Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

With the conclusion of my landmark 25 drafts in 25 days feature, I decided that I needed to stop relying so heavily on gimmicks. It's time to do some real analysis and actually offer something of value. No more insulting everyone with silly lists and bad photoshops. It's time to take things very seriously.

So, here's a fake mailbag:

What do you think of the Kohl Stewart pick?

~Prospect Guys, Twins Daily (question likely aimed at someone with more knowledge/street cred/common sense)

I love it. Considering the players who were available, Stewart was the best pick. Obviously, if any of the "big three" had fallen to four, I would have liked for the Twins to jump on them. However, with those three drafted, it seems that Stewart was clearly the best available prospect and he filled a need to boot. While Stewart is unlikely to contribute to the Twins within the next few years, he certainly helps add to the excitement for the future. If fans can be patient for a year or so more, things will start to turn around. Teams with oodles of top prospects improve. Unless they're the Royals. Then they don't.

Kansas City is a nice place though.

Also, even if Stewart never reaches Minnesota, it can still be the right pick. The MLB draft is so hard to predict and taking a teenager is no sure bet. Stewart can flame out and still be the right choice. Things change; that's the way it is.

Clete Thomas was called up recently. Don't you think he deserved it? Don't you expect him to be freaking fantastic?

~Everyone, Twitter

No and no. Clete Thomas played well at AAA but unless he's bringing AAA pitchers with him to Minnesota, I don't see his MLB career taking off any time soon. Thomas is a replacement level player who can play center field if needed. Hopefully, he'll be around to spell Aaron Hicks from time to time and nothing more. I don't expect him to help the team win and I don't expect him to do anything of significance. I also don't think he'll be on the team at the end of the season.

Summary: Not a fan. I also don't think he "earned" a call-up. Sure, he played well for Rochester, but he's 29. He's not part of the future and he doesn't help enough in the present. It's great that he mastered AAA but that's all his performance means. I don't really care that he is on the active roster, so long as he doesn't start playing regularly. Basically, stay off my lawn, Clete Thomas.

What do you think of the Fox Sports North Girls? How would you improve their role with the Twins?

~Wife, St. Paul, MN

Well, I have one idea:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MPeREQtthSA/UbE_6J6pBpI/AAAAAAAAAtQ/9LPH4uEu4zM/s320/foxsportswaynegirls.png

Replacing the Fox Sports North Girls with three Gary Waynes could be profitable.

Byron Buxton?

~B. Swanson, St. Paul, MN

Excellent question. Yes. Holy smokes this guy is crazy. It seems like his legend grows every day. Keith Law rated him as the second best prospect in baseball. Jason Parks seems somewhat smitten. The experts and scouts are comparing him to Eric Davis, Mike Trout and Willie Mays. Yowee.

Is there any harm in this? I don't think so. Honestly, the fact that he is building a legend when so far from the Majors kind of makes it more fun. Even if he flames out (and I don't see that happening) we will at the very least have this legendary figure that we will remember for a long time. I love it. I love larger than life figures. Can you imagine Buxton's MLB debut? How electric is that crowd going to be? He isn't going to be a normal prospect; he's gone mainstream.

The average top prospect is still a relative unknown. My father-in-law sent me a text about Buxton this week and his Twins texts are usually devoted to talking about how Joe Mauer doesn't hit home runs or misspelling names like Donit and Parmesan. He wants to release Aaron Hicks. Just release him.

Buxton has crossed over. He's the Enrique Iglesias of the Twins Minor Leagues. If he wants to Bailamos, I'll do it. Just watch me.

What's your deal with Aaron Hicks?

~Haters, Everywhere

There is a classic scene in the classic movie Little Big League when classic character Billy Heywood watches his favorite player get a seeing-eye single for his first hit in what must have been ages. Billy gets very excited and turns to his pitching coach as if to say, "see, I told you so." The wise pitching coach basically points out that if Billy is this excited about a seeing-eye single, then what does that really say about his favorite player?

I now realize that I act in the same way when Aaron Hicks gets a hit. It's quite sad. I've basically turned into a 10-year-old MLB manager, which is pretty much everything I hate. Every Hicks hit ends with me pumping my fist, running around my living room and doing the Charleston. Billy ends up releasing his favorite player; what will happen to me?

I so badly want Aaron Hicks to break out or just string together a few good games in a row. He's certainly playing better than he was in April, but he's still not great. Now Clete Thomas is around to bogart at bats with his weird eyes and I feel threatened. Hicks has made improvements, but maybe not enough. I don't know anymore. I feel as though I have been constantly defending him and the Twins' decision to keep playing him. It's exhausting. I still don't see any reason to send him to AAA, but I've also clearly snapped. I wrote this "piece" a few weeks ago which basically called for the limitation of free speech.

Free speech is one of my favorites! I've gone mad. I just hope I don't have to be the one to tell Hicks that he has to go to Rochester. I would be an odd choice for a variety of reasons.

What is the one thing you would do to improve baseball?

~@bridman77, on Twitter

Two words: Magnets everywhere.

Thanks for reading everyone, have a nice weekend!

This was enlightening.

Your Clete Thomas hate is directly tied to your infatuation with Hicks!

This was useful to see, as I was wondering why you had suddenly (?) become so odd. Clete Thomas is not going to ruin this season for the Twins. Hicks does not need to play 162 games this year. That probably isn't best for him.

Always a pleasure. Fun to see your answers to these questions you pretend people asked you.

Gary Waynes picture...freaky...yet awesome!

Great blog as always. Just the humor I needed on this crazy work day.

Thanks guys! I'm totally irrational about two things: Aaron Hicks and putting Gary Wayne's head on things.

Hilarious and entertaining as always. Don't stop writing, please!

Thanks guys! I'm totally irrational about two things: Aaron Hicks and putting Gary Wayne's head on things.

I'm more of a Keith Atherton guy but to each his own. Great article, as always!

Also, thanks for linking to your draft write ups, I didn't have the chance to read many of them right away.

Thanks again! I'll look for a good Keith Atherton card to photoshop for the future. I'm always willing to take requests.

I aim to please...