Let's make a pact today to retire the hackneyed McCarverism, "Electric Stuff." Post your alternative and let the Twins Daily faithful choose their favorite with their likes.

 

Examples:

 

"has the Shakira of sliders"

 

 

"sharper movement than the needle on a Rafael Palmeiro lie detector"

 

http://espn.go.com/media/pg2/2006/0316/photo/a_palmeiro_275.jpg

Edited April 28, 201610 yr by Thrylos

Depends-filling stuff!

Has phaser like stuff.

 

Has an arm that rivals the power of a rail gun.

 

He's got: Dumps like a truck?  Wireless fidelity?  Geothermal heating in his green house?  A Hotpocket in the microwave?  Some spinach in his teeth, should somebody say something?  

His cut fastball reminds me of a story: In my youth I dabbled in a bit of S&M, which included a penchant for painful nipple clips. The first time I used them, my knees buckled just like that batter's. 

 

I also had some electric stuff, but I'd rather not talk about that...

Edited April 28, 201610 yr by jimbo92107

I think "nasty like Nolasco" is the next phrase you start hearing on the national shows

"He throws like a teenager.  He's all over the place, results in a lot of strikeouts, but also a lot of short outings. He throws hard, though.  You could say he's got erectic stuff."

"As nasty as a fart in a stiff wind"

 

What the hell are you talking about?

 

We're Twins fans.  

 

Confine yourself to these:

 

"get an out on the first 3 pitches."

 

"has all four pitches:  gives up singles, doubles, triples and home runs."

 

"yeah, mebbe so, but he don't walk very many."

 

"had 47 double plays turned behind him last month."

 

"yeah, mebbe so, but most of'm were solo shots."

 

"Strikeouts lead to high pitch counts."

 

"yeah, mebbe so, but he's durable."

 

 

How about..."wowee zowee," or...no, I can do better than that. 

"His ball does that thing that Twins haven't seen, or tried to replicate, since Santana was traded."

OK, how about, zoom...something with zoom? Dang it. Hold on, I'll get one. 

...slick mamajammin'...cool jerkin'...this is hard. 

"shows consistency" always gives me a warm fuzzy

How about "is a good pitcher".

Psycho - for example: Peabody Firefrost approaches hitters like a Psycho, with his velocity and assortment of pitches, he just murders batters at the plate.

 

That 100mph quivering fastball is a slash across the jugular, the curve ball is disembowlement and the off speed stuff is a sharp and a precise stab into the heart.

 

I wish the Twins had one of these.

 

How about "is a good pitcher".

How about "is a good pitcher".

I do believe, that's some electric stuff you've got there.

As "electric stuff" is obviously a dying art in Minnesota, replacing the phrase can only be equitable.

 

 

"If a Lamborghini sped down the Autobahn in the wrong direction, the ensuing chaos couldn't possibly be worse than this team's pitching right now."