Article: Game Thread A's@Twins 5/4 7:10PM

[Riverbrian]

The Twins have won 4 in a row!!!

 

The Twins Swept the White Sox!!!

 

The Twins have won 7 out of their last 10!!!

 

The Twins are over .500!!!

 

Now here come the A's.

 

We all know that Brad Pitt runs a mean team but the Twins are hot enough to overcome Brad Pitt and whatever he comes up with... this year.

 

Here are some Things to Think About!!!1. Oakland A's -- What a bunch of upheaval drama queens this bunch is. From year to year you never know what the roster will look like. General Manager Billy Beane just can't sit still and I think he looks nothing like Brad Pitt. They moved top prospects one after another to acquire big name players to help them at a failed run at the World Series. This year... all of those additions are gone along with the prospects and it's a whole new cast of characters in the new 2015 Moneyball movie. Jonah Hill is also long gone; and so is Philip Seymour Hoffman (but they didn't get along anyway). After last year... We can all see Brad Pitt hanging his head in solitude once again. His daughter is older now and those cute little songs she sings to him that made good fun of Ol' Dad are probably a lot more vicious now. She's probably got her nose and belly button pierced and is dating a meth dealer in Stockton and blaming her father.

 

2. The Twins = Playoff Team... Almost -- If the season ended today, our Twins would be a half game out of the playoffs. Thank GOD!!! It doesn't end today. Let's win tonight and then let the season end tomorrow!!! (Providing the Orioles lose tonight). I'm not sure what it will take to end the season after clinching a playoff spot after tonight.

 

Major Earthquake across the entire country?

They had an earthquake in Michigan over the weekend... so maybe... But I don't like this idea at all. Too much property damage and potential for loss of life.

 

Riots in Baseball Markets across the Country?

At first blush... This seems possible these days but the Orioles just went ahead and played in front of an empty stadium and the TV contract and money will probably keep baseball keeping on.

 

Baseball Strike or a Lockout?

Yeah... This is how we do it... We got to plant an immediate bug in the players union ear. Find something that will interest them enough to walk off the field until it's rectified. Let's bounce that around the room... Come up with some ideas!!! Perhaps... Private Airplanes for each player on the 25 man roster... 2% ownership stake for each player for each world series victory. The Giants would own the club by now. M&M's with the Brown ones picked out is too easy to solve... So that won't work.

 

3. Byron Buxton -- Don't look now but Lord Byron is heating up. He has hit .522 during his recent 6 game hitting streak to "Walk in Beauty Like the Night." Now... don't go getting your hopes up that he will be up to Minnesota in the next week or two. I know how impatient most of you are when it comes to such things. I'm just pointing out that he is heating up and that's good.

 

Here are some other things that we are impatient about:

 

Sitting around in the movie theater waiting for the movie to start!!!

 

They just recycle the same poor quality ads over and over again as you listen to the conversations from the people who arrived early. I've found that one of the best uses of time is to find the proper spot for your feet... Away from the spilled drinks and popcorn butter. You know that sticky sound when the soles of yours shoes unsticks from the stickiness. When I stop hearing that sound... I know my feet are in the proper postion.

 

Texting People who take hours to reply!!!

 

Yeah... I'm one of those people but I'm ok with that because I'm not the one waiting for a response... but when I text someone and have to wait for a response back... This makes me impatient. I've removed approximately 12 people from my texting list due to slow responses. My Wife is pissed that I don't text her anymore.

 

Waiting for someone to get out of a parking spot!!!

 

I see you... You got into your car... You turned the car on... And you sit there texting someone as I hold up traffic behind me... waiting for you to MOVE!!! Yeah... I see that you are answering a text and therefore a candidate to stay on my texting list but let's go already!!! You and I are holding up the whole town and making everybody late.

 

Flight Delays!!!

 

Seriously... Again... Another Delay!!! I've flown maybe a handful of times and maybe 75% of the time it has been delayed. I've got to sit in an airport terminal for 6 hours because the engine fell out of the plane I'm supposed to be riding in. I'm really tempted to just start walking to Colorado Springs and have the plane stop and pick me up on the way.

 

DMV's!!!

