Article: The Bullying Typist

[Axel Kohagen]

I planned to write four columns for four Twins games attended in eight days, but I got stuck after running Fifteen's 5K before the last game and ended up skipping the game and staying home. The Twins lost, but my experience running into Target Field and getting closer Glen Perkins to sign my medal thrilled me enough to make me forget my favorite team's woes.

 

Still, I felt like I owed y'all that last blog entry, to justify my shameless and unabashed promotion of my novel Orphans (in paperback and on Kindle!). Then the Twins kept losing, and if you don't have anything nice to say . . .Alisha Perkins already wrote something about people who don't say nice things. My friend Cindy and I discussed it on the 5K, and then we high-fived Alisha herself as we crossed the finish line. Cindy looked much tougher closing out that race than my winded, sweat-covered self did. I stood on Target Field and smiled, very content, and found myself in desperate need of large amounts of breakfast foods.

 

Alisha wrote about the on-line crap her husband was taking for suffering a string of bad luck games. Her calm explanation of working through adversity is clear and worth reading. I'm always surprised when I see articles listing the attack tweets people have had to endure. When they start looking like plastic-sealed evidence from a crime show about serial killers, I start to wonder about my fellow Americans.

 

Part of one line stuck with me, though: Alisha writes, "The cyber-bullying fad in America needs to stop . . ."

 

For the most part, I believe I've been more of a cyber-smartass than a cyber-bully, but I'd have to let others be the judge of the effects of my actions instead of just the intentions. That said, I've tossed out a few mean tweets in the process of being funny.

 

I used to assume the rich, famous, or Internet-famous read these pop culture quips and digs as if they were just lines in a movie where they already knew they would save the day. I started to let go of this attitude when I saw how quickly and viciously Internet users are willing to cross a line of social comfort for a quick bit of approval or attention - myself most definitely included. Once I saw how many death threats were tossed about, wrapped in a "just kidding" envelope," I worked to keep my online interactions sensible enough I would communicate them to the person in question in their own living room. Go through my Twitter feed and I have no doubt you'll find some times I've violated this rule, but I do try.

 

So after this grown-up rant, I have to confess I understand the desire to rip some stranger from the top of the hill all the way down to the bottom. When you see a ballplayer as superhuman, you feel like you can tear them up, bit by bit, and it doesn't matter. Work might suck, your family might hate your guts, and your lumpy tummy might be pouring over your belt buckle (and here you see one of the reasons for running that 5K), but everybody can pick on the guy on the mound when the baseballs go straight from his hand to a lucky fan's bookshelf. We all know that guy, and we figure he can take it.

 

If you think this sounds like the kind of bullcrap children are capable of flinging, I'm right there with you. After all, I honed my meanness on a steady diet of jealousy for others talents, fear of taking chances, and frustration about all of my own mistakes. Do any of us ever really grow out of that?

 

Alisha, I read your column a couple of times (and I'd offer to call you and personally read you Orphans as you run, for your new book on tape), I think you do your best work against it when you write about things like anxiety, pain and frustration in a way that shows bravery and empathy. As a running trainee, reading your stuff makes me feel more normal about my frustrations.

 

I especially like it when you stand at the end of 5Ks and cheer yourself senseless for a (slightly less) chubby guy running slowly but not quitting. After all, there's no need to attack someone else online when you're proud of what you accomplished and someone showed kindness and paid attention when you met your goal.

 

-- Axel Kohagen

 

 

Click here to view the article

[Craig Arko]

Yeah, I try to make it a point not to type anything I wouldn't say to somebody's face. Both a good reminder that there's a real person on the other end of the ether, and it helps to pretend they can smack you if you go too far.  And vice versa.

[John Bonnes]

Nice story. More importantly, you look good Axel! You've lost weight, if I'm not mistaken. 

[tobi0040]

A few years ago I was talking to a friend of mine when Nick Punto was here. We were talking about how bad he was and we were wondering why he was still on the team.

 

Later that night I was on the train ride at the Mall of America with my two young girls.  Nick Punto walks in with his son, about the same age as my girls and he sat next to me.  Said Hi and seemed really nice and approachable.  It was a pretty weird feeling having just talked about him in the manner I did.  Nothing that I would consider bullying and it certainly was not to the degree you see at times, but not anything I am proud of.

 

Just a reminder for me that he is human, seemed very nice and does the same things I do with my kids on the weekends.  Not to mention, he was bigger in person that he looks on the field. 

[Vanimal46]

Luckily you can find a couple of safe sanctuaries online with integrity and policies in place to comment on your interests. TD is certainly that for me.

 

I couldn't tell you how many times I've typed in a comment for political/sports discussions on social media, and deleted it all. There's too much stupid involved in social media that it's not worth the trouble.

[Vanimal46]

A few years ago I was talking to a friend of mine when Nick Punto was here. We were talking about how bad he was and we were wondering why he was still on the team.

