Anthony Swarzak, Cheer Up!!!

Living in Ohio, the only time I got to see the Twins play (in person or live) was when they played the Indians. This year everything changed when I purchased the MLB.tv package. Now I can watch every game. I get to watch and listen to all of Mauer's professional at bats... Pavano's stache in high definition.... the cheerful ramblings of Bert.... and of course our wonderful pitching staff.

One thing that bothers me whenever I watch, is how sad Anthony Swarzak looks whenever he's pitching or on camera... Because of this, I have put together a list of things that could make Anthony Swarzak happy (other than being traded to a contending team):

1. A Unicorn Jumping Over a Rainbow

[ATTACH=CONFIG]1016[/ATTACH]

2. ALF - Hey, it was very popular in the 80's. For the Sabermetric folks, ALF topped out as the #10 watched show in 1987/1988

[ATTACH=CONFIG]1013[/ATTACH]

3. Pie - It's far superior to cake... you'll never find a birthday party that served pie with leftovers (you will with cake).

[ATTACH=CONFIG]1014[/ATTACH]

4. Puppies

[ATTACH=CONFIG]1012[/ATTACH]

5. The fact that he's making $487,000 this year....

[ATTACH=CONFIG]1015[/ATTACH]

Smile Anthony, you're making watching the Twins harder than it already is.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]1018[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]1017[/ATTACH]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~

My Dad wrote a fiction book centered around the Twins titled "Mr. Base Man" - Check it out on Amazon, only .99 cents - http://www.amazon.com/Mr-Base-Man-eb...7960681&sr=8-1

Swarzak's face looks like it needs some facial hair. Something to cover up those lines and space between lips/nose. A nice, thick goatee, or perhaps just a Pavano-stache.

Maybe he looks so serious because he is sick of carrying that pinkish/purplish lunchbox on the way from the dugout to the bullpen. The initiations that ballplayers go through are quite humorous.