Twins at Tigers

10 Pins Fall Down (Game 44)

I asked the score if I should watch the Twins game. The score said no, and I had no regrets about spending some time with my wife, my friend, and an awful movie called The Greenskeeper.

The formerly infamous John Rocker, pitcher, played the killer.

It’s on Netflix.

In the ninth inning, we watched our phones to make sure the Twins avoided getting no-hit.

Following a baseball team has very few real-life side effects. Getting no-hit can really change a fan’s next few days. There will be texts, tweets, and Facebook messages. There may be phone calls. Every new site on the Internet and every newsstand mocks you.

Mauer hit a single. No additional suffering this day.

Lots of games left, though.

What IS a Loveable Loser? (Game 45)

The Twins score enough early to limp out of the game with a win.

It’s hard to remember the last names of the Twins rotation. In the shuffle, they lost Joe Benson, for whatever that’s worth.

When, I think about “loveable loser” teams, they’re usually either teams that pull it together to win in the end or the Chicago Cubs.

I don’t want to be a Cubs fan, Target Field division.

Reality isn’t doing much to calm my fears. Gleeman’s been tweeting Twins pitching stats that’ll curl your toenails. Sometimes I’d feel more comfortable if we played T-ball.

When I get that scared, I just let someone tell me bedtime stories about the guys in single-A. It’s the only way I can get to sleep.

Head First, Like Pete Rose (Game 46)

The Twins lost again, but we’re not really going to talk about them.

Today was Arrested Development Day. After being off the air for more than seven years, the cult sitcom was resurrected on Netflix. They offered up all 15 new episodes for viewing today, so that’s exactly how many episodes my wife and I watched.

Baseball had to wait for the Bluths. Doubt I’m the only one who thought that today.

Arrested Development got canceled for being a baseball show in a football world. It rewarded patient viewers with keen eyes and quick wits. It’s not something you’d expect a Steve Holt to understand.

If you’re not a frequent visitor to the Bluth banana stand, you know someone who is and they’ve told you all about the show. It perfectly captures a detached, doomed and yet whimsical worldview you need to have when the vultures are circling overhead.

And those vultures bring us right back to the Twins, who made last night’s victory seem like a trick.

Excuse me. Like an illusion.