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Article: Game Thread: Twins@Nationals 4/22 6:05PM

Riverbrian
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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

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Bryce Harper is the latest “Red Scare” coming out of Washington. The sight of Harper in that bright red jersey is about as scary as Nakita Khrushchev pounding his shoe on the table. Harper hits nuclear bombs and now the children must once again submit to 'diving-under-the-desk' drills because we all know that a desk will protect the children when a nuclear bomb hits nearby. I’m not sure if a fall-out shelter has been constructed in the Twins church basement but here comes the Bryce Harper red scare. Yes… I’m calling Bryce Harper a communist.

I have no proof of this but proof has never stopped anyone on TD before. :) :) :)

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Lineupology – No DH in National League cities so Park has been sitting on the bench. If you are ever going to play Park and sit Mauer… the only left handed starter the Twins will face in these 5 games is on the mound tonight. So I’m resting Mauer so I can play Park. I’m also resting Escobar because he was out of it at the plate yesterday and Polanco wasn’t; and I want Nunez back in the lineup. I’m also tempted to rest Buxton because of his 3 strikeouts but his replacement would be left handed Kepler or left handed Arcia, so Buxton will get the start and I’m going to ask him nicely to please not strikeout 3 times tonight.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT THE REAL LINEUP UNLESS IT’S THE REAL LINEUP AND IF IT’S THE REAL LINEUP… THAT MEANS THAT PAUL MOLITOR IS A PLAGIARIST OR A STENOGRAPHER.

SS Nunez
3B Polanco
RF Sano
1B Park
2B Dozier
LF Rosario
C Suzuki
P Gibson
CF Buxton

2. April 22, 1954 – It's more than almost a sublime song. This was a very important date in our history. It was on this date that the televised Army-McCarthy hearings commenced. Joe McCarthy was a U.S. Senator from Grand Chute, Wisconsin. Just so you can find it on a map… Grand Chute is about 4 hours to the Southeast from ASHland, Wisconsin. Joe had the ear of the press and the public for a few years and Joe was personally responsible for a post WWII witch hunt that attacked Lucille Ball among others. That was until April 22, 1954… that was the beginning of the end of Joe McCarthy. McCarthy turned his communist-accusing finger to the US Army and the Army fought back. Television exposed McCarthy as a cruel and reckless accuser. The harsh light of TV turned his once bright star ASHen. It was a moment that Americans rose up from the ASHes of fear. Yes… April 22, 1954 was a great date in US History and all that were born on this date were destined for great things.

3. The Parkster – I have a theory that Sano needed to move to RF so he had a place to play when we were without a DH. Looks like that could be a problem for our South Korean new addition Byung Ho Park. I think Park should play because if you are going to take on that communist Bryce Harper, Park probably has more experience than everyone else in the dugout when it comes to dealing with this type of Red threat.

4. Washington DC – I visited DC last summer... actually, not really… I went to all the tourist stuff and that probably isn’t the real DC. I made the trek to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I really respect our Soldiers and the sacrifices that have been made for the lifestyle that I often take for granted. There is no doubt that I would have been very moved by the site. It is really beautiful but I really didn’t have the strength. Walking to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is a long way through Arlington Cemetery and it is uphill the entire way. If any of you are 50 years old and want to feel like you are 62 years old, I suggest a trip to Arlington Cemetery and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Here’s another thing… The Tomb is constantly guarded. After I walked uphill the entire way… I was so exhausted that I tried to climb into the tomb and save my family the burial costs. Those guards are well trained and it isn’t just one guy… they have a bunch more in a back room who all came out and they explained very politely that I would be allowed to die here but not be buried here.

5. Loud Knock at the Door – Neil Allen was sitting in his hotel room last night when he heard this load knock at the door. Neil shouted out… “Who is it”? “Death” was the reply from the other side. Neil opened the door and said “Whew… I thought it was Bryce Harper”.

--------------------
Lineups:

TWINS
Eduardo Nunez(R ) 3B
Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
Joe Mauer(L) 1B
Miguel Sano(R ) RF
Eddie Rosario(L) LF
Eduardo Escobar(S) SS
Kurt Suzuki(R ) C
Kyle Gibson(R ) P
Byron Buxton(R ) CF

NATIONALS
Michael Taylor(R ) CF
Anthony Rendon(R ) 3B
Bryce Harper(L) RF
Ryan Zimmerman(R ) 1B
Daniel Murphy(L) 2B
Jayson Werth(R ) LF
Danny Espinosa(S) SS
Jose Lobaton(S) C
Gio Gonzalez(L) P

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Riverbrian
Riverbrian

Bryce Harper is the latest “Red Scare” coming out of Washington. The sight of Harper in that bright red jersey is about as scary as Nakita Khrushchev pounding his shoe on the table. Harper hits nuclea

Bark's Lounge
Bark's Lounge

Chief, do you realize that the Turtle in this picture is older than every human being on Earth except for you?

D. Hocking
D. Hocking

Is there another Brian I don't know about?

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

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I know Molly doesn't want to do it, but with Plouffe out, I'd most definitely move Sano to 3rd, Mauer to RF and let Park play 1st.  I think defense improves in that scenario too.  Mauer has done some OF.