 

You all know that this is very difficult when it comes to your patience. All you can do is look around and think to yourself... These are the people who are driving around the city and putting my life in danger.

 

Chinese Democracy!!!

 

This is the album that Guns-N-Roses waited years to hear and were greatly disappointed by when it finally arrived. Back in the 80's when I heard Axl Rose sing "Patience" I had no idea that he was talking about Chinese Democracy.

 

Getting someone a great gift and then waiting to give it to them!!!

 

OK... You got your wife a great gift for her birthday... and now you gotta wait for her birthday... This is HARD!!! It's such a great gift that you want to show her or tell her right away. I can't do it... Every time I've gotten my wife something fantastic... I tell her... So when her birthday comes... She knows what's inside.

 

The Doctors Office!!!

 

I made an appointment for 2PM... I'm here and it's 1:50PM... Why am I seeing the Doctor at 4:27PM? Nothing like waiting an extra 2:27 just so the Doctor can tell me that I can't eat anything that I enjoy.

 

Microwaves!!!

 

Yeah... I Yell at them... C'mon... I don't have all second!!!

 

4. Jesse Hahn -- He's 25 Years old and he was acquired in a trade with the San Diego Padres during the off season. Jesse is from Groton, Connecticut. Groton is known for the production of Submarines. Submarines of course... Are the people who couldn't get into the actual Marine Corps. If any of the actual Marines need time off... They contact Groton and a Sub-Marine is sent in to cover for the actual Marine. Steve Cishek and Pat Neshek are submariners and they will be asked to fill in on occasion. I bet you didn't know that Steve and Pat served America like that!!!

 

5. Arriving on Time -- I used to pride myself on arriving on time. If I said I would be there at 4PM... I was there at 3:55PM. I considered it a great skill of mine. However... Soon I realized that no one was there to appreciate this skill.

 

So Yeah... This Game Thread was posted later than normal!!!

 

Game-time forecast: 68 deg F, partly cloudy (sunset 8:22pm), winds from the NE at 7mph.

 

Lineups:

 

A's:

Burns CF

Semien SS

Reddick RF

Butler DH

Vogt C

Davis 1B

Lawrie 3B

Canha LF

Sogard 2B

 

Hahn P

 

TWINS:

Dozier 2B

Hunter RF

Mauer 1B

Plouffe 3B

Suzuki C

Vargas DH

Escobar LF

Schafer CF

Santana SS

 

Hughes P

 

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[Riverbrian]

(Rocky the Squirrel Voice) And Now... It's time for something that I hope you really like!!! 

 

The LUAWC Queen and the magic that she does!!! 

[Circus Boy]

Wow!!! Let me guess: You poured 14 K-cups down before typing this!!!

 

Always remember: If you put instant coffee in a microwave you'll go back in time.

[James]

 

Getting someone a great gift and then waiting to give it to them!!!

OK... You got your wife a great gift for her birthday... and now you gotta wait for her birthday... This is HARD!!! It's such a great gift that you want to show her or tell her right away. I can't do it... Every time I've gotten my wife something fantastic... I tell her... So when her birthday comes... She knows what's inside.
 

Are you suggesting that you buy gifts for your wife before her actual birthday and not that day?

 

This is an intriguing concept.

Edited May 4, 2015 by James

[D. Hocking]

 

 

4. Jesse Hahn -- 
 

 

I first read this as Jessica Hahn and was wondering -- what would Jessica Hahn have to do with the Twins game, but then remembered who had written this post and there would probably be a connection when using RB logic and thinking  (but alas it was not about Jessica Hahn).

[JB_Iowa]

 

The Twins have won 4 in a row!!!
 

Here are some other things that we are impatient about:


Texting People who take hours to reply!!!

Yeah... I'm one of those people but I'm ok with that because I'm not the one waiting for a response... but when I text someone and have to wait for a response back... This makes me impatient. I've removed approximately 12 people from my texting list due to slow responses. My Wife is relieved that I don't text her anymore.

 

FTFY.

[JB_Iowa]

 

5. Arriving on Time -- I used to pride myself on arriving on time. If I said I would be there at 4PM... I was there at 3:55PM. I considered it a great skill of mine. However... Soon I realized that no one was there to appreciate this skill.

