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Chuck Klostermann's HYPERtheticals

Vanimal46

By Vanimal46
in The Sports Bar

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Craig Arko Wichita Wind Surge

Craig Arko

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Here's the next scenario:The Prince of Sex Appeal:

You meet a wizard in downtown Minneapolis. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make him $1 more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But -- somehow -- this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though -- you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.How much cash are you going to give the Wizard? Let's also keep in mind, this has to be an amount that you can afford, and ultimately justify to your significant other as to why this money has been taken out of the account. 

50 cent.

 

Seriously, any more and it would have to come out of my hip replacement fund.

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Vanimal46 MVP

Vanimal46

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Hmmmmmm. At first I thought nothing. Then I thought, ya, I totally would spend money on that if it lasted forever. Not sure how much, would need to know the marginal return.

Well in the scenario, $1 doesn't change much at all, but there's something different that's making the stranger more appealing to you. And let's say if you throw down $1 million, you can start a dynasty for being Sexiest Man Alive in People magazine. 

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Craig Arko Wichita Wind Surge

Craig Arko

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I am going with around $1000, on the theory that makes a very large difference......unfortunately, looks play a part in sales and other business relationships.....so there is economic value in this move.

So, more James Corden than Chris Hemsworth.

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biggentleben GCL Twins

biggentleben

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Here's the next scenario:

The Prince of Sex Appeal:

You meet a wizard in downtown Minneapolis. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make him $1 more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But -- somehow -- this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though -- you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.


How much cash are you going to give the Wizard? Let's also keep in mind, this has to be an amount that you can afford, and ultimately justify to your significant other as to why this money has been taken out of the account. 

 

$0. My wife loves me, and I have no desire to have others walking the street be more attracted to me, so increased attractiveness would have no monetary appeal to me.

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Craig Arko Wichita Wind Surge

Craig Arko

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Well, we now know Craig's taste in men.....

 

I don't know, I might be close to Corden now. We don't start from zero on this deal......

Ironically, Corden played a character named Craig in a couple of Dr. Who episodes.

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TheLeviathan All-Star

TheLeviathan

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I'd invest as much as I could - so I have no idea what that would be.  Attractive looks is a very marketable skill, I've read a number of studies that have verified how useful it is for economic and social success.  

 

So I'd drop a couple thousand on it and call it a Valentine's Day gift.  Two birds with one stone baby!

 

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Vanimal46 MVP

Vanimal46

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I'd invest as much as I could - so I have no idea what that would be.  Attractive looks is a very marketable skill, I've read a number of studies that have verified how useful it is for economic and social success.  

 

So I'd drop a couple thousand on it and call it a Valentine's Day gift.  Two birds with one stone baby!

That's what I'm talking about Levi! Drop a couple of G's and watch the ladies flock your way! 

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Vanimal46 MVP

Vanimal46

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So far we have 2 votes for less than $1, and 2 votes for paying over 4 figures to the wizard. I'll wait for a few more submissions, reveal my answer, and introduce the next question tomorrow morning. 

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Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

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Here's the next scenario:

The Prince of Sex Appeal:

You meet a wizard in downtown Minneapolis. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make him $1 more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But -- somehow -- this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though -- you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.


How much cash are you going to give the Wizard? Let's also keep in mind, this has to be an amount that you can afford, and ultimately justify to your significant other as to why this money has been taken out of the account. 

Omg ... none. I get enough unwanted attention from the wrong people as it is.

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Vanimal46 MVP

Vanimal46

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Omg ... none. I get enough unwanted attention from the wrong people as it is.

But.... If you throw some money down, maybe the right people gives you that wanted attention! Maybe even from Craig's man crush Chris Hemsworth :)

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Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

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Now I want to know what you look like, I am a bad human being......

Remember, I said from the wrong people ... not the right people ... If I looked a certain way, I'd get too much attention from everyone, which I don't want, either.

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formerly33 Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

formerly33

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Here's the next scenario:

The Prince of Sex Appeal:

You meet a wizard in downtown Minneapolis. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make him $1 more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But -- somehow -- this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though -- you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.


How much cash are you going to give the Wizard? Let's also keep in mind, this has to be an amount that you can afford, and ultimately justify to your significant other as to why this money has been taken out of the account. 

Damn you Vanimal ... it would be you drawing me out of a posting hiatus which was supposed to be much longer. And what a heck of a time I had getting back into my account, too.

 

But y'know, I know exactly what I'd do. I wouldn't say I'm by any means attractive, but as ChiTown mentioned, the mere fact that I'm a woman does wonders to attract attention from the wrong people, people I'd rather do without. D:

 

So I'll take $1,000,000 from the aforementioned wizard, live with the unattractiveness, send myself and all six of my siblings to our colleges of choice, and donate the rest.

 

And then rub it in to said wizard that I'd gotten the better part of the deal. :3

 

---

 

Oh gosh, I better add my response to the first question too before Van tells me I have to. Um ... I'll watch the movie since I've obviously already experienced a first hand version of the bootlegged footage of myself, and since I also have access to the opinions on the documentary of my closest friends and family, I'll easily be able to find out what ya'll had to say about me. I mean, if ChiTown was one of those people, I'm not sure I'd want to know what her brutally honest take on me was, but then again, that's my own fault. But with the movie, rather than be uncomfortable and embarrassed, I could pick it apart and point out all the inaccuracies.

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