 

Later that night I was on the train ride at the Mall of America with my two young girls. Nick Punto walks in with his son, about the same age as my girls and he sat next to me. Said Hi and seemed really nice and approachable. It was a pretty weird feeling having just talked about him in the manner I did. Nothing that I would consider bullying and it certainly was not to the degree you see at times, but not anything I am proud of.

 

Just a reminder for me that he is human, seemed very nice and does the same things I do with my kids on the weekends. Not to mention, he was bigger in person that he looks on the field.

I think it's still fair and valid to have those discussions with your buddy about player performance and whether or not he should still be on the team. Pro athletes know their performances on the field are filmed, stats are recorded, and compared to athletes internally and externally.

 

Shouldn't be different than questioning whether Bill on the sales team is doing enough to keep his job. His "stats" are recorded in salesforce and brought to light at the sales meeting on Monday morning. Bill outside of work may be rescuing puppies and donating all of his earnings to charity...still valid to question what he's paid to do.

[tobi0040]

 

I think it's still fair and valid to have those discussions with your buddy about player performance and whether or not he should still be on the team. Pro athletes know their performances on the field are filmed, stats are recorded, and compared to athletes internally and externally.

Shouldn't be different than questioning whether Bill on the sales team is doing enough to keep his job. His "stats" are recorded in salesforce and brought to light at the sales meeting on Monday morning. Bill outside of work may be rescuing puppies and donating all of his earnings to charity...still valid to question what he's paid to do.

 

But getting back to the comment about not saying something that you would not say to their face.

 

I would not have told Punto he was horrible to his face, nor Bill in Sales.

 

 

[Linus]

I have been away from Twins Daily for about a week.  While I generally enjoy the site, I had to take a break because, as the Twins stumbled out of the break, the negativity and vitriol seemed to spike.  I found myself feeling crappy after reading all the negative comments, many of which are repeated over and over again.

 

I am not judging anybody or complaining.  I just think keeping this in perspective would increase the overall enjoyment of the site and our favorite 9.

[70charger]

 

Yeah, I try to make it a point not to type anything I wouldn't say to somebody's face. Both a good reminder that there's a real person on the other end of the ether, and it helps to pretend they can smack you if you go too far.  And vice versa.

 

 

Good rule.

 

I'm at least 63% sure Gandhi wasn't talking about cyber-bullying, but "be the change you want to see in the world" seems to apply. We've all been guilty of being a cyber-dickhead from time to time, but let's keep trying to do better.

[ShouldaCouldaWoulda]

There is a lot of grey area here, and subject context and content matter. I am full on board with the no personal attacks, especially that having nothing to do with the topic. I.e., TR "old" comments are personal and attacks, calling him out for the failure of the team in any way one feels is plausible and just...go ahead. Calling Joe out for being a "wimp" is a personal attack, but any sort of complaining about him on the field should be fair game.

 

Attacking character, appearance, intelligence, etc is just mean. However, again in context. Calling a player out for being out of shape, when it might effect his and team play is fair, but only when applied to his ability to play. Calling TR out TR, Moliter, or a player out for a "dumb" move/decision/play is fine, but not calling the person actually an intellectual pejorative. 

 

Discussing and listing things we are upset about when it comes to team rosters or a players performance are kind of the meat of topics when discussing important topics. It should be expected, and the more knowledge and honest fans are going to be giving positives where they are due and negatives where they are due. TR deserves the criticism he is getting right now for the roster, but the dude also deserves a lot of credit for where we are...and he's received both. Same with players, and their performance.

 

People do not come to discuss things that they are not passionate about, and passion usually produces both optimism and criticism, and often both at the same time. People do not come here to read and discuss Twins Kool Aid content alone. Look, we are all Twins fans and thats why we're all here. We root for this team and people on the team. 

 

Calling TR out for several missteps of the roster lately, does not mean he is not liked or has done a good job. Saying we want Robinson or Boyer off of this roster like yesterday, is not an insult or bullying. They are by all means probably great guys that we only wish the best to, just not on our lineup. That isn't bullying. That is honesty. Writing that on a persons social media account IS bullying, but discussing their play in a content specific forum is not. They should be going out looking for our comments about them, and I doubt they do.

 

When things get negative, is it "not optimistic" or constructive "criticism", or is it just hot air non relevant crap negativity? The first two are fine and interesting to read, but some may choose to get bored with them and move on. Just because one feels sick of hearing about shortcomings or missteps does not mean everyone needs to stop discussing Arcia, Pelfrey, bullpen, or what have you.

 

Those refusing to discuss any criticism can be blamed as being apathetic or ignoring things of importance. And, it can be just as annoying reading comments that are overly positive and inflated, than those that are equally negative criticism. Eye roll my eyes at both, and often of my own thoughts and comments, which I do think about how they are written. Sometimes the optimists can come across as condescending, or passive aggressive, which again I am probably guilty of. 

