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[FONT=Arial]Welcome to our Twins blog. We'll bring up some "facts" and "stats", from time to time, but our real strength lies in sarcasm, silliness and Yankee-baiting.[/FONT]

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Adopt a Prospect Volume 2.3: Dange-atunity!

It's time for Lesson Number 3 in our off-brand self-help seminar: Derestraining a Force Inside You. (If you want to read lessons 1 & 2 follow the links back to our original blogs...we'll even waive the $79.99 charge plus parking fees!) A series of motivational messages directed specifically at Twins AAA reliever Luis Perdomo. Remember this word Luis! 危机 What's that? You don't speak Mandarin? Oh...well if you did you'd be really impressed. You see, that's the traditional symbol for "crisis
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Now closing for the Twins: James Bond

Growing up, there were three songs that would invariably draw my entire family in to the tv room: "One Shining Moment", "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and "The James Bond Theme". Last Friday (after Chris Davis crushed the hopes of Twins fans with a game-winning grand slam), I watched a James Bond documentary (Everything or Nothing available on Netflix streaming) to cheer myself up. [TABLE=class: tr-caption-container, align: center] http://cdn.wittysparks.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/007.jpg?a
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Adopt a Prospect Volume 2.2: De-Restraining the Force Inside

It's a frickin' monsoon out there little rainy today, and rather than stare hopefully at the FSN rain delay, hoping that the game restarts and the Twins suddenly remember the good ol' days of two weeks ago when they could crush the Red Sox as easily as a twig under a space ship, we decided to revisit our old pal Luis Perdomo! Then we saw the statistics and remembered that Luis needs a motivation coach. So it's high time for lesson number two: (This instruction was intended for Luis Perdomo only.
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Joe Mauer, Michael Bradley and the Problem with Artistic Athletes

So I've been more or less completely consumed with the World Cup this month. Watching every match I can, reading interviews, reports, reviewing highlights, and writing like a maniac. But I still think of baseball (and can prove it with stuff on another blog), perhaps never more clearly than when I was watching a World Cup match with some friends last Thursday. We needed a point against Germany, or some good fortune in another match. Being Minnesota sports fans, we fully anticipated that everythi
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Calling All Bribes

You can vote for the "Hall of Fame" discussed in this blog (and see this post with all kinds of other goofy photoshops) on our main blogger page.   After the debacle of the Hall of Fame's "non-election" and last weekend's Academy Awards, there is but one honor left to bestow before the baseball season begins: the Peanuts From Heaven Hall of Fame! Yes, we still offer induction to all those who make the game fun to watch (even if they weren't exactly "good" at "playing the game of baseball"). [TAB
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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2012's Teachable Moments: Money Changes You

This post was originally published at Peanuts From Heaven   The playoffs are in high gear, but those who cling to hope for the underdogs might be forgiven for tuning out early this year. The league championship series featured the past three champions (Cardinals, Giants and Yankees) and a preseason favorite (the Detroit Tigers). Gone are the plucky upstarts: the Nationals, the A's, the O's, the Reds. In short all the teams who haven't sniffed the World Series in over 20 years, and in their place
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Wha Happened? #6 (Indians, Red Sox, Orioles and White Sox)

Rumors of our demise our greatly exaggerated. Rumors of the school year ending, our student teacher leaving and our work load increasing dramatically are absolutely accurate. Here now, a pseudo-recap of the weeks since the Twins last got a day off. Game 27 Indians 7 - Twins 6 Long ago I first wrote about the magical Land of Cleve, a blighted kingdom where no team can win for long and where all the knights in the land eventually flee for other kingdom's with better salaries and dental packages
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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The Great Twins Scotch Bet

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container, align: center] http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/434*328/1%20gal%20twins090713.jpg [TD=class: tr-caption]Kevin Corriea: Determined to Win My Wife a Scotch[/TD] [/TABLE] At the start of the year my wife (aka Stinky), her father (aka Gouger) and I made a bet. The winner of this bet would win two glasses of scotch (redeemable at any time they chose), the losers would buy said scotch. The subject of the bet, naturally for a set of Twins fans, was how ma
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Adopt a Prospect #8: The End of Luis Perdomo

