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Article: Game Thread: Twins @ White Sox, 9/11 @ 7:10pm CT


Riverbrian

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It's the Twins vs. the White Sox.

Twins fans are heading into Chicago with a positive vibe after the excellent extra inning win in Kansas City; and we've had day off to feel good about it.

We were worried about Sano and his hamstring and that hamstring kept him out of the lineup on Wednesday; but this turned out to be good because Sano hit the game winning pinch hit home run. If he was in the starting lineup he could only hit where he hits in the order and maybe is pinch run for. If allowed to pinch hit... he can pinch hit whenever he is needed at any time and so it isn't unreasonable to say that the hamstring issue helped us win one.

With that said... put him in the lineup against the White Sox. Let's not roll that dice again.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Chicago -- Lake Michigan... because of it's sheer size, it is nearly impossible to drive across; and because of this... anyone driving from west to east and east to wast are forced to turn right or left and roll through Illinois and Chicago in an attempt to drive around the lake just to get to the other side. Illinois quickly realized this strategic location and put up toll booths every 75 feet to take advantage of this natural bottleneck. This was a boon for the Illinois DOT budgets, but on the downside... in order to control major transportation routes in America... Chicago will become a key early target. Chicago will be an easy capture because everybody is drunk and can't shoot straight at this moment. Things are safe for the time being because in Canada... everybody is also drunk and they don't own weapons.

2. White Sox -- Raise your hand if you remember when the White Sox were based out of St. Paul. For those of you who raised your hand... put your hand down now or a nurse will show up to empty something. The White Sox were the Sioux City Cornhuskers (this is true) when they were purchased by Charles Comiskey in 1894 and then moved to St. Paul to become the St. Paul Saints (this is also true). Six years later they moved to Chicago to become the White Stockings (this ist true, too) and they have been around since and have functioned as a 115 year old marketing stunt (I'm saying this is true). The White Sox are well loved with fans around the entire world (this is not true).

3. Hamstrings -- Migual Sano has become the favorite Twin for nearly everybody. When he isn't in the lineup some fans decide to watch re-runs of Little House on the Prairie instead. Sano has been slowed by a sore hamstring, and by slowed I mean... Trevor Plouffe is now faster. In order to talk about a hamstring intelligently I used Wikipedia for a simple explanation of the hamstring. It turns out that I don't know what semitendinosus and semimembranosus means so now I'm more confused. I can tell you that I've eaten an actual string that was tied around a ham by accident.

4. Catcher -- After Kurt Suzuki received a suicide pass from Blaine Boyer on Wednesday night, Zuke had to be helped off the field and the replay showed an unusual bending of the leg around the knee area. If Kurt is out for an extended period of time this means that the Twins will have to reach the world series with someone else behind the dish. Current Candidates for this position are Chris Herrmann, Eric Fryer, Josmil Pinto, Joe Mauer and Sid Hartman. Of the 5 candidates... Sid Hartman has the highest on base percentage.

5. Calf Injury -- I've never pulled a hamstring in my life but I've injured a calf while eating some veal.

-------------------
Game-time forecast: It's currently gray and rainy and gloomy in Chicago. I need to get to the gym and this weather is not conducive to physical activity indoors, let alone outdoors. However, by 7pm this rain should have moved on, be partly cloudy, with still a small chance of precipitation but probably not. It will be a chilly 62 deg F with winds from the N at 15mph. I'll be wearing long pants and a sweatshirt to the game tonight; and I'll bring my rain gear just in case.

Lineups:

TWINS
Hicks CF
Dozier 2B
Mauer 1B
Sano DH
Plouffe 3B
Rosario LF
Hunter RF
Suzuki C
Escobar SS

Santana P

WHITE SOX
Easton CF
Abreu DH
Cabrera LF
Garcia RF
LaRoche 1B
Ramirez SS
Brantley C
Olt 3B
Johnson 2B

Johnson P

Go Twins! Play ball!

