Okay, you’re 8-25, 14 games out of first and one fifth of the season has already gone by the wayside. So what do you show for video highlights on your website? A single that drove in a run? A couple of catches in the outfield? Granted, getting an RBI is a rarity for this team, even a clean catch in the outfield is something to write home to mom about, but come on, is that all real baseball fans have to look forward to this season? What’s next? Mauer chewing bubble gum? A surreptitious sunflower seed spit that clears the bench railing?

Let’s face it. Twins baseball isn’t baseball anymore. It used to be fans went to the ballpark to see a competitive game, to watch their favorite players make great plays. Nowadays “fans” are there for the “experience”; good views of the field (but with no idea of what their supposed to be viewing), novel food items (sold at outrageous prices), social media contacts (with other “fans” who are there to stare at their smart phones) and of course a chance to acquire a new souvenir as proof they’ve actually partaken in the “experience”. For these fans, great plays are optional. Besides, they’ll probably be eating nachos or buying a T-shirt when the great play is made anyway. Maybe they’ll catch the replay on ESPN the next day.

Call me a curmudgeon. Call me a cynic. Call me anytime but during a Vikings game, but I think us oldtime baseball fans have to admit it; there’s nothing for us to watch (except in horror) when the Twins take the field. This team isn’t built to win, it’s built to entertain the mindless masses. When the main attraction is a different food on a stick, or a strange dish created by a fat chef from Timbukto, who cares if the team can’t catch, can’t hit and can’t pitch? It’s the experience, man! Gimme a side order of nachos with that! And one of them $8 beers. Make that two. What? There’s a game going on?

So as long as the experience-seekers are buying tickets, there’s no incentive for the Twins organization to try and field a competitive team because it makes no difference if they’re competitive or not. You can sell a ticket and a footlong hot dog to a fat guy who wouldn’t know a bunt from a line drive just as well as you can to the schmuck who’s following the game by keeping score, except the fat guy might eat two or three footlongs while he’s “experiencing” whereas the scorekeeping fan won’t want to take his eye off the game; except to slip the paper bag over his head.