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Monday Morning Madness


Brad Swanson

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Twins Video

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

The Twins lost three of four from the Tigers this weekend and have now lost eleven of their last twelve. Yikes. After flirting with .500 through six weeks, the Twins now have the second worst record in the American League. The Twins are 11th in runs scored and 11th in runs allowed. Bad combo, bro. The dream has died, as this team doesn't appear to have the talent to hover at .500 for a full season.

 

The Front Office had a busy week too. Here is a list of moves that were made this week:

 

WOW! Have you ever played in a fantasy league with that one guy who makes a billion moves per year? Even that guy is exhausted looking at this list. I don't think that any of the individual moves are all that upsetting alone. I don't like sending Arcia to AAA and I didn't like waiving Benson, but each move makes sense individually.

 

When these moves are coupled with the Twins' poor play, the level of discontent within the Twins fan base only increases. The one move that wasn't made is probably the move that is most upsetting to Twins fans. Kyle Gibson was not one of the two starting pitchers called up, and since he was on the 40-man, his call-up would have made the Benson move moot. The Twins want Gibson to be more consistent and they want to further his development, but they made that choice at the expense of another young player who is now with another organization.

 

The Front Office often has to make tough decisions. At times, their decisions look questionable and at times they look flat-out stupid. Personally, I don't see any flat-out stupid decisions in the list above. Some of the moves look smarter than others, but that's just the way it goes.

 

Since things haven't been great in the past week or so, let's try to have some fun. On to the Madness!

 

Random Photoshops

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QxKL7x7QfMw/UaKZMRUWNOI/AAAAAAAAAsw/bgQzL83ecPE/s400/belve.jpg

 

We're off to a bad start. Here's the deal. I thought of this in the middle of the night. I woke up giggling, typed it into my phone and then executed it in the morning. All along the way, I was seeing how stupid it was, but I went through with it. I am a determined individual. As if some form of compromise, I decided that it was fine that it looks horrible. If you want some context, click here. I'm not sure the context really helps though.

 

All is not lost, as the photoshop above did inspire this one:

 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E3ClfwpaSWc/UaKZTzDdvBI/AAAAAAAAAs4/mk3JveOGgNI/s400/just_the_ten_of+wayne.jpg

 

See, all is never lost. And yes, I am obsessed with Gary Wayne.

 

Random Link

 

Grant Brisbee is just fantastic and I know I have linked to him before. However, he's just that good. Here is something he wrote about the Rafael Soriano/Bryce Harper kerfuffle from last week. It has great balance of gifs, analysis and calling a guy a dingus.

 

KWL Chart

 

Here is a KWL chart I made with Sam Deduno as the topic. Remember, the KWL chart tells you what I know, what I want to know and what I have learned. Pro-tip, click on it.

 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fYOX6aFNb_g/UaKZdHfMl-I/AAAAAAAAAtA/aVjlfDjt8L0/s640/KWL+Deduno.png

 

Former Twin Update

 

Danny Valencia is somehow back in the Majors. He has been acting as Baltimore's DH the past few games, which keeps him the court-mandated 50 feet from third base while holding a glove. Valencia is slugging over .600 and has two home runs in just five games! He, Alexi Casilla, and J.J. Hardy make up a third of the Orioles' lineup and yet they are 27-23. Baseball is wild. I look forward to watching Chris Parmelee patrol their right field area in a couple seasons. Kidding!

 

Liz Thoughts

 

Every so often I will present thoughts directly from my wife. Liz is a big-time baseball fan. She has some crazy ideas. She generally thinks all players are overweight and that their pants are too long. In addition, she has no patience for any form of poor play. She does not grade on a curve for young players, old players or injured players. That sounds so familiar... She had some thoughts on Gardy that I am going paraphrase in order to clean it up and clear it up:

 

"Gardy gets tossed all the time! It's all an act. He doesn't even look that angry, he's just trying to get on camera and get attention. He shouldn't get paid for games when he gets thrown out. If I were manager, I'd get thrown out all the time and go hang out in the clubhouse and collect my check. (I tell her that he might be trying to fire the team up). That's stupid."

 

Random Top 10 List

 

The Twins head to Milwaukee for an early week series with the Brewers. There are only 47 players who have played for both the Twins and the Brewers in their career. That number seems low, but who am I to question Baseball Reference? Here are the Top Ten players who played for both the Twins and the Brewers, in order based on my own personal preferences:

 

  1. Paul Molitor - all-time great
  2. Brian Harper - combo of hitting/mullet
  3. Corey Koskie - Canada
  4. Tom Brunansky - bonus points for being traded for Tom Herr
  5. J.J. Hardy - very handsome
  6. Henry Blanco - purely sentimental
  7. Rich Becker - 1996 season
  8. Grant Balfour - Australia
  9. LaTroy Hawkins - he's still active!
  10. Carlos Gomez - "Joe Mauer, the first baseman, and the other guy"

BTW - 47. Livan Hernandez.

 

Link to something stupid I wrote

 

I wrote something about how I would punish fans if elected to the Presidency and if the President had the power to punish fans. It's pretty stupid, so it certainly fits in this section. I'd say I'm half-kidding, half-serious, half-hungry. You can find it here. If you agree, please contribute to my Kickstarter campaign for President.

 

Parting Haiku

 

Lush curly blonde hair

A wild and hot demeanor

I will miss you Joe

 

Have a great week everyone!

