In the front office of a professional team, one General Manager is getting rave reviews because of his recent hard work and dedication. What fans don’t know is how much he’s struggling to make himself look busy.

“I just spent forty million dollars today so local sportwriters wouldn’t call me a wimp.” The GM said, wiping sweat from his brow. “I had a plan to draft and develop some good players, but now I’m just wasting my boss’ money so that it looks like I’m working.”

This productivity illusion struggle is a relatable one for the American public, in a recent survey, over 95% of American employees say they only do things at work to make it look like they should continue to get paid by their employer. What this General Manager has on his shoulders more than the average paper pusher is a multi-million dollar budget for his office and the hopes and dreams of an entire major media market questioning his every move.

“I mean, if I don’t do anything, they’ll say that I don’t know what I’m doing. But have you seen this guy we just signed? He’s terrible. And now we’re going to be paying him gobs of money until he’s 42.” The GM then got choked up and threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

He’s in a difficult position to be sure, because if he just builds his team through the draft, savvy trades and low-key signings, he’d likely be ran out of town with pitchforks and torches. The fans can be impatient and waiting a whopping three years for a contending team just doesn’t fit most fans’ expectations.

“We need to win, and we need to win now!” One anonymous fan remarked “I’m so sick of this team losing, they’ve been losing ever since my three-year-old son was born. All he’s ever known is losing, and it’s time for a change!” When asked about the team’s recent moves, he was ecstatic “Yeah, I liked the signings, I mean, you gotta pay some money to get good players, but I’ll wait until that player underperforms relative to his contract to absolutely savage this contract signing.”

The GM did not want to provide further comments about how he planned to look busy when the team owner stopped by his office tomorrow, but he was hoping that a player would get arrested for something relatively foolish tonight so he could be kept busy for most of the next day.

*The article also appears at WildXtra.com today, in The Stand Up Goalie. Too good of a concept to not share.

Photo Credit Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports