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About this blog

All the effort of some sort of horrible amalgamation of Denny Hocking, Matt Tolbert and Nick Punto. But no frosted tips. Now with puns!

Entries in this blog

Monday Morning Madness: September 16, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Twins/Rays Recap   Well, the end was certainly shocking. The Twins were shut out in the first two games against the Rays and were in the process of being shut out on Sunday, when they decided to score a bunch of runs in the 7th and 8th innings. The dagger was Josmil Pinto's three-run bomb with two outs in the 8th, which effectively decided the game. It's fitting that Pinto would provide the most exciting play of the series, as he's been one of t
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Forgotten Twin? John Moses

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   My memories of John Moses   John Moses was a more notable former Twin to me than to just about anyone else in the World. The reason why comes from my Grandmother. She thought I looked like him. I remember being told that as a child and it confused me as an adult. Of course, I looked back at some images of myself from childhood, and you be the judge:   http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-adyk2veuRmI/UjC_oIw1eXI/AAAAAAAABAg/_kL1wxvxUCQ/s320/twomoses.jpg  
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness: September 9, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   The Twins revived a fun tradition and got swept by the Blue Jays late in the season. It wasn't the traditional stomping we're used to, but the same basic idea. The Twins have also lost a shocking 10 games in a row at home. Where's the home field advantage, Target Field? Maybe it's time to remove that Target dog from the batters' eye. It's very distracting.   Punto's back?   I got a random text from my mom earlier this week. All it said was "
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Brad Swanson

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September Mailbag

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Everywhere I go these days, it seems that people have questions for me. What's that stain on your shirt? Did you do that to your hair on purpose? Can you please move back a couple steps? I figured, with so many questions to answer, the only reasonable response is to breakout the old mailbag and answer some of the more burning questions that ESPN, Fox Sports One and Telemundo refuse to answer. Here's some mailbag: On a recent TV broadcast, FS Nor
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Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness: Labor Day!

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   I'm just going to admit that it is getting harder and harder to watch Twins baseball. First, the lineup and rotation are drab to say the least. With Mauer hurt and now Morneau traded, there isn't a lot of star power. Second, the season is so long and we don't even have the mirage of a possibly competitive team at this point. That being said, I do watch the games and I do enjoy them. There is plenty to look forward to in September, even if the
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20 Twins Trades: Goodbye JJ Hardy

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote about that Francisco Liriano trade from a million years ago, if you want to read about it.   After the 2009 season, the Twins decided to make a smart move and deal from outfield depth to address a position that had been a weakness on the team for the better part of 20 years. Just one year later, the Twins decided, "meh, shortstops are for dorks" and traded that same player away for a couple of relievers. Buckle up folks, it's very h
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness - August 26, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Since I am filled with useless snark, I stated back on August 12 that if the Twins could win 30-35 of their next 17 games, they could get back in the Central race. See, the joke is... Anyway, with three games remaining in that 17 game stretch, the Twins will win no more than seven games. Whatever. Perhaps the team isn't good enough to win two games every game. However, the Twins are still on a 72 win pace (actually 71.5 but I'm rounding up to
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20 Twins Trades: Ramos for a Proven Closer

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! If you want to read about the Carlos Gomez/JJ Hardy trade, just click here.   Ok, let's all just try to be cool here.   The Trade: BREAKDOWN!   The Minnesota Twins traded Wilson Ramos, Joe Testa and cash to the Washington Nationals for Matt Capps.   I'm not sure Twins fans remember this, but Capps was really good in 2010. He took over as closer and fired off 27 innings of 2 ERA. He saved 16 games down the stretch and helped the Twins make the pl
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Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness - August 19, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Over the past week, the Twins offense has been inconsistent, their starting pitching has been up and down and their bullpen has started blowing leads. It's almost like this isn't a very good team. This weekend, the Twins had a lot more trouble with the lowly White Sox at home. This would be troubling, but the last three seasons have been troubling so I'm not sure we can feasibly add any additional trouble at this point. On the plus side, the Tw
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Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: Goodbye Johan

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote about the Carl Pavano mustache trade earlier this week. You can read it here. Ok, I'm going to need a second. It's just... it's hard to talk about this one. I mean... it's Johan. He was my favorite... PLAYER! BLAHAWAAWA! I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I can't do it! I'M JUST SO UPSET. I MEAN, HE'S JOHAN SANTANA, WHY DID THE TWINS HAVE TO TRADE HIM AWAY?!? ...   YOU'RE CRYING! ...   NO! JUST LEAVE ME... I DON'T NEED TO BLOW MY N
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness - August 12, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Over the course of consecutive weekends, the Twins have proved that they can defeat teams of the quality of the Houston Astros and the Chicago White Sox. I'm not sure what that means, but I guess it could signify that the Twins have vacated their position within the dregs of the league; a position they had held for the prior two seasons. Whatever the wins mean in the cosmos, they are enjoyable for us fans no matter what. Why is there no baseball
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: Garza and Bartlett for Delmon Young

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote about the J.C. Romero trade this week. Yep, that famous trade. If you ever wondered how much I despise Romero, it won't take you long to figure it out.   ​It's hard to imagine a scenario where the Twins would trade a promising young starting pitcher for a young stud hitter. However, back in 2007, that very scenario played out. While the trade did not work out for the Twins, the idea may not have been completely off-base. Of cours
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Monday Morning Madness - August 5, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   We can finally put the "could the Twins even beat a AAA team" jokes to bed. They can. The Astros are pathetic, even if their rebuild strategy is being lauded by many. While that strategy might work out long-term, the current team is rotten and I can't even imagine being an Astros fan right now. At least the Twins have a couple players worth watching while they flail. Anyway, the Twins rebounded nicely after the Royals series and if that matter
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Brad Swanson

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August Mailbag!

