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Butera? Solved!


Axel Kohagen

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The Butera problem goes like this - Drew Butera is both horrible at hitting baseballs and beloved by Twins fans. If only there was a way to keep him around Target Field without letting him get to the plate . . .

 

Guess what? There is.

 

Drew Butera should be the Twins mascot.

 

There are lots of reason why Butera could step into TC Bear's shoes without much difficulty.

 

-- He's kind of a wee little guy, and it seems like that helps with fitting into mascot suits.

 

-- Whenever I'm at a game, it seems like Drew's already hanging out TC Bear anyway.

 

-- He'd be just as lova-squeezable as the big bear.

 

-- Giant costumed bears are easy to spot. If Drew, in the TC Bear costume, tried to grab a bat and walk to the batter's box he'd be easy to spot. Another player could easily tackle Butera and drag him back to the dugout before it became an official plate appearance for the team and caused irreparable damage to the Twins' chances of winning.

 

You're welcome, Twins fans. I do all I can.

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The Butera problem goes like this - Drew Butera is both horrible at hitting baseballs and beloved by Twins fans. If only there was a way to keep him around Target Field without letting him get to the plate . . .

 

Guess what? There is.

 

Drew Butera should be the Twins mascot.

 

There are lots of reason why Butera could step into TC Bear's shoes without much difficulty.

 

-- He's kind of a wee little guy, and it seems like that helps with fitting into mascot suits.

 

-- Whenever I'm at a game, it seems like Drew's already hanging out TC Bear anyway.

 

-- He'd be just as lova-squeezable as the big bear.

 

-- Giant costumed bears are easy to spot. If Drew, in the TC Bear costume, tried to grab a bat and walk to the batter's box he'd be easy to spot. Another player could easily tackle Butera and drag him back to the dugout before it became an official plate appearance for the team and caused irreparable damage to the Twins' chances of winning.

 

You're welcome, Twins fans. I do all I can.

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