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

The Twins lost three of four from the Tigers this weekend and have now lost eleven of their last twelve. Yikes. After flirting with .500 through six weeks, the Twins now have the second worst record in the American League. The Twins are 11th in runs scored and 11th in runs allowed. Bad combo, bro. The dream has died, as this team doesn't appear to have the talent to hover at .500 for a full season.

 

The Front Office had a busy week too. Here is a list of moves that were made this week:

 

WOW! Have you ever played in a fantasy league with that one guy who makes a billion moves per year? Even that guy is exhausted looking at this list. I don't think that any of the individual moves are all that upsetting alone. I don't like sending Arcia to AAA and I didn't like waiving Benson, but each move makes sense individually.

 

When these moves are coupled with the Twins' poor play, the level of discontent within the Twins fan base only increases. The one move that wasn't made is probably the move that is most upsetting to Twins fans. Kyle Gibson was not one of the two starting pitchers called up, and since he was on the 40-man, his call-up would have made the Benson move moot. The Twins want Gibson to be more consistent and they want to further his development, but they made that choice at the expense of another young player who is now with another organization.

 

The Front Office often has to make tough decisions. At times, their decisions look questionable and at times they look flat-out stupid. Personally, I don't see any flat-out stupid decisions in the list above. Some of the moves look smarter than others, but that's just the way it goes.

 

Since things haven't been great in the past week or so, let's try to have some fun. On to the Madness!

 

Random Photoshops

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QxKL7x7QfMw/UaKZMRUWNOI/AAAAAAAAAsw/bgQzL83ecPE/s400/belve.jpg

 

We're off to a bad start. Here's the deal. I thought of this in the middle of the night. I woke up giggling, typed it into my phone and then executed it in the morning. All along the way, I was seeing how stupid it was, but I went through with it. I am a determined individual. As if some form of compromise, I decided that it was fine that it looks horrible. If you want some context, click here. I'm not sure the context really helps though.

 

All is not lost, as the photoshop above did inspire this one:

 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E3ClfwpaSWc/UaKZTzDdvBI/AAAAAAAAAs4/mk3JveOGgNI/s400/just_the_ten_of+wayne.jpg

 

See, all is never lost. And yes, I am obsessed with Gary Wayne.

 

Random Link

 

Grant Brisbee is just fantastic and I know I have linked to him before. However, he's just that good. Here is something he wrote about the Rafael Soriano/Bryce Harper kerfuffle from last week. It has great balance of gifs, analysis and calling a guy a dingus.

 

KWL Chart

 

Here is a KWL chart I made with Sam Deduno as the topic. Remember, the KWL chart tells you what I know, what I want to know and what I have learned. Pro-tip, click on it.

 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fYOX6aFNb_g/UaKZdHfMl-I/AAAAAAAAAtA/aVjlfDjt8L0/s640/KWL+Deduno.png

 

Former Twin Update

 

Danny Valencia is somehow back in the Majors. He has been acting as Baltimore's DH the past few games, which keeps him the court-mandated 50 feet from third base while holding a glove. Valencia is slugging over .600 and has two home runs in just five games! He, Alexi Casilla, and J.J. Hardy make up a third of the Orioles' lineup and yet they are 27-23. Baseball is wild. I look forward to watching Chris Parmelee patrol their right field area in a couple seasons. Kidding!

 

Liz Thoughts

 

Every so often I will present thoughts directly from my wife. Liz is a big-time baseball fan. She has some crazy ideas. She generally thinks all players are overweight and that their pants are too long. In addition, she has no patience for any form of poor play. She does not grade on a curve for young players, old players or injured players. That sounds so familiar... She had some thoughts on Gardy that I am going paraphrase in order to clean it up and clear it up:

 

"Gardy gets tossed all the time! It's all an act. He doesn't even look that angry, he's just trying to get on camera and get attention. He shouldn't get paid for games when he gets thrown out. If I were manager, I'd get thrown out all the time and go hang out in the clubhouse and collect my check. (I tell her that he might be trying to fire the team up). That's stupid."

 

Random Top 10 List

 

The Twins head to Milwaukee for an early week series with the Brewers. There are only 47 players who have played for both the Twins and the Brewers in their career. That number seems low, but who am I to question Baseball Reference? Here are the Top Ten players who played for both the Twins and the Brewers, in order based on my own personal preferences:

 

  1. Paul Molitor - all-time great
  2. Brian Harper - combo of hitting/mullet
  3. Corey Koskie - Canada
  4. Tom Brunansky - bonus points for being traded for Tom Herr
  5. J.J. Hardy - very handsome
  6. Henry Blanco - purely sentimental
  7. Rich Becker - 1996 season
  8. Grant Balfour - Australia
  9. LaTroy Hawkins - he's still active!
  10. Carlos Gomez - "Joe Mauer, the first baseman, and the other guy"

BTW - 47. Livan Hernandez.

 

Link to something stupid I wrote

 

I wrote something about how I would punish fans if elected to the Presidency and if the President had the power to punish fans. It's pretty stupid, so it certainly fits in this section. I'd say I'm half-kidding, half-serious, half-hungry. You can find it here. If you agree, please contribute to my Kickstarter campaign for President.

 

Parting Haiku

 

Lush curly blonde hair

A wild and hot demeanor

I will miss you Joe

 

Have a great week everyone!

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