Article: Game Thread: Twins @ Astros, 5/2@7:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

For the lucky few... you get to play baseball for a living. There is a tremendous amount of pressure, but when you boil it all down... it's a pretty good job. You don't have to check the cap tightness of thousands of shampoo bottles every day on an assembly line. Each player is well compensated and each player has a specific job to do:

-Jepsen has the job of pitching the 9th inning and protecting a lead.
-Sano has the job of catching routine balls out in RF and hitting an occasional ball 450 feet.
-Polanco has the job of sitting on the bench and waiting for 3 players to get hurt in a single game to do something different.

Everyone has a role and right now only Polanco is doing his job to perfection.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. My First Job -- I was 13 and I had a paper route. Do you remember newspapers? Back in 1978... a staff of writers and editors would compile all the news and print it into something called a newspaper; and then load them into trucks and circulate them around the city and surrounding area. I was a part of that circulation. I had a snowmobile route... every morning at 4AM... I'd wake up... start up the beast and put the newspaper in the right mail box and then it was off to school. I did this for 3 years and that was about the time that I discovered that it was more fun to stay out late with your friends and getting up at 4AM sucked. BTW… if you run over a mailbox with your snowmobile, it can collapse and fall onto the hood of your snowmobile and rip right through that fiberglass; and it will turn out that your dad will have to pay for the hood of the snowmobile and the mailbox. I learned that lesson pretty good.

2. My 2nd Job -- I was 16 and I left the newspaper industry to work in food service at McDonald's. I was really bad at this job... too many buzzers going off at the same time while burgers needing flipping. My boss told me... you really suck at this but I like you... so I'm not going to fire you. When my boss heard the corporate inspector was coming around, and we didn't know exactly when, he said he was going to try and schedule me when he thought for sure the inspector wouldn't show up, so this meant late night/close. One night a bus full of hungry kids came in and we got really busy and sure enough… also walking in around that time was a guy with a stop watch. My boss turns around and says to us... "He's Here." By some miracle... everything slowed down for me and I was kicking ass... burger flipping... buzzer answering... I was producing works of art and producing them quickly and my boss even gave me a thumbs up. That was until I ran out of the chicken sauce. I had to put a new canister into that caulking gun-like thing. To secure it in place... you have to give a little tap on the back. I may have over-tapped because a glob of the chicken sauce (mayo, I think) went flying over the counter and hit the inspector right in the glasses.

3. My 3rd Job -- McDonald's wasn't a good fit for me so I left to become a busboy at a local restaurant. What you have to understand about me is that I just can't pick up stuff off a table and carry it to the back… That's too routine. I had to load the tray up to capacity and then I would one hand it over my head and carry it back because that way had style. My boss would tell me that one day I was going to spill it; I disagreed because it never felt like it was going to spill… I swear to God… I had it under control. One Sunday morning... the church crowd had packed the place and I was picking up carafes of water... must have had about 10 or more of them on my tray of varying fullness with the lemon slices still floating in the water. As per my style… I lifted it over my head and was bringing them to the back like I always do when some punk kid decided to stick his leg out and trip me. I didn’t just drop the tray… I fell to the ground and I ended up throwing the tray full of water with lemon slices floating in the water forward on to an 84-year-old lady in her Sunday dress. She was drenched… she looked like Jennifer Beals in 'Flash Dance;' she even fell back in chair like Jennifer did and she had a couple of lemon slices stuck to her but they were hard to spot because they kind of matched the pattern on her dress.

4. The Rock Band Era – I sang and could play some chords on the keys to fill out some sound with various rock bands over many years before it got too tough to get home from a gig at 5AM and have to be a Dad that same morning. It was never a full time job but it was a lot of fun to do on the side and the girls loved me. I remember one time driving home around 3AM and stopping at a gas station to use the bathroom and get a Mountain Dew for the rest of the trip home. In the bathroom I found that someone had thrown up in the sink… It was all pink and congealed, it filled the entire basin and the smell was about as bad as it gets. I got out alive… thank goodness… grabbed my Dew went to the counter and some kid was working the overnight shift and I asked him if he had been in the bathroom recently. He said, “No,” and this 'don’t-even-tell-me' look came over his face. I said… “You better go check it out.” He didn’t even complete my Dew transaction… he immediately left the counter and went into the bathroom. About 30 seconds later… he came out… walked right past me and said, “I Quit,” and he walked out the door, got in his car and drove away. It was 3AM and I was in a gas station convenience store in a strange town all by myself. I was nervous for a second that I would have to finish his shift for him.

