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About this blog

All the effort of some sort of horrible amalgamation of Denny Hocking, Matt Tolbert and Nick Punto. But no frosted tips. Now with puns!

Entries in this blog

Monday Morning Madness: July 1, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   The Twins and Royals split a four-game series over the long weekend. It was an EPIC series! Well, it wasn't all that epic, but PHANTOM CAM made it a bit more epic. I'll be honest, I'd like to watch an entire game in PHANTOM CAM. Although, that would take a few years. Think of all we would see though! Here are some thoughts I have from the PHANTOM CAM series.   Kyle Gibson   I believe Kyle Gibson made his debut this weekend. Either that or F
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: Viola for the broken heart of a seven-year-old

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Back in 1989, the Twins ripped my tiny heart out and traded my favorite person from New York for a bunch of crap that I didn't care about. Let's investigate why they would devastate a child in such a manner.   I also recapped the Tom Brunansky for Tom Herr trade on Thursday. If you want to, you can read it here.   The Trade: BREAKDOWN!   On July 31, 1989, the Minnesota Twins traded the truly beautiful Frank Viola to the New York Mets for Rick
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Forgotten Twin? Bernardo Brito

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   For those who are unfamiliar with this feature, I scour the most reliable internet sites to try to determine whether or not a former Minnesota Twin is forgotten or not. I use all the best sites – Wikipedia, Google, Bing, eBay, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and Baseball Reference. If the player isn't featured to my liking, they are officially forgotten. The entire first paragraph will come from my own memory though. No guarantees for accuracy or in
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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What is reasonable return for Twins' veterans?

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Check out this cool Kevin Slowey time line I made!   There has been a lot of talk about trading the Twins established MLB players for prospects in recent weeks. This concept has become a bit more complicated due to the Twins' relative success this season. A terrible team is an easy seller while a great team is an eager buyer. The Twins are neither great nor terrible. The difficulty for the Twins' front office will be determining who is a part of
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Twins Fan's Shocking Confession: "I don't hate the Yankees."

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Direct your hate mail appropriately.   Psst. You there. Yeah, you in the Twins hat and Joe Mauer shirsey. Put down that plush TC bear, I have a secret that I can't hold in any longer. This is very hard for me to say. I've been thinking about it for a long time and I've felt this way even longer. I can't hold it in; I need to confess to someone. I'm trusting you to keep my secret, but it won't be easy. Are you ready?   I don't hate the Yanke
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness: June 17, 2013

The Twins dropped two of three from the Tigers this weekend, falling to 7.5 games out of a division that they were never going to win. While the Twins have played better in 2013, they still do not have the talent to match the Tigers over a full season. Yet, there were some positives from the weekend and I have some apologies to make as well.   I apologize to Clete Thomas. Just one week ago, I accused a wild turkey of creating a lineup that featured Clete Thomas batting second. While I still
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Baseball Cards Determine the Top 10 Twins

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Ranking players is the single most important thing we can do as fans. If we don't know when players are better than other players, how can we properly argue about things? I certainly do not want to live in a world where rankings don't matter. However, the traditional measures - WAR, height, pants length, nicknames - are flawed. My solution: we agree to rank players based on the cost of their rookie card.   I'm just going to say this, and I kno
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   The 2013 MLB draft has come and gone. The Twins have added somewhere between 20 and 40 new players to their organization and I have no clue who 99% of them are. I do have access to Baseball Reference and the internet as a whole. In an effort to better acquaint myself with some future Twins, I will also subject each of you to a bunch of clumsily constructed jokes and feeble attempts at punnery. In that way, we all benefit.   I also plan to make
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness: June 9, 2013

The Scott Diamond Matrix?   I made you a matrix:   [TABLE=class: grid, width: 439] [/TD][TD]Plus Command Average Command Plus Stuff Jordan Zimmermann Sam Deduno Average Stuff Scott Diamond Rich Robertson [/TABLE]   I chose to use the word "average" to be kind to all stakeholders. By average, I mean not plus. By plus, I mean great. In hindsight, these words would have been fine.   Moving on, when you look at Jordan Zimmermann's numbers, you don't see a pitcher that much different from
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Friday Mailbag!!!!!

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   With the conclusion of my landmark 25 drafts in 25 days feature, I decided that I needed to stop relying so heavily on gimmicks. It's time to do some real analysis and actually offer something of value. No more insulting everyone with silly lists and bad photoshops. It's time to take things very seriously.   So, here's a fake mailbag:   What do you think of the Kohl Stewart pick? ~Prospect Guys, Twins Daily (question likely aimed at someone wit
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 2012

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I have reached the end of my journey. Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go, Twins' drafts. It's unnatural. As such, I wanted to thank everyone for the positive feedback and for simply reading these recaps. I really enjoyed the research and I really enjoyed sharing what I found. I also appreciate the support from Twins Daily and their willingness to put these on the Front Page. I think the proudest moment I have h
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 2010

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   I didn't catch any of the Twins' series with Seattle this weekend, so it seemed a bit disingenuous to write about it. I'm sure everyone will survive a week without stupid photoshops and my silly antics. Instead, I present to you another draft, one day early. If you missed my 2008 or 2009 summary, you can click the year and check them out. I did declare my secret love for a player, so that is certainly worth seeking out.   Here is 2010:   20
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 2007