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   As always, these are actual questions written by someone and answered by me. I may also be that other someone. It's not a big deal.   Justin Morneau recently passed Bob Allison for fourth all-time in Twins' career home runs. Of course, he's still behind Allison in franchise history, but whatever. Morneau has 212 home runs and counting. Who will be the next Twins' player to pass Morneau on the all-time home run list?   Brad S., St. Paul, MN   G
Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: Welcome to Punto Country!

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote about the two Luis Castillo trades this week. It's a bit long, but there were two trades, SO GIVE ME A BREAK. Here it is, enjoy.   There was blood in the water. A.J. Pierzynski was still warm. The Twins had just turned one soon-to-be-expensive player into three shiny new parts, each carrying a much smaller price tag. The Twins were carrying a seven-figure pitcher who was going to get even more expensive. Why not swap him for a cou
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Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness - July 29, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   So, are the Twins not terrible or is this just another mirage? I've got to say, I've been going back and forth between "this team sucks" and "this team doesn't really suck" far too many times. I'm growing tired of it. It would be nice to just know, you know? Every time I see a lineup posted, I giggle and then make a sad, pathetic joke about Rochester. The starting pitching is underwhelming. However, the Twins have exited the All-Star break wi
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Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: The Pierzynski Bonanza!

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also reviewed the Dave Gassner trade, which you probably remember because Shannon Stewart and Bobby Kielty were involved. You can read it here.   The 2004 season marked two important Twins milestones. First, the team was coming off of playoff runs in consecutive seasons for the first time in over thirty years. Second, the Baby Jesus, Joe Mauer was primed for his MLB debut. As a result of the second milestone, the Twins were looking to unload
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Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness - July 22, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   The Twins are on fire. They have won back-to-back series for the first time since late May/early June. In doing so, they have put a little cushion between themselves and the last place White Sox. The Twins really capitalized on the Indians' pathetic defense (most notably Lonnie Chisenhall, who I feel very sorry for at this point) and won two of three games over the weekend. Winning four out of six games is a major accomplishment with this roste
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Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: 2 Trades for 1 in 2001

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote about the Todd Walker or Butch Huskey trade, depending on who you ask. You can find it here.   2001 was the first season in what would become a nearly decade-long turnaround of the Twins' franchise. For the first time in ages, the Twins were in a position to buy at the trade deadline, rather than sell. This exciting season was about to get more exciting! Two separate trades signified that the Twins were going to finally do whatever
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness: July 15, 2013

If you gave me a list of outcomes from this weekend's series with the Yankees, I would have ordered their likelihood as such: Yankees Sweep Yankees spontaneously combust; Yankee dust sweeps Twins Yankees win 2 of 3; Twins win game 2 because all Yankees oversleep Yankees win 2 of 3 fair and square Twins win 2 of 3 because all Yankees lock their keys in their cars Twins win 2 of 3 fair and square The universe ends abruptly Twins Sweep Of course, watching the Yankees yesterday, they suck.
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: The Knoblauch Debacle

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote a summary of the Kevin Tapani trade earlier this week. You can find it here.   An unhappy superstar hoping to rekindle the team success he achieved in his rookie season. A budding dynasty looking to add a couple final pieces to a Championship-level team. Later, batteries. You know what I'm talkin' about.   The Trade: BREAKDOWN!   The Minnesota Twins traded Chuck Knoblauch to the New York Yankees for Brian Buchanan, Cristian Guzman
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Brad Swanson

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Monday Morning Madness - July 8, 2013

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   The Twins dropped two of three in their series against the Blue Jays and in the process, they dropped to eleven games below .500. The Twins are on a 70-win pace, which would be a huge improvement and a giant disappointment at the same time. Prior to the season, if you had told me the Twins were going to win 70 games, I'd have laughed so hard that my pants would have fallen down. I never wore belts. After the first third of the season, I had off
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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Holiday Mailbag!

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   Holiday Mailbag? Holiday Mailbag.   I hope everyone had a fun and leisurely 4th. I kept it cool, just hanging out in my house and laying low. I watched the Twins game yesterday and I was saddened by Kyle Gibson's performance. I think he'll bounce back, but seeing him struggle was a good reminder that he is a rookie and there will be growing pains. Enough analysis, I'm here to answer questions from myself.   Carlos Gomez is currently among the
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Brad Swanson

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20 Twins Trades: Scott Erickson for dreck

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!   I also wrote about the two Rick Aguilera trades on Tuesday, you can read them here.   Just one day after trading away Rick Aguilera, one of the more popular players on the Twins team, General Manager Terry Ryan's bloodlust was cresting and he was hungry for another trade. Who would be his next victim?   The Trade: BREAKDOWN!   The Minnesota Twins traded Scott Erickson to the Baltimore Orioles for Scott Klingenbeck and a player to be named later (
Brad Swanson

Brad Swanson

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