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About this blog

[FONT=Arial]Welcome to our Twins blog. We'll bring up some "facts" and "stats", from time to time, but our real strength lies in sarcasm, silliness and Yankee-baiting.[/FONT]

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Wha Happened? #5 (vs Rangers and @ Tigers)

Here again, is a brief and not at all accurate reflection of how the Twins did over the past week   Game 20 Rangers 2 - Twins 1 Despite the evening's overlong, numbingly-slow, seemingly interminable catalogue of the talents of others, the Twin Cities were delighted by their own brief shining moment of glory. But enough has been written about the Vikings' draft...The Twins also played and saw Josh Willingham hit a homerun in a losing effort to a more talented Rangers squad. In other news: The

Dog Days: It's Okay for Puppies to Lose

Hi again humans. I am Sidney, and I am blogging for my humans. Why you ask? My humans are frustrated with the Twins. They lose and lose, they say. My humans even argue over how much the Twins will lose, which is kind of silly because even if one of my humans win...they will watch the Twins lose. When my hairy human takes me in the car (which I hate so much it makes me vomit in fury), he presses a button and we hear the voices of other people talking about the Twins...and how much they lose. Ever
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Let's Make a Deal for Justin Morneau

Another week closer to the trade deadline, another week worth of rampant speculation and wild hopes for Twins fans; after several days of heated voting the fans chose to trade Matt Capps rather than keep him, stunning the blog-o-sphere...oh wait! Let's see what the fans picked and what they passed up. Door #2 netted two votes and provides my personal favorite proof of idiotic trades made for "closers" Capps compares well with Ugueth [namesake of my first child boy OR girl] Urbina and at roughly
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Opening Day Prediction Time!

It's Opening Day (for the third day in a row!) and as we Peanuts settle in for the first game of the season (after a lunch date over Tibetan food) we thought we should offer a few last tidbits to savor before the game begins. First, congratulations to the newest member of the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame. We're proud to induct those players who make it fun to watch a Twins game, they don't always need to be the best players, just the ones who help us enjoy it. This year a crowded field led t
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Why the City Pages are Silly

Like everything else I write: this is also available at our original site: Peanuts from Heaven   It's a spring-time tradition. When Spring Break arrives, I say goodbye to my students, make a few Arrested Development jokes with my colleagues, and pick up as much as I can find on the impending baseball season This year, in addition to the standard season preview issues of Sports Illustrated and ESPN, I also picked up the City Pages, on the basis of it's ominous headline "Baseball's Fiscal Cliff: A
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Put Your Hands together for Joe Mauer

Since returning from the disabled list, Joe Mauer has been quietly reassembling himself, like a hitting terminator emerging from the blazing hell fires of suckitude, back into the consistent--if robotic--man we all know and respect. http://www.jamescamerononline.com/terminator221301.png Mauer mid-rehab stint While the hitting was something we all thought could return, we're glad to see that Mauer's defense has also been less terrible than in the past. We like to imagine that the reason for this
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Designated Everything

Most of the wise and trusted Twins blogs have noted that while the team's current offense, to put it politely, sucks harder than a Super Powered Hoover. Yet, they say, help is on the way from the prospect ranks--even if many of them are currently injured. http://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/36315418/452114082.0_standard_352.0.jpg That's a big but... However, all that hope for the future comes with a caveat as big as Kenny Vargas' backside. To wit: most of the good hitters are not
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Deja Vu All Over Again

After three games in Baltimore things look a little grim for the Twins. After last season's stinkfest fans are carefully attuned to the ups and (especially) the downs. So every little foible fels like a harbinger of another doom-tastic year. [TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://media.tri-cityherald.com/smedia/2012/04/07/23/25/952-H1qXL.St.55.jpg [/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]Cheer up Charlie...or Lexi... (Credit Patrick Semansky Tri-City Herald) [/TD] [/T
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Words and Numbers

Anyone who seeks out more writing about the Minnesota Twins, clearly cares about the team. They have opinions aplenty about the best direction the franchise could take. They think about it, they weigh pros and cons, and they argue with passion when they feel like they are right.   In that regard, there's very little that separates blog readers from the Twins front office. But in the last few weeks a font of frustration has welled up, particularly as regards recent roster decisions. I am no kind
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Getting the Band Back Together

Years ago, back when there were frequent playoff berths and easy jokes to crack amid winning seasons, we debuted a segment called: Sargent Gardy's Lonely Hits Club Band. Part Beatles homage, part McLaughlin Group homage, all goofy. Few people read them...but I was amused enough to make a t-shirt in their honor. I was wearing that t-shirt yesterday when my father-in-law sent the following text message: "Morneau is gone-hope they can get him back next year." My wife and I reacted as most fans did,
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Our Hall of Fame!