Admittedly I am several months late in posting and several dollars short in sentiment (being swamped with student essays makes for an all too convenient excuse), but allow me to say the following.   1) Perdomo played fairly well both in the minor leagues and (after a rocky beginning) the majors--albeit during the most inconsequential innings of the most inconsequential games of an inconsequential season. FINAL STATS: Minors 72.666 IP over 45 Appearances; 1.046 WHIP; 2.7 BB/9; 8.4 K/9; 3.09 K/BB
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Ring out the old. Ring in the new.

It's 2013, and that means that the Twins haven't lost a game yet this year!!   Yes, enthusiasm has been in short supply for the past two seasons, with more than a few loyal supporters questioning their allegiances faster than the Malfoy family at the end of the Deathly Hallows. We peanuts have long been among the most sentimental of the blogging community. We sigh with memories of Johan and Torii (heck, we even mourned Boof Bonser and Brendan Harris). And as the Twins rebuilding project has begu
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Wha Happened? #2 (@ Orioles and Royals)

We're happy to keep guiding you through the strange but true events of the Twins 2013 season *Note: Events are not actually true, but would be very entertaining if they were.   Here's our second edition of Twins recaps as only we can do them: inaccurately but chock full of puns and bad jokes! Game 4 Orioles 9-Twins 5 [TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center] [/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]MASN Sports [/TD] [/TABLE] Picking up where he left off last year, Liam Hend
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Another year's draft: in 5 words or less!

Apparently the first times around in posting this I had a nasty bit of formatting on the other blog, now that's fixed and complemented with a poll about Twins draftees all of which can still be enjoyed at our blogspot address, here's a taste of what you'll find there:  With the Twins more or less out of contention for this season (recent success not with standing), the attention of the Twins blog-o-sphere has been firmly fixed on the minor leagues and potential for future glory. There are brigh
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Wha' Happened #9 (GAME OF THE WEEK)

Rather than continually reposting the same stuff here as on my other website--and since these recaps are often (week) late--I'm going to trim down these posts to more manageable bite size single best game write ups I've got, and trust that if you want to read more you will find it at THIS WEBSITE!   Game 69 Twins 7 - White Sox 5 The Twins do not care for power hitting. It hurts the feelings of our opponents after all, and we can't have that. But we're willing to make an exception for the White S
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Why we must trade Liriano

There's still a lot of debate over whether or not the Minnesota Twins should trade Francisco Liriano. Sure he's the best pitcher on the staff of a team that's rather desperate for starting pitching, but he's also a free-agent-to-be with a demanding agent who will probably be looking for a sizable pay day (one that we likely can't afford). Yet, there are plenty of people who would like Frankie Franchise to stick around now that he's figured out how to be consistently dangerous on the hill (Monday
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Greatest. Promotional Idea. Ever.

Now that pitchers and catchers have officially reported to Ft. Meyers we can turn off the hot stove and turn on our baseball brains. My baseball brain would like to offer the Twins the following promotional opportunity. The team recently announced that, for the first time in a decade, there would be no bobblehead give-away day this season. Since the bobbleheads were once a big lure for a team struggling to draw fans, boost attendance and generate revenue to put back into payroll, we need some ki
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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A Winter Meeting's Guide to Twinsey World

Monday marks the kickoff of the Winter Meetings in Orlando, Florida (aka: a convenient holiday for baseball executives and their families). Naturally, as the Twins do their part at the Winter Meetings for the next four days, they may make time to have a little fun in the Happiest Place on Earth That is Also a Festering Swamp. But the attractions they see may have extra ramifications on their plans for the next four days. Here we present the possible outcomes of how what they see and could manife
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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The Battle over Torii Hunter