 

My father's philosophy of life .... if you aren't 15 minutes early, you're late.

 

It was a philosophy he inherited from his father but not all of his brothers subscribed.  Grandpa to Uncle Charlie:  "We eat at noon.  If you and your family aren't here, we eat without you."

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Always remember: If you put instant coffee in a microwave you'll go back in time.

Yeah, I figured that out when I dropped acid about 20 years ago. The crazy part of that experience is that I met Huey Lewis and Michael J. Fox in the midst of that journey.

 

... or at least I think I did?

Edited May 4, 2015 by Bark's Lounge

[diehardtwinsfan]

I think RiverBrian needs to go back on the adderol.

[Brananorama]

Psh, if we can't sweep a bunch of sub-.500 scrubs, what are we doing anymore?

 

But really, though, exciting things to come in this series. I think we have a shot at taking three from the A's and really making an improvement on the W/L record. Eddie will be fun to watch.

 

(Also, I just got around to seeing Moneyball for the first time over the weekend. Great movie. I gave it a solid 8/10 in my movie-watching spreadsheet, so all your references were really topical.)

[D. Hocking]

 

I think RiverBrian needs to go back on the adderol.

 

Do you really want him to do something that might alter his one-of-a-kind artistry?  Think of all of the great writers of the past whose best work might have been lost had they not been a little off kilter.  Sometimes you need to sacrifice mental and/or emotional stability for great writing. 

[Craig Arko]

Do you really want him to do something that might alter his one-of-a-kind artistry?  Think of all of the great writers of the past whose best work might have been lost had they not been a little off kilter.  Sometimes you need to sacrifice mental and/or emotional stability for great writing.

 

Is there a Pulitzer for game thread introductions?

[Vanimal46]

Is there any mention of Rosario being in the lineup for game 2 of this series?

[Brananorama]

 

Is there any mention of Rosario being in the lineup for game 2 of this series?

 

None so far. Jesse Chavez tomorrow is the only righty we'll see for the rest of the set, for what that's worth.

[jokin]

 

Do you really want him to do something that might alter his one-of-a-kind artistry?  Think of all of the great writers of the past whose best work might have been lost had they not been a little off kilter.  Sometimes you need to sacrifice mental and/or emotional stability for great writing.

 

Think Salinger, Poe, Kerouac, Kesey and Thompson, especially Thompson.

Edited May 5, 2015 by jokin

[Squirrel]

omg ... I forgot ... it's Star Wars night! lol

[JB_Iowa]

It is so nice to see the D help the pitcher instead of hinder.

[ashbury]

Yeah, I figured that out when I dropped acid about 20 years ago. The crazy part of that experience is that I met Huey Lewis and Michael J. Fox in the midst of that journey.

 

... or at least I think I did?

I never tried the stuff, but a friend told me he once saw Daffy Duck driving a semi passing him in the next lane, and he decided maybe it was time to pull over for a while.

 

http://s.pikabu.ru/images/big_size_comm/2013-06_5/13721008983686.jpg

[JB_Iowa]

Typed too soon.

[Craig Arko]

He's hughesing the dark side.

[Squirrel]

awww, crap.

[JB_Iowa]

Apparently Hughes needs a stint on the DL.

[ashbury]

Tuned in just in the for the Grannie. Maybe I should invoke that Abe Simpson animated GIF yet again.

[Brananorama]

Son of a...

[Craig Arko]

Son of a...

[Circus Boy]

True fact: Today is "International Respect for Chickens Day." To celebrate, McNuggets for all. I'll buy.

[Bark's Lounge]

 

I never tried the stuff, but a friend told me he once saw Daffy Duck driving a semi passing him in the next lane, and he decided maybe it was time to pull over for a while.

 

http://s.pikabu.ru/images/big_size_comm/2013-06_5/13721008983686.jpg

Yeah, that happened to me too.

[Brananorama]

I'm beginning to think he's not as ready for this outing as he's been made out to be.

[Brananorama]

Third homer in as many at-bats for Vogt, apparently.

[Sam Morley]

trying to find the record for fastest grand slam in history...