5. Radio – I’ve worked in Radio for 30 years and there are so many stories. I once threw John Houseman out of my studio for being rude. My program director came running into the studio asking, “Why did you throw him out?” I replied, “He was being rude… didn’t you hear the way he was talking to me… all snobby and pompous?” He replied back, “He’s English… his accent just sounds that way.” A few years later… I was working Rock Radio and we had a few posters on the wall of the studio. Somebody on the staff cut an arm out of a magazine and just taped it on our Def Leppard poster. Not sure who did it… just one day it was there for all to see. Most of you know that the Def Leppard drummer lost an arm in a car accident. Not a funny story when you think about it but someone on the staff found some humor in it. As time went by… more people started doing the same until the poster was filled with random arms cut out from magazines. All you could see was the Def Leppard Logo and a bunch of arms all over it. I want to be clear that I never participated in this… It didn’t matter to me at all either way... It just became part of the studio and it stayed that way for quite some time. Fast forward… I got the chance to do an in-studio interview with Def Leppard and I forgot about the poster. I asked the first question and noticed they were all looking off to the right at the poster and I got silence at first until… I think it was Joe who started talking about the arms on the poster being in poor taste or something like that. He sounded rude and pompous and I thought about throwing him out but I remembered that it was the accent that made him sound that way.

In Conclusion… I’ve made and seen enough mistakes that I’ve forgiven Sano for his attempted triple yesterday.

--------------------
Lineups:

TWINS
Danny Santana(S) CF
Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
Joe Mauer(L) 1B
Miguel Sano(R ) RF
Byung Ho Park(R ) DH
Eddie Rosario(L) LF
Eduardo Escobar(S) SS
John Ryan Murphy(R ) C
Eduardo Nunez(R ) 3B

Berrios P

ASTROS
Jose Altuve(R ) 2B
George Springer(R ) RF
Carlos Correa(R ) SS
Colby Rasmus(L) CF
Evan Gattis(R ) DH
Preston Tucker(L) LF
Marwin Gonzalez(S) 1B
Luis Valbuena(L) 3B
Jason Castro(L) C

Keuchel

Game-time forecast: 73 deg F, overcast, 15% chance of rain, winds from the N at 12mph.

Go Twins.

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[Craig Arko]

John Houseman was terrific.

 

[Riverbrian]

 

John Houseman was terrific.

 

 

Now I see... That's why he kept calling me Mr. Hart

[scottz]

Can't help it. That Def Leppard story is funny.

[Vanimal46]

What's your favorite song to hit the post on RB? 

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

What's your favorite song to hit the post on RB? 

...since we already know his favorite vehicle to hit the post on. 

[Vanimal46]

First job... ah the good old days. It seems like most get into the service industry with food, hotels, etc.. I suppose my first job where people paid me was mowing yards in the neighborhood.. I love yard work and took a lot of pride making the neighborhood look great. 

 

The first job with a real W2 I was working in the produce department at one of my hometown's grocery stores. For a 15 year old $7.00 an hour was really good money! Most of the time it was pretty slow, so to pass the time we would go to the storage room and play baseball with rotten apples/pears/oranges.. 

 

The best job I've ever had to this date was working for the Parks and Rec department at my hometown during the summers.. I was given free reign to a Toro vehicle and would drive to each ballpark in the town to get it ready for the kiddo's ballgames. 

[Riverbrian]

 

What's your favorite song to hit the post on RB? 

 

All of them... I always hit the post. I liked the songs that I could tell a story over.

 

"The Late Great Randi Rhodes on Guitar... We lost him In an airplane crash with a pilot stoned on cocaine and other substances... buzzing the tour bus that Ozzy Osbourne was sleeping in... just to have some fun. That's how they crashed killing everyone on board... Randi Rhodes died because of actually Flying High Again.

 

Post: Ozzy Sings "Oh No... Oh No... Here we go now"  

[tharasix]

That Def Leppard story is perfect.  I'll often yell "DRUM ROLL!" at my radio when Def Leppard comes on.

[Winston Smith]

Like Brian my first job was delivering papers, the Mpls. Star  afternoon paper. They actually had 2 editions back in those days. The Star was never the same after Ben Franklin passed.

The best day was when I opened the bundle of papers with a headline that the Senators were moving to the Twin Cities. What a happy day for a young baseball fan with no remorse felt for the people of the DC area, by the way.

 

Who could have guessed that all these years later that happy day would bring so much fear and loathing?

[Riverbrian]

 

That Def Leppard story is perfect.  I'll often yell "DRUM ROLL!" at my radio when Def Leppard comes on.

 

BTW... The interview actually turned out fine. It was Rick Allen (The Drummer) himself who made it OK by saying "It was alright" and he started making jokes about it and laughing and everything went back to normal. 

 

When the interview was over... I reached up and pulled an arm off the poster and gave it to Rick and he laughed and said "Thank You... I need one". 

[John Kelsey]

First job was coaching t-ball for the parks and rec dept. 

 

Parents were not overly fond of me because I was the only coach putting the best players at the top of the lineup and at the premium positions, but we didn't lose any games.

