a word and eventually out of sight. The entire family searched for Mary Katherine in a panic for 30 minutes while carrying the change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt Generator without finding her before they decided to go to the front office to have a public address announcement made over the park speakers. After the announcement was made… they showed up to the designated meeting place and there was Mary Katherine crying with a park employee holding her hand… along with 11 other different and confused Mary Katherine’s who simply followed the instruction that came out of the PA System. The entire family spent the next two hours walking around the park looking for the parents of the superfluous Mary Katherine’s while carrying a change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt Generator before they could even think of having the family fun that they came for. And… And… they had to find a locker to store all of their stuff and this was another long line because none were available. The park had removed hundreds of lockers awhile back so they had room for the new charging stations that they eventually had to remove and they never got around to putting the lockers back… So… they had to lug around the change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, camera, phones and phone chargers and a 2,200 watt Generator around the entire park all day while they walked from ride to ride. Then the fun finally began, they stood in line for 45 minutes to slide on the biggest free fall water slide in America… The ride lasted about 4 seconds. Then they got in line and waited for 45 minutes for the 2nd biggest free fall water slide and that ride lasted 3 seconds. Then they got in line for and waited for 45 minutes for the next and they did this again and again and again until the Park announced that they were closing in 5 minutes and the doors will be locked and anybody still left inside would be trapped until the Park opened again on Monday. As they walked back through what was a now an empty lot with tumbleweeds blowing across… the pavement was still burning their feet and the kids started complaining of hunger because Ole’ Randolph was not going to spend $10 for Nacho’s at the park. Once in the car… Randolph and the wife wanted Olive Garden but the kids were screaming McDonalds and were so disappointed by the selection of the Olive Garden that they were making those pouting faces and Ole’ Randolph could see those faces in the rear view mirror and Ole’ Randolph was not appreciating this attitude and this caused him to declare loudly and in no uncertain terms… “Alright… we are going nowhere but straight home... Leftovers is what you are going to eat at the house and you are going to like it”.

On the way home… they drove past the Hatfield place and off in the distance in the middle of a field… a field that was remarkably shaped like a hat… they saw a chester white pig that looked exactly like Arnold… their beloved pig that had been missing for two weeks. This exact moment was the very beginning of the famous feud between the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s. A Feud that turned bloody and lasted for generations. Even after the bloodshed had stopped… the feud continued in the courts because the McCoy’s felt strongly that it should be referred to as the McCoy’s and Hatfield’s. As for Arnold the pig… he was indeed stolen… but not by the Hatfield’s… But by Fred and Doris Ziffel who lived down the holler.


4. Vice President of the United States of America – Getting elected to public office is a dirty dirty game and those who choose to commit their lives to public service via election must first learn to not be serviceable to anything or anyone who stands in the way. This brings us to the story of Aaron Burr… Former Vice President of the United States of America and widely considered to be the father of modern political campaigning. Aaron went on to invent push polling, phone jamming, voter registration loopholes, hanging chads, turning up the temperature in the studio during televised debates, rumors of illegitimate children and Willie Brown. Aaron Burr was a man of intrigue and was also the guy who invented twisting his mustache while hatching a plot. Our nation’s first Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton had found himself on the opposite side of the political aisle too many times and it eventually had to come to its conclusion with a duel because honor was at stake. The Duel took place at 7AM in the morning in New Jersey. Aaron Burr fired and struck Hamilton above his hip severely damaging his liver and causing the slow agonizing death of Hamilton a day later. Hamilton wasn’t expecting the duel to be with pistols and had managed to pound his fist into his hand… indicating “Rock” because he was positive that Burr would choose “Scissors”.

5. The Window facing East – I slept in a bit on Saturday Morning and it was going to be a good day. I had nothing planned so I was going to go for a drive and visit my father. I got up around 8AM and probably would have slept in longer but my wife was having a rather loud argument with someone on the phone in the kitchen and it had awoken me. It was time to get up anyway… I was well rested, feeling good so I got up and walked past my wife who was still upset about something and still talking loudly on the phone. I turned on the Keurig and made myself a cup of coffee… while my wife was five feet away still talking loudly with someone on the phone. I thought about my plans for the day. I was going to go for a drive to see my father in the afternoon and I thought I’d have a cup of coffee first and watch a little television and then shower and then go. I walk past my wife again… she is still loudly on the phone… and I head into the living room and I sat on the couch, hit the remote and turn the TV on to the MLB Network and watched the previous day highlights. I did turn the TV up a little bit because it was hard to hear because my wife was still talking very loudly on the phone with someone. I was thinking to myself… “This is gonna be a good day… I’ll bet the Twins will even win one”. Our picture window faces east and it was a bright sunny morning and I had to hold my hand in front of my eyes so I could see the TV and so I got up and closed the curtains and sat down again. It was going to be a good day… I was looking forward to it. I hear my wife end her conversation with a loud “Fine” and she walked immediately into the living room and was about to start telling me about her conversation (I assume) but the TV was loud and things took an immediate unexpected turn. She starts yelling at me “Why do you have to have the TV so damn loud… the kids are sleeping… you are going to wake the entire house up… you remember that we have kids right… or are you so concerned about baseball that you don’t remember them anymore”. I thought this was my moment to speak but it really wasn’t… because she continued on… “Where’s the coaster… you have your coffee cup just sitting on the table without a coaster… this is going to leave a ring”. I started to look around for the coaster but couldn’t see it anywhere. And she continued on “You can’t find the coaster… you are the only who sits here… how could you lose a coaster like that”? She then went on about how I was the only one who could have lost the coaster for about 15 minutes and I couldn’t get a word in edge wise so I was just planning on waiting for her to finish and then admit to my guilt although I had no idea where it was. After 15 minutes… she didn’t exactly stop… because she noticed that I had closed the curtains… and she a made a reference to my being a vampire and she threw the curtains open and the sun… at the speed of light I assume… struck me once again right in both eyeballs and she stormed out of the room. As she was leaving… I finally got a chance to speak and I said… “Honey… you really know how to light up a room.