 

Joe Madden would have done this already... Maybe a Couple or Ten Times. 

 

 

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ScrapTheNickname GCL Twins

ScrapTheNickname

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I know Molly doesn't want to do it, but with Plouffe out, I'd most definitely move Sano to 3rd, Mauer to RF and let Park play 1st.  I think defense improves in that scenario too.  Mauer has done some OF.

 

Joe Madden would have done this already... Maybe a Couple or Ten Times. 

Nothing.

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ScrapTheNickname GCL Twins

ScrapTheNickname

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I know Molly doesn't want to do it, but with Plouffe out, I'd most definitely move Sano to 3rd, Mauer to RF and let Park play 1st.  I think defense improves in that scenario too.  Mauer has done some OF.

I don't disagree with your plan, but I feel that I must (I must) point out that Joe Mauer has played in the outfield a total of one inning in his career, and that was in 2011. Do you know something I don't? Of course you do, but I mean about Mauer in the outfield.

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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

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I don't disagree with your plan, but I feel that I must (I must) point out that Joe Mauer has played in the outfield a total of one inning in his career, and that was in 2011. Do you know something I don't? Of course you do, but I mean about Mauer in the outfield.

 

I just think that Joe Maddon (and now Dave Roberts) is right and the rest of baseball is wrong. Players are much more flexible then most believe.

 

You can play a guy at a different position and still improve your chances of winning a game. Maddon typically asks players to play different positions in spring training. He checks for aptitude and then when the regular season begins... if he wants to get La Stella into the game at 3B. He can move Bryant to the OF and keep his bat in the lineup.

 

All Managers will be doing it down the road eventually. It might take a little while for new blood to come in though.  

 

The Twins are all or nothing. When they move a player to a different spot... They just do it and burn the bridge behind them. 

 

Just my theory from my chair in the Joe Maddon fan club. 

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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

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Needed to edit to allow for the addition of another Joe

 

Here's the Conversation that Maddon would have had with Mauer about playing OF

 

Joe: Hey Joe

 

Joe: Hey Joe

 

Joe: Hey I'm dead but through the magic of Riverbrian I can still speak and declare all of you communists. I want the Hollywood left Black Listed... Long Live Wisconsin and I am drinking way too much. 

 

Joe: Say... I want to play Park and you in the lineup today. The only way I can do this is to move you to RF... Sano to 3B and Park at 1B so... umm... Max Kepler will borrow you his glove. He's not using it anyway and I need you to play RF tonight. 

 

Joe: Umm... I have an agreement... When I signed my contract... He (points at Terry Ryan) promised me that I would never have to play another position... He promised that I would be Catcher and that's it. 

 

Joe: It's the road construction in Milwaukee... It's bad... everybody is late for supper and then you end up drinking on an empty stomach. That's why Wisconsin gets all these crazy ideas. 

 

Joe: And now you are the 1st basemen... Times change... We adjust. I see you in RF tonight. 

 

Terry: Joe doesn't have to play OF if he doesn't want to. 

 

Joe: I'm going back to Chicago... This was a mistake to come to Minnesota. I had a good thing going at Wrigley. 

 

Joe: I'm going with you. 

 

Joe: You can have Chicago...Bunch of communists in Chicago. 

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Bark's Lounge Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

Bark's Lounge

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Here's the Conversation that Maddon would have had with Mauer about playing OF

 

Joe: Hey Joe

 

Joe: Hey Joe

 

Joe: Say... I want to play Park and you in the lineup today. The only way I can do this is to move you to RF... Sano to 3B and Park at 1B so... umm... Max Kepler will borrow you his glove. He's not using it anyway and I need you to play RF tonight. 

 

Joe: Umm... I have an agreement... When I signed my contract... He (points at Terry Ryan) promised me that I would never have to play another position... He promised that I would be Catcher and that's it. 

 

Joe: And now you are the 1st basemen... Times change... We adjust. I see you in RF tonight. 

 

Terry: Joe doesn't have to play OF if he doesn't want to. 

 

Joe: I'm going back to Chicago... This was a mistake to come to Minnesota. I had a good thing going at Wrigley. 

 

Joe: I'm going with you. 

The Twins F.O. philosophy is a brick, you cannot bend a brick, you can only pulverize it. The Pohlad's own jackhammers and such, but they don't know how to use them and are lazy learners.

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diehardtwinsfan Minnesota Twins

diehardtwinsfan

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I don't disagree with your plan, but I feel that I must (I must) point out that Joe Mauer has played in the outfield a total of one inning in his career, and that was in 2011. Do you know something I don't? Of course you do, but I mean about Mauer in the outfield.

 

Well, he's played it, and if I remember right, made a catch.  Sorry, but I have to think he'd be better than Sano out there.  Mauer has an arm too.  I know it's out of position, but I tend to think Sano is better than Nunez or escobar defensively at 3rd.  Mauer is better than Sano in RF... and Park is better than Mauer at 1B. 

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Bark's Lounge Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

Bark's Lounge

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http://thegreentrashcan.com/greenblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/charlie-and-tort.jpg

 

 

All I want is friggin galapagos turtles with friggin lazer beams attached to their friggin shells.  Is that too much to ask?

Chief, do you realize that the Turtle in this picture is older than every human being on Earth except for you?

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