 

Point being, that content specific and relevant criticism is why many, if not most are here for, along with the positive end. No one is here to discuss the mundane. In bad times there will be more players and staff being criticized and in good times, praised. Nature of the beast. 

 

I love the Twins, Joe, TR, Moliter, Arcia, etc, yet I feel just fine criticizing baseball specific topics about them here, without feeling like a bully. Heck I'd blush like child to spend 5 minutes with any Twin, whether Boyer/Robinson or Sano/Berrios.

 

 

[Axel Kohagen]

 

Nice story. More importantly, you look good Axel! You've lost weight, if I'm not mistaken. 

This is definitely feedback I sincerely dig - thank you! I'm hard at work at living a healthier life. It's a process born from a horrifying moment where I found myself all alone in a rural Kentucky hospital, unsure if they would let me leave due to my blood pressure. I'll tell you about it sometime.

[twinsnorth49]

 

But getting back to the comment about not saying something that you would not say to their face.

 

I would not have told Punto he was horrible to his face, nor Bill in Sales.

Perhaps you wouldn't have used the term "horrible" but it's still fair to discuss someone's lack of performance without being a jerk about it.  If a pro athlete can't handle some legitimate criticism when it's merited then they're just in denial. It only becomes an issue for me when people decide to personally attack a player's character or comment on things they have no information on.

[nicksaviking]

 

Yeah, I try to make it a point not to type anything I wouldn't say to somebody's face. Both a good reminder that there's a real person on the other end of the ether, and it helps to pretend they can smack you if you go too far.  And vice versa.

 

I really hope my kids, and all kids, who grow up in this social media era can figure this out.

 

Although what many people would say to an athlete or celebrity's face is likely never going to be the same as what they would say if they were lucky enough to come face to face with them, as all too often the real life conversation would be full of stutters, stammers, um's, uh's, er's and a general misapplication of correct grammar and vocabulary.  Same goes for talking to pretty girls.

[twinsnorth49]

 

There is a lot of grey area here, and subject context and content matter. I am full on board with the no personal attacks, especially that having nothing to do with the topic. I.e., TR "old" comments are personal and attacks, calling him out for the failure of the team in any way one feels is plausible and just...go ahead. Calling Joe out for being a "wimp" is a personal attack, but any sort of complaining about him on the field should be fair game.

 

Attacking character, appearance, intelligence, etc is just mean. However, again in context. Calling a player out for being out of shape, when it might effect his and team play is fair, but only when applied to his ability to play. Calling TR out TR, Moliter, or a player out for a "dumb" move/decision/play is fine, but not calling the person actually an intellectual pejorative. 

 

Discussing and listing things we are upset about when it comes to team rosters or a players performance are kind of the meat of topics when discussing important topics. It should be expected, and the more knowledge and honest fans are going to be giving positives where they are due and negatives where they are due. TR deserves the criticism he is getting right now for the roster, but the dude also deserves a lot of credit for where we are...and he's received both. Same with players, and their performance.

 

People do not come to discuss things that they are not passionate about, and passion usually produces both optimism and criticism, and often both at the same time. People do not come here to read and discuss Twins Kool Aid content alone. Look, we are all Twins fans and thats why we're all here. We root for this team and people on the team. 

 

Calling TR out for several missteps of the roster lately, does not mean he is not liked or has done a good job. Saying we want Robinson or Boyer off of this roster like yesterday, is not an insult or bullying. They are by all means probably great guys that we only wish the best to, just not on our lineup. That isn't bullying. That is honesty. Writing that on a persons social media account IS bullying, but discussing their play in a content specific forum is not. They should be going out looking for our comments about them, and I doubt they do.

 

When things get negative, is it "not optimistic" or constructive "criticism", or is it just hot air non relevant crap negativity? The first two are fine and interesting to read, but some may choose to get bored with them and move on. Just because one feels sick of hearing about shortcomings or missteps does not mean everyone needs to stop discussing Arcia, Pelfrey, bullpen, or what have you.

 

Those refusing to discuss any criticism can be blamed as being apathetic or ignoring things of importance. And, it can be just as annoying reading comments that are overly positive and inflated, than those that are equally negative criticism. Eye roll my eyes at both, and often of my own thoughts and comments, which I do think about how they are written. Sometimes the optimists can come across as condescending, or passive aggressive, which again I am probably guilty of. 

 

Point being, that content specific and relevant criticism is why many, if not most are here for, along with the positive end. No one is here to discuss the mundane. In bad times there will be more players and staff being criticized and in good times, praised. Nature of the beast. 

 

I love the Twins, Joe, TR, Moliter, Arcia, etc, yet I feel just fine criticizing baseball specific topics about them here, without feeling like a bully. Heck I'd blush like child to spend 5 minutes with any Twin, whether Boyer/Robinson or Sano/Berrios.

Well said. The biggest offenders are usually the people who hitch their entire life's worth and happiness to the wagon of their favourite sports team. How dare Joe Mauer not provide me the opportunity to feel good about myself.