I am a fan.

Not a player. Or a coach. Or a manager. Or a GM. Or an owner.

I am a fan.

I played my last organized (non-pick up/wiffle ball) game of baseball in 2003. It was in a 'I-can't-play-for-my-high-school-team' league and I remember that we needed one more win to get into the playoffs. I was playing 3rd that day so me and a teammate were on the field so I could take some throws to first when our last teammate finally showed up. In basketball shorts. Without a glove. We lost the game.

The reason I bring this story up is I remember getting into the car with my mom after and telling her "I don't understand how someone would show up so unprepared to play. Why would you even come?"

I can't quite tell if this was how I felt about the Twins. I rode the high of the first half of the season like all of us. "Holy crap, this team can play!" "How is Torii hitting like this??" "Good lord! Is this the same Mike Pelfrey??" "Terry Ryan is finally moving prospects up instead of AAAA players!"

I got to see the team I love riding a huge series win against the Tigers into the All-Star break. Heck, Dozier finally got some national attention and got into the All-Star game! Through the last 4 years, I couldn't remember feeling like this. I was actually going to Target Field to watch baseball, not just to hangout in the summer while drinking some beer and looking for beautiful women. (No shame on that one, that was a large factor)

And now the 2nd half has started and I've started to think I'm one of the people I listed above. "Why is Danny Santana still playing SS?" "I'd so much rather watch Oswaldo Arcia wiff multiple times a week but mash one into the parking lot in right field than pretend Eduardo Nunez can take another a bat at DH." "Does Molitor even look at stat lines?" "How the hell is Blaine Boyer still on this team?" (Okay, that one is legitimate. Seriously, why?)

Games have gotten back to being the background noise on my TV while I'm at home. I watch a couple innings but it doesn't have the same pull as the first half. I look at the box score everyday but it's more out of habit than passion now. But I finally remembered something last night.

I am a fan.

And that means I'm going to go through the same things as the team. I'll get into a slump. I will roll my eyes and sigh. I'll start playing with my phone in the 3rd inning and look up to see the start of the 6th. And that's perfectly normal and okay.

This isn't to say I shouldn't be critical when the team doesn't play well or question front office moves but seriously, I'm a fan. And every team in baseball slumps at some point.

Because I've remembered that, I'm disappointed the team is playing this bad but I don't feel anything like I did the last 4 years. And I am incredibly excited for what this team can do, the rest of this year and the coming years.