(Fast Forward SFX) As I was leaving to go visit my father… She gave me a hug and a kiss and said “Say Hi to your dad from me”.

Nice open. I was about to say the same thing.

[scottz]

 

I just got to Oregon, and am confused by the timezone difference. Did we win yet?

Nice post. I was about to say the same thing.

[D. Hocking]

 

Nice open. I was about to say the same thing.

 

It takes a brave (or crazy) person to admit they think the same way as RB.

[gocgo]

"I know nothing!"....and my wife reminds me every day.

[spinowner]

 

 The fact that Clayton Kershaw doesn’t pitch for the Minnesota Twins has always been a source of such jealousy and to such a degree that Phil Hughes can’t leave the house for fear of being attacked by angry neighbors in Edina.

This is so ridiculous. It's obvious you don't know what you're talking about. Phil Hughes lives in Plymouth, not Edina.

[stringer bell]

 

I just got to Oregon, and am confused by the timezone difference. Did we win yet?

No, it is not June yet.

[Mike Sixel]

 

No, it is not June yet.

Wait, the months are different here too?

[Mr. Brooks]

Well Polanco in the lineup lasted all of one day.

I guess he didn't get the memo that hitting HR's are frowned upon.

[Squirrel]

But I like how Sano and Park are 3 and 4 and Plouffe is moved down. That seems to be sticking.

[HitInAPinch]

I was expecting Polanco to give Nunez a day off at short and Mastroianni giving Santana a day off.

Proving Mastroianni is more than a bump on the bench.

 

Nah....

[Cap'n Piranha]

 

I suppose asking Chief what his memories of Cain were would be a little too obvious of a comment.

 

Of course it would.  After all, Chief is Cain.

[Mike Sixel]

 

Crap Suzuki and Dozier are back in the line-up. That will lower the team on base percentage and we can count on a least 3 to 4 strike outs with runners in scoring position from these two. 

I would bat Nunez at leadoff, Santana at the two hole, Mauer three, and Suzuki never(he is worthy of DFA status). 

 

Santana is approaching worst player in baseball status again....no idea why you'd bat him at all if you could avoid it, let alone 2nd

[Squirrel]

 

Of course it would.  After all, Chief is Cain.

No ... Chief is Adam.

[Cap'n Piranha]

Upton has 60 strikeouts in 148 AB's this year.  That makes Rosario look disciplined.

[DiscGolfer]

Helmet off

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Of course it would. After all, Chief is Cain.

When he can snatch this pebble from my hand, it will be time for him to go...

 

That Cain, right?

[Cap'n Piranha]

Good Start.

[Riverbrian]

 

No ... Chief is Adam.

 

That would make Chief your Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great and (tack on some Great's) Grandpa. 

[DiscGolfer]

ok, got that out of the way now, time to settle down and shut 'em down the rest of the way

[Platoon]

Cain made numerous mistakes! Not enrolling in the farm program was the first. No matter how much wheat he grew, or Abel stole all he had to do was stand next to his mailbox and wait for his check. It's a fool proof system. The second mistake was not whacking Abel in Manitiwoc Co. Had he done that Stepen Avery would have been blamed, and the Old Testament would have been changed forevermore!

[Platoon]

No ... Chief is Adam.

This is getting a little silly, next your gonna tell us you are Eve!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Did #5 have like a moral, or something?

 

Perhaps aplicable to game threads?

 

See, i'm trying to think, it just takes a while.

 

Does Target field also face somewhat east-erly?

 

Oh i got it... We are still searching for coasters.

[HitInAPinch]

 

Upton has 60 strikeouts in 148 AB's this year.  That makes Rosario look disciplined.

Is that a lot?  Hard to tell these days.....

[HitInAPinch]

 

 

That would make Chief your Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great and (tack on some Great's) Grandpa. 

etc. etc. Grand Pappy