He's back. Torii Hunter is back, and in the 7 hours of his official presence in a Twins line-up again there are two clear camps in response to his return.     In the blue corner, weighing in at 140 characters, 140,000 grey hairs in the last four seasons and 140 million liters of digital ink are the analytically minded, podcast savvy, SABR-metrical, writers, critics and yes...fans who wonder what the heck the Pohlad's were thinking.   "This is not the Torii Hunter we fell in love with," they remi
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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#ParkBlossom: The Imagined Poetry of Byung-Ho Park

On perhaps the most beautiful day Minnesotans have seen in 2016, fans of the local ball club were treated to sunshine, cold beer and a dream-like state in which, we we had gone almost 48 whole hours without a loss.   But still there was unrest, muttering and snarls at the young hitters. "NOT A HOME RUN, MAUER!" when the resurgent catcher ripped a screamer up the middle, straight into a second baseman's glove. "SWING THE BAT, BIG BOY!" when Miguel Sano spat on border line pitch after border line
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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The Plouffe Paradox

Last Friday, I attended what will likely be my last game of the year. As you would expect, I ate more than was good for me, and watched the Twins go down in ignominious defeat. I also heard a noise I had never heard before at the ballpark. There were men at first and second with one out when a ground ball rolled harmlessly to Trevor Plouffe. One out, easy as pie...but did he throw the ball to second base for the double play? No. No he did not. I've heard fans boo; I've heard fans jeer; I've hear
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Why JT Chargois is better than A-Rod

It has not been an easy last two weeks for our Adopted Prospect: Mr. Jon Tiberius Chargois (okay it's Jon Thomas...but give me some nerd slack). He had his worst outing of the year giving up 6 earned runs on three walks and three hits, and the breezy dominance that made Chargois a Florida State League All-Star seems like a distant memory compared to his current form.   And yet, this weekend, as the Twins got snake bitten (again) by the Yankees and their complicated, record-book busting (again) D
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Lesson's from a Mom

This weekend, for mother's day I helped honor the woman who taught me how to irrationally love a bunch of wild, punk kids...she had practice with my brothers and I, and it's clearly served her well as a baseball fan too. My mother is a die-hard, eternally loyal and unflaggingly optimistic, and permanently enamored of the Twins. She cheers for Mauer when others boo, she cheers for Nishioka when others leave him for dead, somehow-someway, she even cheers for Matt Capps. But over mother's day brunc
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Adopt a Prospect #6: Luis Perdomo's Debut!

Well, that debut could definitely have gone better.   After posting a .949 WHIP between AA & AAA (only .661 in AAA) Luis Perdomo gave up 1 hit, 3 walks and a Swagalicious Error to 7 batters last night, his first night as an honest to goodness Minnesota Twin. He was wild (19 balls to just 11 strikes) and gave up 2 (unearned) runs before leaving the bases loaded in low leverage situation.   There is one natural thing to blame this on: THE SOUL PATCH!!   LUIS, your beard is a thing of beauty an
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Adopt a Prospect Vol 2.4: Enjoy the Little Things, Like Pizza Stop Pizza

(Disclaimer: since this seminar is designed for Luis Perdomo, Peanuts From Heaven shall not be held responsible for any injury--either physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual--incurred by any person who adopts seminar lessons as their own. We do however take complete credit for any improvement--either physical, mental, emotional or spiritual...and especially financial--of the life of any person who adopts seminar lessons as their own) http://thumbs4.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/m_6AoKqKx5RNjQjtpTmQ
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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Our Minnesota Twins (Part 2)

Continuing our series that aims to answer the question "who the heck is that guy?" [both here and on our other blog]: we're here to tell you about prominent Twins, and we'll do it in the most Minnesotan way we know how: by providing you facts (player's background), fiction (the alternate background we used to dream up the photoshop), fandom (ways to cheer for them) and flattery (less positive cheers, aka Minnesota "Nice" comments) Let's get started! Meet Ryan Doumit! (Back Up Catcher/DH) Play
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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