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1. Chicago -- Lake Michigan... because of it's sheer size, it is nearly impossible to drive across; and because of this... anyone driving from west to east and east to wast are forced to turn right or left and roll through Illinois and Chicago in an attempt to drive around the lake just to get to the other side. Illinois quickly realized this strategic location and put up toll booths every 75 feet to take advantage of this natural bottleneck. This was a boon for the Illinois DOT budgets, but on the downside... in order to control major transportation routes in America... Chicago will become a key early target. Chicago will be an easy capture because everybody is drunk and can't shoot straight at this moment. Things are safe for the time being because in Canada... everybody is also drunk and they don't own weapons.
 

 

Priceless.  Though they are counting on people not knowing about the the ferry that will take your vehicle acorss lake Michigan that goes from (I believe) Luddington to some place just south of Milwaukee.

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Priceless.  Though they are counting on people not knowing about the the ferry that will take your vehicle acorss lake Michigan that goes from (I believe) Luddington to some place just south of Milwaukee.

I am reminded of the episode of The West Wing where they were going through plans for the invasion of Canada.

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He's still alive? They should do a Barney Miller reunion before it's too late.

From Wikipedia:

 

Abraham Charles "Abe" Vigoda (/vɨˈɡdə/; born February 24, 1921) is an American movie and television actor who appeared in The Godfather, Barney Miller, and Joe Versus the Volcano.

Vigoda is best known for his portrayal of Sal Tessio in The Godfather and for his portrayal of Detective Sgt. Phil Fish on the sitcom television series Barney Miller from 1975 to 1977 and on its spinoff show Fish that aired from February 1977 to June 1978 on ABC.

After mistaken reports of his death in 1982 and 1987, Vigoda has been the subject of running gags as to whether he is dead or alive.

 

I must have remembered one of those mistaken reports because I thought he was no longer with us.

And Sid was born in 1920. We should all be so lucky to function at his level at age 95.

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Sid will probably outlive all of us. Along with Abe Vigoda.

 

Abe Vigoda is still alive?!  

 

I just watched a couple of Barney Miller reruns earlier this week (had not seen the show in years).  It has aged well, but wow, were there a lot of references that had gone over my head when I watched it as a kid.  There were a lot of adult themed references that the writers cleverly and subtly worked in that would just be out there now.  In some ways writing has gotten lazier for today's sitcoms (now I sound as if I am about as old and cranky as Abe and Sid - when I was young they knew how to write sitcoms...).

 

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Here's a little site that I check periodically to see if Abe Vigoda has died:

 

http://isabevigodadead.com/

 

The fact that you are periodically checking this is either kind of touching or kind of creepy.

 

 

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/105000/Abe-Vigoda-Not-Dead-105262.jpg

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1. Chicago -- Lake Michigan... because of it's sheer size, it is nearly impossible to drive across; and because of this... anyone driving from west to east and east to wast are forced to turn right or left and roll through Illinois and Chicago in an attempt to drive around the lake just to get to the other side. Illinois quickly realized this strategic location and put up toll booths every 75 feet to take advantage of this natural bottleneck.

Back in the day, the toll booths were only 73 feet apart, so Chicago is proudly making progress on this!

 

Chicago has also replaced their original automatic toll collecting machines with modern toll booths. Those first toll booths were nasty, nothing more than scuffed metal baskets, where drivers pulled up and were required to throw arbitrary amounts of change into them, this one 65 cents, the next one 20 cents. If you missed the basket, there was a sign nearby threatening you with imprisonment. The implication being this: "Here in Illinois, we mean business!" There was usually enough loose change strewn on the ground to buy a hamburger at Howard Johnson's, and I once heard a story of how one Chicago resident scooped up enough change in this way to buy White Sox season tickets. 

 

But here again, there is progress. The new toll booths are now staffed with White Sox, Cubs, Bears, and Black Hawks fans, who pass the time between vehicles by longingly looking upon the license plates of vehicles from other states. The downside of these new toll booths is that they now cost a buck fifty. But at least you can get exact change, so long as you help the guy in the booth with his arithmetic. 

 

Maybe a Chicago native and White Sox fan can come on the thread and confirm this information for us, so that we can banish them from this website. 

 

Oh, I'm sorry, what was the question?  :)

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