 

I HAVE NO REGRETS!

[Intramural Legend]

First job was making kabobs for VonHansons. I spent most of the day in tears because of the onions, and constantly smelled like meat.

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

First job was making kabobs for VonHansons. I spent most of the day in tears because of the onions, and constantly smelled like meat.

That sounds a little like the job I have now. 

[Vanimal46]

 

That sounds a little like the job I have now. 

Spending the day in tears? You should probably look into a new company there, Dinger. 

[Halsey Hall]

Congrats on all the jobs guys!  Jobs, jobs, jobs, I've had a ton of them, and not one lasting over 6 months. With time goofing off between many of them, all of a sudden the time came to decide to take Soc Sec at 62 or wait.  What an easy choice! Now my job is to get both feet to hit the floor every morning and make that meager income last another month. Think I'll go golf.

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

Spending the day in tears? You should probably look into a new company there, Dinger. 

Right...company. 

[diehardtwinsfan]

first full time job was a paper route as well.  That was a pretty good gig and with tips I was routinely over $10 an hour when minimum wage was half that. 

[MindFreak]

Love me some Def leppard, greatest 9 armed band out there. 

 

Twins need to turn this around, hopefully Correa stays ice cold, and the twins bats can score a fricken run this time if they got runners on 2nd and 3rd with no outs. 

 

Should get to see what Berrios really can look like since the weather is perfect out there. 

 

PS: Sorry die hard, i'll refrain from nicknames that are "offensive" 

[John Kelsey]

Warm weather and (hopefully) less nerves. We should get a better idea of what Berrios has to offer tonight. 

[Mr. Brooks]

My first job was newspaper route as well. I was 12 years old, St Cloud times, delivered with my bike.

Took about 90 minutes Monday through Saturday and twice that on Sunday's.

My problem was that most of my customers were elderly and while their intentions were good, when it came to tipping I'm not sure that they realized what year it was.

[Bark's Lounge]

My first job was being a dreamer, that didn't work out too well for me and now I live off the government.

 

But not to worry, I still dream big.

Edited May 2, 2016 by Bark's Lounge

[Dr. Evil]

Each month is a new mini season. Let's have a better second season.

[D. Hocking]

My first job, other than mowing lawns and shoveling, was biking out to the local resort after cross country practice and grinding rust off of house boat pontoons under a spot light (it was fall so it was getting dark before we finished for the day).  It involved lying on the back and cleaning with acid than sand blasting the rust off while both the low concentrate acid and paint flecks fell on your face.  I think minimum wage was about $3.33  an hour, so I was living well.   My best friend and I did it because they were supposed to hire us full time the next summer, and then the owner ended up hiring some college friends of his son.   I am feeling a bitterness I thought I had forgotten...   

Edited May 2, 2016 by D. Hocking

[Teflon]

Rosamund's Father: "And what job do you do?"

 

Ken Shabby: " I clean out public lavatories."

 

Rosamund's Father: "Is there a promotion involved?"

 

Ken Shabby: "Oh yeah, yeah. [Coughing] After five years, they give me a brush."

 

 

 

[Han Joelo]

I think it is in John Feinstein's book about minor league baseball, but the story is a Red Sox coach found out his daughter had lost an arm in an accident.  On the emergency cross country flight, he was sitting in an airport bar in the middle of the night, and just randomly met the Def Lepard drummer, who offered to do whatever he could to help the coach's daughter.  Something like that.  I need to find that book.

 

Hard to fault Sano last night.  Here's what probably went through his head:

 

"The odds of Park or Arcia not striking out are worse than the odds of me running for third, and the outfielder throws the ball away in surprise and I score the winning run.  That **** happens to us all the time.  I'm going."

[jimmer]

 

Am I the only one perplexed by Dozier hitting in the #2 spot again? 

no.  then again, look at how our manager sets lineups.  then it becomes less perplexing.

Edited May 2, 2016 by jimmer

[Bark's Lounge]

I hope I don't have to use this after the game's outcome.

 

Disclaimer: Suicide is not funny. This image was used as a Rally Icon. Bark's Lounge, Inc. is not liable for how any individual wants to define this image. If it is offensive, Bark's Lounge, Inc. sends its deepest apology.

[Tibs]

I guess my first job that wasn't on my farm was as an umpire. Most days as an umpire are actually a lot of fun. You do get some bad parents, coaches, and sometimes players, which is unfortunate, but the vast majority of my time as an umpire has been fun and it's fun to be around the game even though I coach now as well. If you are interested in being an umpire, do it. Just make sure you know the rules and don't suck 

 

Yes my signature is a fun jab at umpires since I am one and no I actually have very good eyesight. 

[spinowner]

 

For the lucky few... you get to play baseball for a living.