Full Squads, Empty Hearts.

If my Twins blog gets any bleaker, it'll have to wear black eyeliner.

Not too worried. First Spring Training home run by a Minnesota Twin will have me predicted a World Series victory in six games. I'm like that.

Roger Clemens is threatening to become an obsession for me. He could go into the Ty Cobb Hall of Fame for players so completely unlikeable they've become loveable. I'd drive him there myself, as long as I didn't have to rub Icy-Hot on his groin area.

Saints preserve us, I'm starting to get interested in this outfield situation. Got a good feeling about Hicks, and I think Parmalee's going to end up being a useful Twin this year.

Of course, that may just be because I think his last name sounds like some sort of mystical land where the ballplayers have battle scars and talk in gravelly, British accents.

Yes, the magical land of Parmalee . . . May we see its shores this year.

Ryan Doumit could be from Parmalee. My number one Twins goal this year is to have him autograph a picture of Glen Danzig, in honor of his using "Mother" as walk-up music. I'd like to think we'd head bang and fist bump after he signed it, if only for a moment or two.

New Twins beat reporter Phil Miller is all Parmalee - check the facial hair in that headshot, people. His writing earns that scruff. I've really enjoyed what I've read so far.

That's all for now. Time to practice my gravelly British accent and head banging skills.

Awesome. I spend the whole entry talking about Chris Parmelee AND misspelling his name. They don't tolerate that well in the cut-throat, manly land of Parmelee, I'll bet.

Chris the magic batsman' date='

Plays for TC.

And frolics in the right field mists

As the fans shout "Parmelee!"....[/quote']

 

OK, that rocks.