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Welcome once more to 25 drafts in 25 days. We are nearing the end of this endeavor, which means we are also nearing the actual 2013 draft. I know that I am very excited to see who the next wave of future Twins will be. In the meantime, here are my recaps from 2005 and 2006, to tide you over. Just click the years and enjoy the beautiful layout.   Here is 2007:   The 2005 and 2006 drafts were Snickers bars, just packed with peanuts. In this anal
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 2004

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Hello again, Twins Daily. We are getting closer and closer to draft day. With a little over a week left until the Twins make their next draft choices, I present to you my recaps from 2001, 2002, and 2003. Just click the years to see which of those three drafts was the most handsome.   Here is 2004:   The 2003 draft produced Scott Baker and heartache. First-round pick Matt Moses never reached the Majors, marking the 3rd time in 6 years where t
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! The Twins lost three of four from the Tigers this weekend and have now lost eleven of their last twelve. Yikes. After flirting with .500 through six weeks, the Twins now have the second worst record in the American League. The Twins are 11th in runs scored and 11th in runs allowed. Bad combo, bro. The dream has died, as this team doesn't appear to have the talent to hover at .500 for a full season.   The Front Office had a busy week too. Here i
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Joe Benson: Not a Twin

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   I had intended to run some errands this afternoon, but then I saw this tweet:   Joe Benson is a member of the Texas Rangers organization... — Seth Stohs (@SethTweets) May 25, 2013   I was confused, but I knew this was an option. The Twins needed a 40-man spot for the immortal P.J. Walters, and Benson has been injured or terrible ever since his 2011 September call-up. Even in earning his 2011 promotion, he had basically played two full seasons a
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 2000

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   If you are interested, I have recaps from 1998 and 1999 as well. Just click on the years and you will be transported to a wonderful new world filled with bad jokes, silly puns and petty insults aimed at baseball players far superior to me.   Here is my 2000 draft recap:   Welcome to the new millennium!!!!!! Do you remember the Willennium?   In 1999, the Twins finally added B.J. Garbe to their system. Coming off that massive high, the Twins had
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 1997

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Hi, Twins Daily! In the last few days, I have posted a few more draft recaps at my blog. If you missed them, and want to read about them, you can find them here: 1994, 1995, 1996.   Here is 1997: Travis Lee was being a real jag and didn't want to sign with the Twins after the 1996 draft. The Twins did not want to duplicate that jaggery in 1997. They had a strict "no-jag" policy in '97, opting instead for super nice guys. In the end, the Twi
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Weekend Recap   Welp. The Twins weren't really supposed to be good or even decent this season, so a 2-7 homestand isn't crazy. It's more disappointing, after what seemed like a such a positive start. Regardless, this franchise is clearly trending upward, even if this past week doesn't reflect that.   The thing that struck me the most from the weekend was another shaky Scott Diamond start. I did a detailed breakdown of Diamond's 2012 and conclu
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 1993

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Welcome back! In my never-ending quest to recap old drafts (feature ends June 4), I present to you, if you missed them:   1991   1992   Here's 1993, in all it's glory:   The 1992 draft was a nightmare, but the 1993 draft was like the morning after a nightmare when you realize that none of what you experienced was real and that you are safe in your own bed, but then ohhhh there's blood on your pillow but wait it's just that your tooth fell out beca
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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What is Oswaldo Arcia doing with his arms?

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   The Minnesota Twins are going through a bit of a rough patch. The White Sox are terrible, but hit the Twins hard today and won the series. The Twins rotation is not performing. Mike Pelfrey seems jolly, but that's not enough. Vance Worley has cool glasses, but that's not cutting it. Pedro Hernandez is a lefty, but even that isn't getting the job done.   In addition, there are questions about the offense. Is Josh Willingham slumping or getting
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 1990

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Hello Twins Daily! I am continuing my journey through the last 25 Minnesota Twins drafts. As promised, I will not post each here, as I don't want to create any clutter. If you are interested in previous entries, you can find them here:   1988   1989   There! Here's 1990:   The 1989 draft produced one of the biggest names of the Twins' last quarter-century, in Chuck Knoblauch. How could the 1990 draft compete with that? Well, maybe the Twins d
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness

Weekend Recap   Twins' starters combined for 2 strikeouts in 17 innings against the Orioles. Yikes. Baltimore doesn't strike out a lot as a team, but my goodness, 2 strikeouts in 17 innings? The starters have to do better than that. I get the whole pitch to contact, let the defense do their thing, battle, achieve success idea, but this is too extreme for me. Strikeouts aren't everything and some pitchers can get away with low totals. However, not many can get away with it for a long time.
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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25 Minnesota Twins Drafts in 25 Days: 1988

Welcome to 25 drafts in 25 days! Over the next few weeks, I will be writing brief recaps of the last 25 drafts in Twins' history. This will all culminate with the 2013 draft, when the Twins will select 4th overall. I know that the MLB draft isn't as hyped as the NBA or NFL draft, due to the age and experience of the players involved, but the draft is an important tool used to build a franchise, especially for the Twins. This coming draft is extremely important, as the Twins have the opportun
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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The Gardy-Hicks Saga: Speculation Sentral

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   On Tuesday night, Aaron Hicks made a nice running catch and flipped the ball with his glove to Brian Dozier, all in one motion. I cheered; Ron Gardenhire hissed. Gardenhire was likely upset with how nonchalant Hicks was or perhaps jealous of how silky smooth Hicks is. Regardless, an ensuing "conversation" in the dugout was caught on FSN's cameras and set off an explosion of commentary and crying (mostly from me).   Odds are, their conversation w
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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