If you'd like to vote for the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame, check out our original blog and all the nerdery and entertaining images associated with it.   Once again the sounds of horsehide hitting leather mitts is resounding throughout the sunny fields of Arizona and Florida, and if we ever get to turn off our snowblowers we might just hear it up here in the towns teams call home during the summer.   As is our custom every year at this time, we're spending part of spring training remembering
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Cliff Notes Guide to the 2014 Twins: "The Insistent Tune of a Broken Violin on an August Afternoon"

Chs. 4-5: July and August   The fledgling, flickering hope alive in the hearts of the Twins and their fans at the end of June was doused with the frigid realization of inadequacy. The pivotal moment established by the previous chapters' foreshadowing was for the "All-Star Game" to be held in the middle of July.     http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Kurt+Suzuki+85th+MLB+Star+Game+m2g5VjqmdOnl.jpg Yay! The Party's Over!! In hosting the party, the Twins had their moment to seize releva
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Terry Ryan Learns the Magic Word

As we tip toe to July, we know that inevitably Twins fans will start to imagine all manner of favorable scenarios, dream sequences and wishful thinking that leads the GM Terry Ryan to make all the right moves and deliver a winner to Target Field.   We Peanuts from Heaven are nothing if not imaginative, but rather than prognosticate any remotely feasible trade scenarios, allow us to write another in our on-going series of creative scenes played against a backdrop of the Twins 2015 season (apologi
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Adopt a Prospect: Meet JT "SPIKE" Chargois

Three years ago, we Peanuts adopted a prospect. A delightful prospect we thought could grow into an intimidating reliever...or at least his beard could. A guy we cared for, and supported through thick and (more frequently) thin, until finally, we waved good bye as he ran joyfully through a field upstate, where all the released prospects go when they're released.   We spent a year in mourning, but we're ready to re-open our hearts, to another prospect. And to that end, we've adopted another in th
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Cliff Notes to the 2014 Twins: Ch. 1 April

We know how it is. Life is busy: with work and family and social engagements, there are a lot of demands on your time. So, if you've missed some developments in the first month of the season, you're perfectly normal. Missing baseball games is not unlike missing reading assignments for school, so we're happy to provide this series of Cliff Notes to summarize, explain and analyze the story that is the 2014 Twins Season. "Chapter I: April" Summary: At the beginning of the season, the Twins are a t

Laughing through the Pain: Another Way to Look at Twins Hitting

A year ago I offered an alternative statistic for measuring player worth--not in wins/losses, but in the far more useful field of entertaining the fan base: Amusement Above Replacement Player (AARP) for short. The statistic is measured in five key categories on a scale of -2 to +2, Play Nickname: Physical Traits: Personality/Demeanor: Oddities: When added up, these statistics gives us a total AARP somewhere between -10 and +10.   Last year, the AARP statistic revealed that while the T
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

If the Twins were Scotches

After our second year of watching and gambling on Twins baseball, we Peanuts from Heaven had our annual pay-off dinner/drinking fest at the St. Paul Grill, aligning perfectly with Game One of the World Series. And while Stinky bemoaned Alcides Escobar's lousy pitch selection (seriously, three pitches up by his eyes? I mean...who does he think he is, Delmon Young?), we also made time to talk about the team we actually care about.   In the midst of the third...or maybe fifth...scotch, I started to
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Cliff Notes to the 2014 Twins: Ch. 3 June

Even though it's summer, and I'm free from teaching for a few blissful weeks, I have to keep going...with that here's my Cliff Notes Guide to June, in case you're joining this Twins season already in progress.   Summary: Ch. 3 "June" Entering the month of June the Twins were still lurking on the fringes of what could be defined as a "dangerous" team. One that didn't know it wasn't good enough to be playing like it was. One that could rely on youthful exuberance, energy and enthusiasm to see th
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Cliff Notes for the 2015 Twins: From June to the All-Star Break

Again, I've been derelict in my duty--though I was out of the country and away from reliable internets for a while there. Still were back with another nerdy English-Class style recap of the last month (plus) in Twins Territory     Chapter 3: June to the All-Star Break   Plot Summary:   So great was the joy among fans after a shockingly strong June, that the Twins could, to many eyes, have appeared better than they actually were. So it was only slightly surprising that the team stumbled badly in
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

The Great Twins Scotch Bet: Part Deux

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container, align: center] http://mng-twincities.smugmug.com/photos/i-bH52wwS/0/L/i-bH52wwS-L.jpg [TD=class: tr-caption]If I win that 18 year old Highland Park, you get a taste Josmil[/TD] [/TABLE] As some of you might remember, we Peanuts have found a way to make the last few weeks of yet another lost season slightly interesting: GAMBLING!         Okay, so we don't have any real money on the line, just requests for Scotch that we likely would have spent money on anyw
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Cliff Notes for 2015: April

In an effort to get back in the swing of writing about the Twins consistently, I'm going back to an old well: Cliff-Notes. After all, I end up checking the cliff notes of everything book I teach for plagiarism, I figure this is just getting ahead of the curve. (For the start on cliff-notes I made before September crushed my baseball loving soul click here)   With that, let's start looking at Volume 2 of the Twins' Cliff Notes   Chapter 1: "April" Plot Summary: With the traditional exposition of

#14,001

For the last three years, the Murphy family has tried to answer a single question: how can we help get Tony Oliva in the Hall of Fame? http://votetonyo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/VoteTonyO_Tony_Oliva_Official_Fan_Club-300x200.jpg The Vote Tony O Team No one asked them to answer that question. Not the Twins. Not Tony himself. They weren't deputized or drafted. They chose to do it themselves, coming together in a kitchen to found Vote Tony O to find out, "how can we help get Tony Ol
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Why I Still Write About Sports at Times Like This

It's been a hard fall for me to write in these spaces. Every evening I try to sit down to write, I find a dozen other things to do. There are papers to grade and recommendations to submit and people to actually be married to. So while I love to write, and even though I want to write, it slips through my fingers more often than I like.   This past week, I had the time, I had the energy, but every time I opened up this page, I stopped and stared. And as the feeds from North Minneapolis streamed in
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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