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Chuck Klostermann's HYPERtheticals


Vanimal46

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Were I to find myself actually immortal the notion of interstellar travel suddenly becomes intriguing. Kepler 425b here I come.

That is if your severed head isn't rolling on the floor somewhere. :) (still laughing)

 

But seriously ... if I reached the point in life where I could go on the starship Enterprise somewhere, it might be worth it to live longer.

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To answer the question from yesterday, The thoughts of immortality would pop in my head once I turned 85-90 years old, because that's just not right to feel the same age 10 years down the road. Once I turned 105-110, I'd really start to believe that I am immortal, and start doing crazy things.. Drive a car in NASCAR, jumping out of planes kind of crazy. 

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Today's question is a doozy...

New York Times BREAKING NEWS:

 

Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the President of the United States announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you put on the front page as the biggest story? How would you rank each story by importance?

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I think the key words to focus on with this question is the President MAY have thyroid cancer, that's the unknown. 

But they have the REAL Loch Ness Monster, and a REAL sasquatch to analyze... That solves a big mystery on what's living deep in the ocean, and the mystery of if humans and sasquatch have similar DNA characteristics... 

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I think the key words to focus on with this question is the President MAY have thyroid cancer, that's the unknown. 

But they have the REAL Loch Ness Monster, and a REAL sasquatch to analyze... That solves a big mystery on what's living deep in the ocean, and the mystery of if humans and sasquatch have similar DNA characteristics... 

 

Agreed, even though I spoke with much certainty, I have been re-thinking my answer.....

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The NY Times? A real newspaper?

 

The president, not even close. 

 

But, below the fold? The other two, side by side.

 

That said, finding the other two is actually a bigger, long term, news story. Presidents come and go, new species do not.

I'd do just the opposite. Sasquatch and Nessie getting the side-by-side top of the fold and president below the fold. As Van pointed out, it's may have cancer; plus thyroid cancer is one of the most treatable forms so not in the same realm as if it was announced he had pancreatic cancer. That one would get above the fold.

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I'd do just the opposite. Sasquatch and Nessie getting the side-by-side top of the fold and president below the fold. As Van pointed out, it's may have cancer; plus thyroid cancer is one of the most treatable forms so not in the same realm as if it was announced he had pancreatic cancer. That one would get above the fold.

 

Ya, I think I got this wrong......which is why I'd meet with others before deciding. Can I revise my remarks?

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I'd do just the opposite. Sasquatch and Nessie getting the side-by-side top of the fold and president below the fold. As Van pointed out, it's may have cancer; plus thyroid cancer is one of the most treatable forms so not in the same realm as if it was announced he had pancreatic cancer. That one would get above the fold.

 

Yeah, I think that's the way I'd go too.  Two new species that may unlock a lot of scientific knowledge about the past is extremely big news.

 

Save the front page cancer announcement for when it is confirmed.

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Forever 75

You celebrate your 75th birthday in good health. As far as you can tell, you are a spry, relatively normal 75-year-old. And this condition does not seem to change over time: When you celebrate your 80th birthday, you look and feel exactly as you did on your 75th. When you hit 90, you still look and feel 75. On your 100th birthday, you realize that most of your friends are now dead or dying -- but physically, you are the same independent person you were 25 years ago. You hit age 110 with the same results. Every year, you are celebrating a new birthday without physically evolving beyond the age of 75. Doctors have no explanation for this inexplicable stasis.
 

At what age do the thoughts of immortality pop into your head? How old would you have to be before you would start to seriously believe that you are immortal?

18.

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To answer the question from yesterday, I'd fill the front page with the two pictures of Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch. The headline would read "HOLY S%^# THEY'RE REAL!" The President's news on a normal day would fill the front page, but finding 2 new species is incredible news for the world. 

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Today's question:

You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.” 

 

Which of these 2 men do you trust less and why?

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Today's question:

You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.” 

 

Which of these 2 men do you trust less and why?

There is no most or least with trust in all three. I'd not take the word of someone I barely know whose experiences with these individuals I know nothing of. If I have to put my trust in someone, I'd put it in myself first and the bartender second and just hope and pray one of the three remaining would step up if the need arose.

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Today's question:

You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.” 

 

Which of these 2 men do you trust less and why?

Unless this mere acquaintance is the great Sherlock Holmes, I see no reason to ask for his opinion on the newcomers. And speaking of his opinion, I doubt I'd give a damn when it came to his ideas of trustworthiness until I knew I could trust him first.

 

So neither. The man I trust the least is the one I'm with.

 

Which reminds me ... why am I sitting in an empty bar with a man I hardly know at my age? How did I end up here??

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I lean more towards Levi's answer from yesterday. A man with no past is more dangerous than a man with a past. He's the wild card and you have no idea if he's crazy, violent, or a big ol' teddy bear once you get to know him. 

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Today's Question:

Grand Prize for the Ages:

 

You have won a prize. CONGRATULATIONS! The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. 

Which option do you choose?

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Tough choice. 10 minutes isn't really enough to justify pulling the G's from the flight, and 2000/month goes less far in Europe than I'd like.

 

Still, I have people I know in Europe to visit, so the year it is. Maybe I can figure out a business to I can stay. Or talk to Branson about a job.

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Do I live after my 10 minutes and get to come back? If not, how old am I at this point?

 

I'd choose the moon. I can always go to Europe on my own.

Yes, you will be living after your 10 minutes on the moon. You'd be the same age you are today, and healthy enough to train/know what you're doing on the trip to the moon. 

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Tough choice. 10 minutes isn't really enough to justify pulling the G's from the flight, and 2000/month goes less far in Europe than I'd like.

 

Still, I have people I know in Europe to visit, so the year it is. Maybe I can figure out a business to I can stay. Or talk to Branson about a job.

I would have put money on you choosing the moon option Craig. Good thing I didn't!

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Yes, you will be living after your 10 minutes on the moon. You'd be the same age you are today, and healthy enough to train/know what you're doing on the trip to the moon. 

 

The moon. But man, it would be a tough slog for me to get in good enough shape to do it. I'm not in bad shape, but I'm no astronaut. 

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